Category Archives: Reflections

Short Story #23

Katherine

“And what is your celebrity crush?” The MC thrusts the microphone into another woman’s face.

‘Why am I here?’ I know why I’m here, here. My husband is a groomsman in his friend’s wedding. I’m not in the wedding party, but I was invited as his plus one. Which is fine, its all good. It gave me a chance to wear a beautiful dress. But sitting here in the dining hall, at a table alone, because my husband has to sit with the wedding party; I’m questioning why I’m here.

The MC has been trickling between tables trying to break the ice. And the question he has been asking all the women present is, “who is your celebrity crush?” But I mean everyone; not just women who might appear single. But women who are obviously sitting next to the husbands or boyfriends. And the crazy thing to me is, these women are actually answering. “Brad Pitt, Chris Evan’s, Zac Efron, etc…” and the men they are next to don’t look anything like their so called crush.

It’s appalling to me. How could these women say these things in public, but most importantly in front of the men they love.

That MC better not come near me. Because I’m not going to play along. I’m going to say what needs to be said, and I will probably be asked to leave or I might just leave voluntarily.

Instead I watched in horror, as the MC walked right over to the bride and groom’s table and asked that awful question, “so bride, who is your celebrity crush?”

And she blatantly says, “Chris Hemsworth, of course!”

I looked right at the groom and he grimaced. Everyone knows what Hemsworth looks like; but the groom was nothing like him.

‘Poor guy.’ That groom is no longer going to enjoy his wedding; instead he is going to be debating on whether his bride truly loves him or not, or if she is settling.

This is why I’m wondering why I’m still here. Because I know what’s going to happen. And just as I had that thought, the MC shoved the microphone into my face.

“So pretty lady! Who is your celebrity crush?”

“No one.”

All talking and laughter silenced. All eyes were on me; which I truly despise. Why does God keep putting me in these situations?

“Come on! Don’t be shy. Who is it?” The MC kept getting closer and closer. Invading my space.

‘Don’t do it Katherine…’ I grabbed the mic from the MC, stood, and moved away from my chair. “Do you really think this is something you should be saying? Ladies. You are sitting next to your husbands, boyfriends, or potential ones, and you are saying you have a crush on someone else!? I can understand this behavior in high school, maybe even college. But the moment you started dating someone, you should have thrown out all ideas or crushes. The only crush you should have is your spouse or boyfriend. They should have all your affection and love.” I wasn’t done, but the eye rolls were starting.

“Let me ask you this, what if your man tonight said he had a crush on a celebrity. A woman who was in great contrast to you. Would you be giggling and laughing along? Would you be fine with the idea of your man looking and thinking about another woman? I surely wouldn’t. I would be constantly worried, terrified, and angry at myself for not being enough for him. That he had to look elsewhere with some of his affection or desires. Why is it that when a woman does this it’s innocent, but if a man does it he is cheating. It should go both ways.” I had said my piece. The look of annoyance and anger was beginning to appear on almost every woman in the room. I handed the mic back to the stunned MC, grabbed my purse and jacket, and made my way to the doors closest to me.

“Really no crush?” The MC yelled out to me.

I was pissed. But sure I’ll answer, I turned around and with a huge smile on my face, “Nathaniel Carter. If he ever becomes famous in the future,” I didn’t wait for anything and I left that unfortunate celebration.

As grand as my exit was; I couldn’t very well leave. My husband was still here, and I didn’t want to leave him stranded at this dreadful wedding. So instead I sat at the free bar, and had a practically fruit juice drink. Waiting somewhat patiently for my husband to be done.

…

“Dude. That’s the woman. The one who stood up for all us guys in there.” A couple of men had come out of the hall and spied the woman that caused a huge stir and uproar.

“Yeah. She was amazing! As soon as my girlfriend said her crush, I knew that my relationship was over. There’s no way I’m staying with someone who is looking elsewhere. There’s no way I can possibly live up to her unrealistic standard. Let’s go tell her that we are grateful for what she said.” They moved towards the courageous woman.

“Miss?” One man tapped the woman on the shoulder. she turned to look at him, but her face read that she was expecting backlash.

“Thank you. What you said really got through to my wife tonight. She realized that she was wrong for joining into the game. That what you said really gave her insight to my perspective. So thank you so much.”

Shock was on my face. I was so surprised that I actually made a difference with my outburst, in someone’s life.

“Yes. Thank you for what you said. The moment my girlfriend said she practically fantasizes about another guy, and was incredibly angry that you called out all the woman essentially. I knew that the relationship was over because our values didn’t line up. So thank you for saying what you said.”

I am so glad that someone appreciates the sacrifice I made tonight. Because it was truly a sacrifice. These people would never want me around again. Another friend circle gone. But honestly, I didn’t think anyone here would have been my friend. Considering, we also went to the wedding of the brother of this groom. At that wedding, the bridesmaids and friends of the bride were truly unkind to me. They mocked me for being a “plain Jane” also that I was simple, quiet, and boring; all said through whispers. At least I knew going into the wedding, my husband would be my only companion for that evening.

So I was quite surprised and truly happy that my outburst helped someone tonight. I gestured to the seats next to me; and the men took up residence next to me.

…

Nathaniel

“What happened? I left to use the restroom, and when I came back everyone was growling and some people were glaring at me. What did I miss?” Nathaniel sat back in his seat. He glanced to the table where Katherine was sitting, and was confused at why she wasn’t there staring back at him.

“Bro. Your wife is a truly amazing woman. She just says what needs to be said, and doesn’t care about the repercussions. She caused a major shift in the wedding.” He explained what had happened.

I chuckled once he finished. ‘That’s my Kathy. Always standing up for the little guy.’ She has always spoken when someone needed to be jolted back to reality. She believes that this is what God uses her for. I looked out into the room. Several seats were empty. Actually most of the men were gone from the room. So hopefully what she said helped people tonight.

However, I knew all too well that she was probably hiding somewhere just waiting to leave. Because every time she questions people, she always loses them.

“Jasper, I’m going to go search for my wife, want to tag along?” Nathaniel grabbed his suit jacket from the back of his chair as he stood.

“Sure. The atmosphere in here has fizzled. I don’t really want to be present for some of the backlash or drama,” Jasper too stood grabbing his belongs.

We exited to the doors and I was astonished at the sight we saw as we came to where the free drinks were. There stood a massive crowd of men; and they all stood around a figure I knew completely, my wife. She was mesmerizing. She was laughing and smiling along with all the men around her. This was the first time my wife wasn’t hiding; instead she was glowing.

“Bro,” Jasper brought me out of my admiration for my wife, “your wife is incredible. She not only spoke up for the men; but she has actually captured the attention of all the men she defended. And is it just me or is she beaming?”

“She is.” I was so proud of my wife. So many times she has had these outbursts that need to be said; but they always have huge repercussions. She’s always alienated. It wears on her; it has been tearing her down. But she continues to speak up. So in this moment I have so much pride for my wife. That she is getting all this positive attention.

“Bro, I know you are dazzled by your wife, but are you not at all worried, with her being surrounded by all those men?” Jasper brought me out of my daze.

“She practically told everyone in that room that she was taken. And then that she loves only me; if what you told me was accurate.” I looked at Jasper and he nodded, “so no. I have nothing to worry about.”

Two men came out the doors behind us. “Jake don’t. She practically declared herself happily married. She’s not going to look twice at you,” a young man had grabbed the arm of another man now walking past us.

“So what. She was so attractive when she spoke earlier. And look,” he pointed over at the crowd, “she won’t even know what I’m thinking. With all those other men around her; they will be a great cover for me. I’ll slip in next to her, and start working my magic.” He wiped his friends off of him and started towards the bar.

“So…Nathaniel, are you still calm about all the attention your wife is getting,” Jasper turned away from the two men, but as he looked back, all he saw was Nathaniel’s back disappearing into the sea of men surrounding his wife.

…

Katherine

I didn’t expect this to happen. The first two men became four, then eight, then twelve, then twenty. To now, I have no idea how vast this crowd of men is. I didn’t expect my words to truly help so many relationships. About eighty percent of the men had come up to thank me. That their wives realized their mistakes and apologized. Sadly the other twenty were men that were planning on ending their relationships with their dates. Because their dates became angry at the men because they couldn’t take a “joke”. But I felt truly honored that I had helped.

But suddenly the good feeling left. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I knew it wasn’t my husband, I swirled in my chair to be met with a younger man staring at me intently. I didn’t trust those eyes.

Thankfully a hand came and swatted the unwelcome hand off my shoulder and grabbed my waist. I knew that touch. I turn and see my husband standing there. “Hubby!” I stood, but only to fall into my husband’s arms. My legs had gone numb.

Nathaniel

I caught my wife swiftly, but the sea of bodies surrounding her reacted to catch her too. I was grateful towards them, but I also didn’t want any other man touching her. Married or not; especially the not. “Thank you everyone for being so kind towards my wife tonight.” I cradle the almost sleeping Katherine in my arms. “But I think we should take our leave. My wife is slowly drifting off. Anyone know how much she had to drink?”

“We don’t know how much, but she was only drinking that,” they pointed to the bottle of the juice wine (what Kathy called it) that she always drank way too much and would get tipsy.

I shook my head and wrapped Kathy in her jacket, draped her purse around my neck, and scooped up my now snuggling wife. Kathy nestled her head into my neck.

I nod to the surrounding men, and leave the hall with my greatest treasure.

“I love you, Nathaniel,” Kathy whispers into my neck in her adorable drunk voice.

“I love you too,” I kiss her as we continue our trek to the car.

Digital Art By: emily2jane
10-05-26

Interesting.

If you had to switch lives with a fictional character for a week, who would you choose?

I thought this question was going to be easy. But I’m actually struggling to pick a fictional character. Like ten years ago I probably would have had an answer. aim a different person now. But at this moment I’m at a loss. But I know for a non fictional person. A person from our past.

Non fictional. Truth: Any person who was around Jesus. Someone just in the crowds listening to His teachings, seeing His miracles, watching Him among the people. How amazing and awesome would that have been!?!

Fictional: I’m truly struggling to pick one. Because I’m happy with my life. And I don’t want to have anyone else’s life. I guess, I would say I could spend a week as a princess from the live action Cinderella, Belle, or Jasmine. But just for the clothes! Cinderella’s wedding dress was so beautiful. Belle’s yellow dress, classic. All of Jasmine’s clothes were beautiful. So maybe I’ll be a side character that sneaks into the princesses’ room and tries on their clothes. Haha!

But the idea to be among the people watching Jesus is more exciting! Life changing and life inspiring!

Have a Wonderful Sunday ❤️

Lyrics

I recently heard when trying to write a song, you write a very descriptive scene or memory. Every moment and emotion captured.

Meeting My Now Husband.

…

This girl I see looking back at me,

Just wants to meet the man,

That God made for her to understand.

I do my hair,

I glance another stare.

If he doesn’t like me,

I’m done searching this sea.

Instead I travel the distance,

I go the mile,

Wondering if he will smile.

No confidence, no pride;

Trying to take all the past rejections in stride.

.

-Chorus-

I hope and care,

But should I dare?

Will he truly care?

Is he the one for me?

Will I ever be happy?

All I want is love that is true,

Please God! Let him be my something new!

.

My eyes cast down,

Why do I frown?

My fear is tenfold,

What if he treats me cold?

Few minutes early,

Inside I scurry.

Will he like what he sees?

Or will he just leave?

My phone blares into the still air,

The screen glows and shows.

He is here.

He’s outside! He’s waiting.

I walked right by him and he’s staying.

I step outside into the bright sunshine.

There he stands before me,

Truly handsome as can be.

.

-chorus-

I might just dare,

To hope and care.

He stares at me,

With smiles and curiosity.

God can I understand,

That he is the man in Your plan?

In this moment I’m happy,

Can this feeling be true?

Has love approached me through someone new?

.

No lies or deception,

He must be the exception.

His voice engulfs and embraces,

Not usually the cases.

Hours pass, but still he stays with me.

Can I believe he is the one to my future we?

Sun has fallen,

Homeward bound is callin’,

He offers a ride,

God reassures me no need to hide.

He so genuine and kind;

Already seems to read my mind.

This man takes the lead,

Planting a love seed.

At my door we stop,

Worried that this bubble of love might pop,

What should I do?

A kiss is too much, but a hug might just be too new.

Silence lingers between us two.

He takes control!

Side hug for the win in this strange ending pull.

.

-chorus-

No longer a dare,

More of a confirming pair.

My smile just beams,

Excited for the rushing love streams.

This is the man,

That God had planned.

Love that is true,

Comes right on cue.

My love story is starting new.

…

I don’t know if this could actually become an actual song, but that worked so well. Breaking down a story does wonders. Even if it’s just a poem. It was way easier for me to write about a real memory. I used my true emotions I felt in that moment. Probably why it flowed so easily.

This was a lot of fun. I’ll definitely do this again.

.-.-.-.

What some people don’t know, is I always thought about becoming a singer. I loved and still love to sing. I had thoughts about going through this with a singing coach. And actually pursing this idea. It occasionally would creep into my life through the years. But sadly I was discouraged or mocked.

An early memory I have is when I was maybe nine or ten years old. A child. Someone who should be confident and not self conscious yet. I think I was in the backyard of my childhood house. And I was just singing. Singing songs I loved. Just having fun singing. And my dad I guess heard me and said something like, “Maybe you should just focus on swimming. Something you are actually good at. Something that can give you a future. Let’s stop now so that the neighbors don’t have to listen.” Harsh. So harsh. I wasn’t belting or anything, I was just quietly singing to myself we while playing outside. My Dad has always been cruel with his words. But at the time I listened, mostly because I was more embarrassed. Now I realize that if I had, had a different hobby other than swimming I might have ruined his pride plan. He took great pride in my swimming abilities.

Another time, I remember when I was maybe thirteen. I wrote a song (I don’t remember any of it. But I was singing in my grandparents house. I have never been, but definitely I was not confident enough back then to sing in front of anyone. So I was just messing around trying to discover my sound. And my uncle came into the room suddenly saying something like, “hopefully you are not thinking about pursuing this. You sound awful,” and he fully laughed at me. Like full on mocking. It hurt me so much and made me extra self conscious. Even more so than I already was.

There were other small times too. Singing my heart in church and maybe missing a note and being gawked at. Singing obviously badly in the car, and I think my sister thought I sang like that normally, because she would always take the singing chances and tell me she was doing it for me. Trying to play a Christmas song while singing and my younger brother laughing at me.

I must say, for the times with my siblings, I don’t think they meant to be come off mean. I think my sister truly thought she was protecting me, because she knew I was so shy. And I think my brother was just at the age where he must make fun of sister. Programming of a teenage brother.

And I don’t know if I could have sang. Because of the embarrassing past memories and discouraging moments. I don’t know if I could have sung publicly.

Like even now. I can’t sing in front of people. Like I would love to sing in church. Or sing in the car with my family. But I think I terrifies me. My kids hear me sing, my husband occasionally, but not fully. I think the only person I have ever sung in front of was my older brother. I think I was sixteen. I remember he was playing Desperado by the Eagles on the piano and I sang along with him. There was no judgement, only encouragement. It was really nice, but now thinking about it, I was probably still holding back. But that’s a good memory.

I think I could do it if I could be anonymous. Like wear a mask or something. Or not face the camera. I think I could do that.

All to say. Don’t be discouraged. If people you know are awful and cruel, and say awful and cruel things to you, ignore them. And if you want to pursue something go for it. Living in a state of wonder or regrets will always make you wonder “what if?”

On that note…

Have a wonderful Thursday ❤️

Digital Art By: emily2jane
“Side Hug“
09-39-2026

New Painting.

I’ve started a new painting. It’s my 7th one so far. Still waiting to hear from a different gallery. hopefully they say yes too.

This is just the mapping out part.

It looks like the sky is on fire at the moment. Haha 😂

I’ll share the finished painting when I’m done. The process of how it changes as I paint still amazes me.

Have a great Sunday ❤️

Saving

What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?

I know it’s not great to look back into your life and wish you could’ve done things differently. It just makes you frustrated. But I’ll think of it as things to teach my kids so that they start out better.

But saving. I wish I had started saving money earlier. I started working when I was thirteen. It wasn’t a crazy amount of money, but I never had savings. If I had started at that time, saving half and spending half I would have been better off. Because let’s be honest a kid wants to spend money. This money was my fun money. If I wanted to go see a movie, buy a movie, buy extra clothes, etc. Self explanatory; anything extra.

Thinking back, it wasn’t a huge amount of money back then. I only worked Wednesday and Friday. But still.

When I was eighteen/nineteen I also didn’t save. All my money went to food, clothes, or dvds. Instead of bringing a lunch I would buy lunch at school. I was constantly eating out on my off days. Almost every Friday I was going shopping for clothes. I didn’t have a life. I did school, swam, and shopped. But again I never had savings.

I think it was halfway through my nineteenth year that my mom suggested I start saving. Starting late is better than never starting. I wished I had saved more. Because the action of saving, kickstarted my need and desire to save. Maybe just having savings.

Because these last few years we haven’t been able to save. We’ve made some bad purchases. $500 there, $1k here. Not huge amounts of money, but still we could have just saved it instead.

So I’ve started a new saving way. Each week we take out $20 and I’m hiding it away. I only started this five weeks ago. But my thought process is we will have a large amount of money by Christmas time. So it won’t be a sudden “ouch”. It will be an “okay, this is not too bad”. Because we have a birthday before Christmas, Christmas, and a birthday after Christmas. So December is an expensive month. So if we have $340 dollars set aside it won’t be so difficult to buy gifts.

Just an easy way to save. If you do the $20 for 52 weeks that’s $1040. So by Christmas time we would have a large chunk ready. depending on your paychecks you can decide to set aside more. But at least do $20. Like if you start out doing $50. And then in June you want to go on a trip, switch to $20 a week. Then September comes and you can save more, you set aside $50 again. And then when it becomes November you discover a perfect gift so you set aside $75 a week until December’s third week. That is =$2300 roughly. Having $2300 set aside already makes all holiday expenses easier.

Sorry. Didn’t mean to rant. Just I feel better when I have savings.

So save. No matter the age. Whether you are an adult or teenager. Save! And you can do it in a bank account instead. Make a savings account that you don’t look at, just start setting aside money each week. Even if all you can save is $15. It’s still something. Something is more than nothing.

Have a Fun Friday!!

Word Of The Day 09-12-26 Minimalist

Synonyms: simple, unadorned, spartan, spare, unfussy, stark, etc.

…

The stand guard,

In the yard.

Anything that dares to come in,

Will die for their sun.

No extra care needed,

They won’t get heated.

They just go about their day,

Maybe munching on hay.

You may not see them,

They are a true gem.

If you listen, you will hear,

That loud hee-ha in your ear.

The donkey is near!

…

I really wanted to write about an animal when I first read the word of the day. Minimalist. I didn’t really use the word, but it was my inspiration.

To me donkeys are so low maintenance. When we eventually get some land, we are getting a donkey. They take less work than a dog or geese. And geese are mean. But the donkey is a good alarm, but also they will trample animals that dare to trespass. So I want one.

I don’t know its name yet. But when we eventually get one I’ll know its name.

Haha!

My husband’s suggestion today for the word minimalist was, survival and death. Or his second suggestion was stupidity…I think he’s in a grumpy mood. He just had surgery and he is not recovering as fast as he wanted to. But I decided to not go with his idea. I wanted a more positive topic today.

Have a great Saturday!! Fall is here!! 🍁 Pumpkin foods are soon approaching.

Hmmmm?

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Happy.

Haha!

But seriously, I know I’m going to be happy.

My husband and I have already worked through many trials: depression of moving from family, postpartum depression, sadness of wonder about having another kid, financial stress, moving, downsizing, in-law stress, etc. we’ve dealt with it all in our first 9 years of marriage. And through lots of communication and hard work we are still together and strong. And we are happy.

He is venturing off into a career. He wants to be an airplane pilot. And I’m being his rock. I’ll hold the fort down while he does the hard grind. But we are happy. We talk through everything. I’ve gotten better to just speak my mind. I’m trying really hard to not let things fester. Just talk about it from the get go. But we are happy now, and we will only continue to grow.

Have a happy weekend ❤️

Short Story #21

Jane

“Yeah. I feel like there might already be a child out there with that sales clerk. The wife wants a fifth child. So technically I’ve already reached that number right?” Laughter bellowed out the bar doors.

I stood there. Hand on handle. ‘So everything had been a lie? From the beginning? My deal breaker at the beginning of our relationship was I wanted us both to be a virgin. I never wanted to worry if my husband was thinking about someone else. Or would start to compare me to his first.” He assured me I was his first. And of course he was mine. Now it all comes to light. I wasn’t his first. There had been someone else. Was me wanting our family to have one more child really cause for mentioning someone I thought didn’t exist. Especially tonight, he was in talking to our friend group. We had asked them out to dinner. Because I wanted to share our, what I thought was happy news; I was pregnant with our fifth child.

I just found out this morning. I wanted to surprise Jasper with everyone but I couldn’t keep it a surprise. I blurted it out at breakfast. “I’m pregnant!!” Now I understand why I couldn’t really figure out his expression. He was shocked, happy, but something else, that at the time I didn’t know. It was disappointment. He was happy we were pregnant, but he had also wished for it not to happen. After our last daughter was born I asked if we could try for one more; so that we could try to give our son a brother. My husband at the time agreed to it willingly. And joked that he would try his best to make a boy, but that nothing could be chosen. I didn’t force it on him, I didn’t hang it over his head. I thought we both wanted it. I yanked open the door, I should find out what’s going on with him.

“Yeah. She was hot. I actually am following her again. Let me pull up her profile so you can see what I had early on!” He, without any remorse pulled his phone from his pocket and started scrolling.

I was now standing just inside the entrance. But their table was maybe fifteen feet away from where I stood. So I heard and saw it all. I heard his aroused tone, and saw his face. My heart twisted in a new way, hurt in such a way I had never known. He still looked at me that way. All these years. He still looked at me with desire and pleasure. How could he make that face for a woman he only sees online. He looked at me that way just before our baby was conceived. Had he been thinking about her?

‘No! Now the thoughts are happening. This is what I didn’t want. This is why being a virgin was so important to me. That I wouldn’t wonder if he settled for me back then, and every time he thought of her…’ That thought hurt more than anything. Did he ever love me? Was I just what he could get? Did he ever want our kids? Did he ever want me?…

“Jane! There you are!” My friend Gloria called out to me.

I wasn’t going to stay. I waved at Gloria. At the rest of the table. I started to back away.

Gloria rushed up to me, “Hey sweetie. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. What do you want to do?”

“I want to leave. I don’t want to be here anymore,” I glance at him. He was still glued to his screen. Almost drooling. It was a disgusting sight. “Please. I don’t want to see him.” I started to turn back to the door.

“Alright baby. Let’s go! Ladies! We are leaving if you want to come with us to my house.” Gloria held me in her arms to escort me out of the restaurant. I was glad for her help, because I don’t know if I could have walked on my own. All of the women at the table got up from their seats and made a mad dash to the door. A few of the husbands that had still been sitting at the table, instead of gawking at Jasper’s phone; they too stood to leave the restaurant.

I glanced over once again through the glass door showing my lustful husband; panting as he looked at her photos. My heart crumbled.

Jasper

“Dude? Dude!? Jasper!?” Marlene’s husband who had stayed at the table to chew Jasper out.

“What!?!” Jasper finally looked up from his phone. The other husbands too looked up from the screen. “Wait? Where is everyone? Why is it only you Jacobs?”

“Because you are…the worst of the worst. We are in public, or you would not be getting this treatment. Are you really enjoying looking at another woman that much? Really? Did you not think about how your wife would feel if she knew what you were doing?”

“What are you talking about, man? I showed her picture once, then after looking at her again I realized Jane is way hotter. That I’ve been stupid these last few days. I don’t know what made me even think of her. Probably one of those demons we just learned about in church, that their mission is to ruin marriages. As soon as I deleted her profile I asked God to cast the demon out. I feel better than I have these past five days. I’m here to tell you! Don’t let that kind of demon inside of you, they really do hit you hard and make you become a…butt of yourself. Public.” Jasper sat down at the table with the rest of the husbands. “We’ve been looking at the different foods they serve here. I’m starved and I thought this would help keep my hunger at bay. Why?”

Jacob was stunned by Jasper’s recant of what really happened. Here he had thought the worst of him. He was about to put him through the wringer. Jane… “Dude. You need to go find your wife. She heard you. She heard everything. She was here. That’s why everyone else is gone. They heard you too. They misunderstood just like I did. But dude. Jane looked broken. She looked…” Jacob whipped out his phone. Texting his wife Marlene to let her know the true story. “What are you still sitting there for? Go!”

“She heard me,” Jasper smashed his face into his hands. “She heard me?! What exactly did she hear?! Be specific!”

“All of it. She was just at the entrance door when you mentioned thinking you had a kid with that woman. Marlene knew Jane had heard, just based on her expression. Then she came inside, and heard you say that the other woman was hot, that you are following her, and if anyone wanted to see her pictures. They left pretty much after that. But dude. You did look possessed. At least when you went to look at her pictures. You looked hungry for it. If you had not said you felt possessed, I would have described you as such. But dude, you need to go explain to her. I’m guessing she thinks you have been cheating a while now. Or even…”

“Even the whole time,” Jasper said between his fingers. “At the beginning of our relationship; Jane told me it was important to her for us to be both virgins. That she didn’t want to be constantly worried that I was comparing her or thinking about someone else. She told me it was a deal breaker. But instead of telling the truth, and possibly losing her…I lied. I said I was a virgin even though I wasn’t. I slept with that other woman once. Once in college; long before I met Jane. It didn’t mean anything. I was stupid and wasted. I don’t remember anything. All my years with Jane have been brand new to me. I didn’t know you could love someone so much. I should have been honest. I just loved her already; I didn’t want to miss out on a wonderful life with a wonderful woman like Jane, because of a stupid mistake.”

“Then why did you even say what you did today? If you love her as much as you say you do; you would have known that your words would hurt her. Then why?”

“I don’t know why…maybe I’ve been nervous to be a dad again. Our four children are already a handful. But I love all our kids. And I love that they all came from Jane. I really have no explanation for my actions this past week.”

“What caused you to follow her initially?” Samuel had chimed in after sending a very quick text to his wife.

All three extra husbands sent out texts explaining what had happened. That they really had been drooling over food pictures. Not that they too were looking at other women, but as you can expect no one texted back. Except Marlene, but she said unless he came in person it was no use.

“I wanted to get Jane an excellent gift for being a mom again. I had asked my coworkers what they did, when they truly wanted to surprise their loved ones with a gift. A few men said they look through their wife’s instagram profile. So I tried that. I’ve never been on that sight. I had to download the app and everything, man that was a pistol. But it was really helpful. My wife had everything on there. All of her wishes for ease with our next child. It was amazing! I also had the thought it might be useful to keep this so that if our kids get it I can keep an eye on them. But then there on the list of friend suggestions she was. I don’t know why I even clicked on her. I don’t know what drew me to her. But then I went down the rabbit hole. And man! When you introduce spiraling to your life; you go down hard. These last few days I’ve been glued to my phone. I never messaged her, I just looked at pictures. I didn’t do anything either; I just looked. I think the Holy Spirt in me kept the demon from going farther. Which I am so thankful for, if I had acted on anything; I would never forgive myself. But Jacobs..” Jasper rose from his chair, walked over to a standing Jacob, and grabbed his shoulders, “can I save it?”

“I really don’t know. But Marlene says nothing is going to be heard unless you go apologize to Jane in person. That Jane has locked herself in the bathroom with the water running. That Marlene can hear her sobbing. Dude, you better go before she shuts you out completely.”

That was all Jasper needed; he left to find his wife.

Jane

I finally turned off the water. I forgot that I wasn’t in my own home. I’d give Gloria some money to help cover the water bill. But was that really important at this moment. No. My husband hasn’t loved me at all. Not honestly. But he has… Marlene had told me, through the door, that it was not as bad. That Jasper had only cheated mentally, but only for the last week. Nothing else. That her husband Jacob had told me about feeling possessed, and that he had switched to food a second after he looked at the woman’s picture once more. But did any of that matter? No. He has lied to me from the very beginning. He lied to me…tears were starting to well up again. But what was I going to do…I had never had a thought of divorcing Jasper. That in church we had recently learned that divorce should never be brought up in a fight or be an option. That you should try everything possible first. Counseling? That’s an option. But would I be able to forgive him? This was why I wanted…”

“Jane! Honey. Opened the door!” Jasper was banging on the bathroom door. “Answer me please! At least unlock the door. You are pregnant with our baby! Please, at least unlock the door, so that I can help if you need me. Please!”

‘Jasper!’ My heart reacted before my brain could stop me. I wanted to hug him, but I stopped. Not that I didn’t want to forgive him, but that I needed to know from him personally that he was sorry. “I’ll unlock it,” my voice croaked out, “but you can’t come in.” I whined as I got up from the ground.

“Are you okay? I won’t come in. I’ll send Marlene in if you need help. But please be safe!”

“No. I’m fine. But no coming in.” I unlocked the bathroom door. I wanted to fling the door open to him. But his face from earlier. His words. He wanted that woman. How was I supposed to move past this? This is everything I worried about. This lie made my heart crumble, and I don’t know if he could tape it back together. We are bringing a life into the world. We have our other four little ones. We have had an amazing life together. But can I…?”

“I won’t come in. I promise. I also promise Jane that I’m so sorry. It all started out innocently. I went on instagram to buy you all your wish items. The demon must have latched onto me the moment I saw her profile; and I’m ashamed to say that I clicked on it. I’m so disgusted with myself. But the lustful demon had weaseled itself around me after that. I’m not excusing my actions. But I want you to know, it’s only been these last five days and I’ve only had thoughts; I swear to you! Nothing more happened. Please. Can we do counseling, and find a group to work through this. I’ll do anything! I just don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry I lied at the beginning. I should have told you the truth. That I was lost at that point in my life, I was wasted, that she meant nothing to me. That I had forgotten about her until you told me your deal breaker. That I wasn’t a virgin when we met; but that I already was totally in love with you and I was terrified I would lose you. Jane I’m so sorry. Please forgive me!” Jasper was just outside the door.

I loved him. I still did, I’m still hurt. And angry, but I knew I still loved him. I’m so thankful that God was looking out for him. That he had not gone farther. Farther would have been hard to forgive. Coincidentally enough we just learned in church last week that it’s possible to forgive, but hard and long.

But I love him…

I stood by the door. I could hear Jasper quietly sobbing outside the door. The door was the only divider.

I love him…

I cracked the door open and looked at the man that had hurt me. He was right beside the door, leaning against the wall with his forearm over his eyes. I could see the tears spilling down his face.

I loved him. Even with the hurt. I loved him.

I gradually inched out of the bathroom. I faced him. ‘What do I do? What will I say? What will he say?’ I softly touch his elbow.

He jumped at my touch. He fell to the floor startled.

Before I knew what was happening, he was embracing me. He was cradling my head in his hand. He was still silently crying into my shoulder. But his arms told me he wasn’t letting go.

“Jasper. Jasper. Jasper!” I pushed away from his embrace.

He had let me go, but his hands were reaching out to me still. Not knowing what to do with them, when empty. His hands dropped to his side and his head fell, “I’m so sorry Jane. Please forgive me. Let’s do counseling, a life group, anything. I willing to do anything to gain your trust back.”

The man I loved and love stood before me as someone who I had never seen. A broken man. Not confident. Vulnerable. Fearing.

I walked to him and hugged him. His arms were still at his sides, but this was a reassurance hug for him. “I’ve not forgiven you yet, and it will take a while for my heart to heal and try to trust you again. But I’m willing to work with you to solve this problem. I,” I hesitated a second, “I love you, Jasper. But it’s going to take time to heal.” His crying had turned to shudders, so I pulled away from him.

But Jasper clasped my arms and pulled me back into a hug. He was shaking; worried that I was leaving again.

I didn’t say anything. Instead I just stood in his arms.

This road to recovery will be hard and long. But I’m going to do it. For the sake of my marriage, my kids, and this new beautiful life we are bringing into the world.

The End

Easy!

What’s the best and worst airport you’ve been to?

I’ve not been to many airports. But the worst and the best have stood out.

The lesser airport has been Denver airport. For some reason whenever we would get a lay over at Denver, there would be some odd characters around. Odd characters that did not understand personal space or inside voices. Haha 😂 It’s not so much the airport, but the occasional characters. Like the woman who NEEDED! to show her hula hoop dance to anyone who came near her. Or the man who was crudely and passionately yelling at a pillar for about forty minutes. The prayer or dance or sharing circles that would start off quiet but eventually would become an unusual sight to behold. A man who stood against a window with his arms out and his hands gripping nothing; staring at you as you walked by, and occasionally would bark at people if they got too close.

Believe me. I wondered if any of these characters were staged, but this was before everything was recorded and put online. Like a woman who would fart, horrendous farts, and then look around glaring at people because she thought they were the cause of the smell. Her husband was the best part though. Every time she would fart, he would cover his face with his hand and begin to shake because he was hiding his laughter. Thankfully we were not sitting next to that couple.

On the other hand, my favorite airport is Cheyenne, WY airport. I don’t know if it’s different now, but that was the smallest airport I can remember. They had one security line. And the guard for it was asleep when we walked up. He did compliment my socks; he said, “they were rad!”

And the gate to wait at, was just around the corner, and it was one of those temporary office buildings. Only one gate. Haha!

I want to visit Cheyenne again. Even if just to go experience the airport again. That was about ten years ago; it’s probably different now.

Enjoy your Tuesday! It truly is a beautiful day!

Finished Another!

“Blossoms”
Painted By: emily2jane
20×24”
09-1-26

I just finished another painting! And I actually have found a gallery that is willing to sell some of my smaller paintings. I’ll keep searching for a gallery that will accept larger scaled paintings.

So excited! I was talking with my husband about this, and he said I’ve been trying to get my paintings in a gallery for the last 10 years, but life kept happening. Being pregnant, moving, pregnant, moving, pregnant, moving, etc. Haha! Do you see a pattern?? But finally a dream of mine for the last twenty years, but truly ten years is finally being realized!

If you can’t tell I’m excited!

Have a great Friday!

1st day of my new painting.

Started another painting. Did the mapping out yesterday…I’ll post it when it is finished. I’m excited for this one too!