I’m giving up. I’ve been proactive for 12 years now. I’ve been trying to get him to see me in new light. Not as the little girl that would tag along with my brother and his friends. Instead, I have a good job, I come to Mark’s classes on the days I can make. Coincidentally Mark teaches on chemistry, which ties into my job; so it’s not only a way for me to see him, but it is also helping my career. But I think I’m going to give it all up. Nothing seems to work. Maybe he’ll just see me as that little girl all his life. It feels like it’s time to be proactive in finding someone who actually wants me; not just a fake fairytale.

Yes! So after today’s class I’ll let Mark know that I won’t be coming back after this week is over, and he can fill my spot with another student. He will probably be thrilled not to have me around anymore. That’s only three more days including today. I payed for it, I’m going to finish it.

I settle down into my normal seat in the class, ready to soak up as much knowledge as possible. I’ve been doing that, I’ve been doing all the assignments, all the homework, everything. Even though I’ve already graduated college two years ago.

I wonder if I’ll be as proactive as I have been? Or maybe I should let the guy initiate? It’s hard to say…

‘Mark!’ Mark just walked into the classroom to his podium. ‘Agh…I’m going to have to train my brain to stop doing that.’

“Class begins now,” Mark called out to the students.

‘Focus, Jane. You are here to learn.’ This might be harder than I thought.

“Dismissed.”

Wow. That class was jammed packed full of so much information. I’m glad I didn’t decide to give up last week. But now onto the harder stuff.

As I walked towards the podium, I tried to gage Mark. Was he in a good mood? A forgiving mood? But as always I could never tell what he was thinking.

I let him answer the questions of his normal students. They had exams coming up. I remember exams…

As last student had walked away, “Mark?”

“Jane. You know I prefer Prof. Walter at school. Just because we know each other you should still be conscience of your surroundings.”

‘Yeah. This is not something that will be a good addition to my life. I need to give up.’ “Okay, Professor Walter. I’ll call you that until the end of the week. And then you can fill my seat. I’ve learned plenty from you and I think I should focus more on my future, and whatever it entails. Thank you for all the knowledge you have given to me this last year, but I should stop now. Thank you again,” I turned in my homework assignment and walked out of the classroom. ‘Strange? I wasn’t concerned about his feelings. I wasn’t concerned about giving him a chance to speak. I just knew that I was done. I had given too many years to a non existent fairytale. Reality was needed now. I deserved happiness.’

…

Mark

I still stood at podium. It had been almost 10 minutes since Jane left. ‘What just happened? She’s not going to come back?’

In the beginning, I was not thrilled at the idea of having Jeff’s little sister sit in on my class. I thought she had just wanted to come and stare at me, it she actually did some amazing work. She is actually really gifted in chemistry. I’ve enjoyed getting her assignments back and seeing what she comes up with. I thought all was well in the world.

But she was different today. She was indifferent to me. She didn’t seem to care at all that she was going to leave. I know she likes me, or knew… But I’m not a fun person. I’m boring. I thought after she got to know me over time she would give up and find someone else. Like everyone else does. She’s grown into a beautiful, talented, energetic young women. I didn’t want her to settle for me; just because she liked me years ago. I was giving her an out….right?

I pulled out my phone…

“Hello?”

“Jeff. What’s up with your sister? She seemed indifferent to me today? What does that mean?”

Laughter exploded from Jeff’s side, “so she finally gave up on you, huh?”

‘Really? But I should feel glad. I wanted that to happen. Right?’

“I guess.”

“Bro. My sister has had a crush on you for twelve years. How long did you expect her to keep it up? Believe me I was not a fan when we were younger, but what’s so wrong with her now? She’s brilliant. She’s hardworking. She’s beautiful. You’re pretty much an idiot for letting her go. I’m just glad that you never broke her heart. I would have killed you.”

The laughter was gone from Jeff’s voice, “but I didn’t want to start anything with her and end up breaking her heart because I’m not a fun person. You know me. I’m boring. I’m a nerd. I don’t know what to do for dating.”

“That’s a coward’s excuse. Why are you such an idiot. You are a professor. You expect your students to learn a subject that they don’t understand. So why can’t you learn about something you don’t understand. There are books, speakers, online communities, and various other options. Even if your not the best at something you can always learn how to be better at it.”

‘That was true. I could learn. But did I really want to try?’

“If your questioning whether or not you want to try; then ask yourself this question…. Will I be okay is she dates someone else. Marry someone else? Has another man’s kid? Because bro it’s bound to happen. My sister is top notch. Just because you didn’t start things with her she is bound to have many men going after her. And this is nothing new. She has had several suitors already through the years but her heart was set on you. Also you said she was indifferent to you so she’s already made up her mind. You don’t have much time until that window is closed forever. If you’re going to try I would get going. Whatever you decide we are still buds. See ya bro.”

I was gone.

…

Jane

I didn’t realize that giving up on a crush would bring life and pep back into my step. Was this college campus always this beautiful? My life was been revolving around Mark all these years that I haven’t really been paying attention.

“Excuse me,”

A very handsome man had walked up to me. “Yes?”

“You are just my type, do you think I could get your number?”

‘Oh. I didn’t realize I would be meeting someone so soon. But my first thought was Mark. So I guess I wasn’t ready.’ “I am flattered. But I just stopped a long time crush today and I don’t think I am quite ready to start a new relationship. I don’t want to bring any baggage with me when I start something new. Im sorry.”

“No worries at all. But your answer why was still perfect. How about this,” he reached in his backpack for a piece of paper, “I’ll leave my name and number. And if you ever decide you are ready to start seeing someone else, call me up.” And he ran to catch up with his group.

I stood there holding the paper. The name Jason was next to a number. I didn’t realize saying no to fairytale would awaken reality so quickly. I folded the paper and shoved it in my back pant pocket. Maybe I would take Jason up on his offer after some time. Maybe…

There stood Mark.

…

Mark

I was sweating and panting. I probably looked crazy. I was usually quite calm and collected. But not now. And especially not after what I just watched. How a guy just handed Jane a piece of paper, probably his number, and she tucked it into her pocket. Jeff was right. Jane was going to be snatched and taken away if I didn’t move fast.

“Jane. Wait.”

“What do you want Professor Walters? I believe I said all I needed to say earlier.”

‘Ouch. I deserved that. I didn’t think she would shut me out this quickly.’ “You can call me Mark now. We are just in the classroom and I wanted to stay professional just in case some students were still around. We can talk freely now.”

“I don’t think we can. Because technically I’m still your student. So I should too, stay professional. Did you have anything to say? If not I’m going to head home.”

She was walking away from me. My chance was slipping away. ‘No.’

“Jane! Please stop,” I was holding onto her, her hand to be exact. It felt right. “Jane. I’m sorry. I’ve been treating you badly. I didn’t realize how I felt until you said you were leaving. I didn’t want to start anything with you because I was worried I would break your heart because I’m a boring person. I didn’t want to ruin your youth. I don’t know what I’m really trying to say. But I know I want to date you. I’ll do anything possible to make you happy. I’ll do research and figure out dating. Just please don’t leave.” ‘I probably sounded like an idiot. And I am. Definitely an idiot for letting this go on so long. I’m surprised she didn’t leave sooner.’

She wasn’t moving. She just had her back towards me. But her hand was still in mine. She hadn’t tried to yank it away. She was still here.

…

Jane

‘What’s going on? Is this really happening? Mark is clutching my hand. He’s telling me he wants to date me. He doesn’t want me to leave. How am I supposed to respond. Only twenty minutes ago, I did decide I would give up on him. Was I supposed to take that all back and accept him? Or do I stand my ground and walk away?’

“Jane. Please look at me?”

My heart fluttered at his words. ‘No heart.’ But I still turned to face him. And my heart fluttered again. This was a new Mark in front of me. He looked disheveled and completely out of sorts. But he still looked handsome to me. Maybe more handsome. My heart was fluttering faster, as I just stared at him. “What do you want Mark,” I could feel the tears startling to well up.

“Jane. Please give me another chance. I’m so sorry I made you feel so alone this whole time. I didn’t realize I was still pushing you away these last eight months. I thought I was growing closer to you. But I’m realizing now that I never changed on the outside. I’m sorry,” he pulled me closer to him, “do I still have chance?”

My heart was screaming Yes! But my mind was trying to talk me out of it. This was the closest I had been to Mark. He was only inches from me. How I wished he would pull me closer to him. I knew my answer, after that. It was always a yes. It was always going to be him. “Yes. You have a chance.”

Nothing. I looked up into Mark’s eyes and he looked so happy and seemed to relax a bit. But we just stood there.

“Sorry. I haven’t had a chance to research yet, so I don’t know what is considered appropriate at the beginning of a relationship…”

‘He’s so cute.’ So instead I took the initiative and took the step towards him. Letting go of his hand I wrapped my arms around his waist and waited for Mark to react. And he did. He hugged me back.

…

Jane

It’s only been eight hours since Mark and I started dating. And we pretty much just walked hand in hand all over the campus. Until now, Mark is driving me home. It feels so surreal. Mark is my boyfriend. And even though dating is not what I thought; it’s been quite cute to watch him being unsure of how to act. He’s probably going to go home and research things; and he’ll be completely different tomorrow.

We just pulled up in front of my house. We’ve been holding hands the entire time. Mark is now looking at our hands interlocked. Pondering something. And he pulls away from me.

‘What’s this? Is he regretting it already? I was able to handle rejection, but not this.’ Panic filled me until he was walking around and opened my door for me. ‘Sweet.’ Then he quickly grabbed my hand again.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to let you go tonight if letting go of your hand to exit a car is difficult for me.”

‘Cute.’ I gripped his hand back. “I know what you mean. I don’t want this night to end, because it doesn’t seem real. Like it’s all a dream,” I moved closer and also grabbed his arm. I was trying to say it in a laughable tone, but I realized how much I actually meant it.

Mark stopped walking. He turned to me and pulled me closer. He kissed my forehead.

‘He kissed me!!!!’

“I don’t want to move too fast, but is it more real now?”

I was smiling. I was smiling on the inside, and I’m sure I was smiling stupidly on the outside. I couldn’t seem to form words so I just l nodded.

Mark chuckled, “Cutie,” and he pulled me closer to him as he walked me to my door.

I didn’t want to leave him but I knew we had the rest of our lives. I squeezed his hand before starting to step away.

But he stopped me. He pulled me in for another hug. “You need to do one thing for me.”

“What?!”

“Give me the paper in your pant back pocket,” he held out his hand.

‘What paper? Oh, haha!’ I dug the paper out of my pocket and placed it into Mark’s hand. “I had completely forgotten about that.”

“I’ve been wanting to get that paper away from you since I saw that guy give it to you.” Mark crumpled the paper in his hand and tossed it into the trashcan beside us.

I didn’t want him worry about it anymore and I moved into his embrace. Then I only whispered, “you don’t have to worry. You are all I want.” He relaxed into me and hugged me back.

I didn’t want to pull away, but we couldn’t stay in this position forever. I pulled back from him and looked up into his face, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He looked down into mine. Our faces inches apart. “Yes. You’ll see me tomorrow.”

We didn’t move. I wanted to kiss him, but I wasn’t going to initiate this.

“I know it’s too soon, but may I?” His eyes seemed to plead with me.

I only nodded.

And he lowered his face to mine and kissed me. A deep kiss, that I would remember forever.

The first of many. A kiss from Mark; my fairytale love.

The End