Journey With Cookbooks #26

I’ve been on vacation. Blog posts were put on the back burner to fully enjoy my time off.

But…Another Pinterest recipe with a repetitive recipe. Onion rings and orange chicken.

Since I was already going to be frying the chicken, I decided to make some onion rings. The hubby has been craving onion rings for a while now.

The picture for the recipe on Pinterest.

I had high hopes for them. Since I’m picky about onion rings too.

The recipe called for 2-3 onions.

I didn’t realize how much that would make…I cut up way too many. And I used sweet onions. It’s the bag that was opened in the cabinet.

Flour mixture
Egg and milk mixture.
Panko crumb mixture.

Why does it always want to auto correct panko to Pablo…very annoying.

So many things.

Yes. There is chocolate cake there too. The hubby wanted something chocolate at work the other day so I made some cake.

The rice has begun.

Don’t forget that the real dinner is orange chicken…

The chicken is cubed.

That’s only three chicken breast. I decided to do three so that there would be leftovers for the hubby’s next shifts.

I don’t know if I have stated this before…

But my sister gave me this thermometer for my birthday. This is my forever one!

The chicken has been tossed once.

The chicken will have to wait until the onion rings are done. I guess the onion rings are more of an appetizer to the orange chicken. Weird mix…

See this cutting board?

I turned to do something quickly. As I turned back to the cutting board I saw my baby climbing up towards it! I yelled for the hubby, and baby got startled and ran away. Better than her mess with raw chicken.

This is already: dip onions in flour mixture, smother in egg mixture, another flour dusting, and now the second dipping of egg mixture.

A rather sticky process but it is looking delicious!

Now the panko coating.
The frying.

The oil was heated to 350. It only took about 2min to completely cook the onion rings. They came out golden brown and crispy.

I had called the hubby that the first batch was done…

He devoured most of these onion rings. Haha! He said I’ve ruined another food for him. He will no longer be able to eat onion rings out. Mwahahahaha!

Before the last two rounds are done…these lonely two onion rings are left.

The hubby did feed my a couple bites as he eat the onion rings. I’m amazed…He shared his food. Haha

Chicken time!
The chicken takes more time so I have moments to eat the onion rings.

I don’t think I am going to be hungry for the orange chicken…

Oh so crispy.

The oil was already filled with burnt panko crumbs from the onion rings. So occasionally as I pulled the chicken out I would get some burnt crumbs. Just some extra flavor!

About half my normal amount of orange chicken.

I wish onion rings could be a meal!

The green beans must have been freezer burnt. None of us ate our greens. They were nasty.

More dishes.

It seemed never ending. But I decided to wait until after dinner to do the dishes. The hubby and baby would go watch a movie; while I do the dishes and listen to my book.

But first cake. Cake is always comes first. Yummy!!

Look like photo: 10! They look identical to the picture. Crispy golden brown!

Taste: 10! The onion rings are awesome!! If I could rate it 1,000 I would!!!

Easiness: 9! I think because of the stickiness it is more difficult than fries, but the time quantity is way shorter than fries.

Overall… a definite yes to the recipe! Will try again soon. Maybe tomorrow! Also the cake gets a 10!

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 18

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 17


‘I have no words. I…’I have so many emotions cascading over me that I don’t know which I should latch onto.’ Excited, that it is true Jenny liked me. Sadness, what Jenny must have experienced as my dad…MY DAD! said for her to hide away her feelings; similar to what he is telling me currently. Anger, knowing that I could
have been with Jenny all those months before leaving. Annoyance, at Dad for keeping this from me these last two years. The pain…Jenny must have felt these last two years all alone. I wasn’t there for her. I was gone, and knew nothing. Yes. My swimming has become a success but, how…? ‘As I said before, I have no idea how I should be feeling.’ “Dad? How could you keep all of this from me?”

Dad broke. He collapsed into his own tears.

‘Dad!?!’ I opened the glove box and pulled out a wad of napkins.

Frantically he accepted them. “I…thank you George,” Dad collected himself once again.

But this time I could feel the guilt and sadness exuding frim his posture. “Dad?”

“I regret what I told her that day. I know that it was the best thing for your swimming. I aksed her as a caring father. But after what she went through; I have never forgiven myself. The day Brown called me asking for help, to send her to Europe I was confused. I knew about the rumor but I always assumed nothing could break Jenny. She was strong,” Dad gazed out the window. “But seeing her that day, an empty shell, I knew I had done wrong. I told her to close her heart, and that day, her heart was turned off completely.”


“Her art piece on the wall was vibrant and expressive. I knew it was her piece, but anyone else who would have seen the blank expression, hollow shell of person next to it would have denied that she was indeed the artist. I…I did all I could to make her trip and life in Europe comfortable; I think it was my way trying to fix what I broke.”

‘No words.’

Silence filled the truck. The only noise was Jeremy’s continous breathing. I glanced at the time and the half an hour was gone. We needed to leave. “Dad…”

He didn’t move.

“I forgive you. And it is not your fault about Jenny,” I placed a hand on his shoulder closest to me, and I felt his body begin to shake once more. “Dad?”

“It’s tears of relief. I…have been dreading this day, but also anticipating it. I…thank you so much George,” and he broke down again.

I fished out more napkins. “You good? I have to wake up the dead one,” I thumbed to the backseat.

“Go ahead,” Dad blew his nose and recomposed himself. “I’m good. But I won’t be taking you inside this time. Goodbye Son,” Dad leaned across the arm rest and gave me an awkward hug.

I still accepted that hug, “Bye Dad. Be careful on the way home.” I reached back and smacked Jeremy in the stomache, “Look alive! You’ve got to move!”

Jeremy shot up into a sitting position, “Ouch! I’m up, I’m up.”

I lauged and quickly grabbed my backpack and hopped out. I heard Jeremy thank Dad for the ride and he too got out. “Bye Dad,” I waved into the back window. Dad returned
the wave and pulled away from the curb.

‘It still stings. But I understand it…’

‘Jenny.’ She was sitting on the front porch swing with her mom. I knew it was her, even though her back was to me. Her red hair shimmered everytime her head popped back
into the sunlight. Coach had picked us up from the small airport; there was no way for us to rent a car. On the drive over Coach explained that Jenny was doing better, but that we were not to mention what happened unless she was the one to bring it up. Jeremy was worried since he was the so called start of the rumor; he was worried he would set her off just by being there. Jeremy of course did not voice these concerns to Coach; instead I read them all over his face, as Coach drove us to this home. It was the vaction apartment that Dad, other mom, and I used to come to during winter vacations. ‘Back when our family was actually happy…so like when I was eight years old.’

Coach walked past Jeremy and I and approached Jenny and Mrs. Brown on the porch. He leaned over and kissed both Jenny and his wife on the tops of their heads. He quietly comunicated to them; I thought he was telling them about our presence, but instead he looked into the front door and shook his head.

Jeremy and I were approaching slowly; we seemed to be in limbo. ‘Do we come. Do we wait? Are we going to live out here?’ Coach glaced back towards us and tilted his head up motioning to us to come.

Jenny’s head must have noticed her Stepdad’s quick movement, because just as we were approaching the porch her head turn towards Jeremy and myself.

Those green eyes caught my gaze; ‘Those beautiful green eyes.’ Her gaze shifted to my left. ‘Oh, right. Jeremy is here too.’ I was going to glance at Jeremy, but my eyes were glue to Jenny’s face. I could see surprise and shock initally in her expression; but then almost a second I thought I saw hatered, but it was gone and her
expression now read sadness. This is not the Jenny I remember; her spark was gone. ‘What did I do to this girl?’ I realized that Jeremy and myself had not moved; so I pulled Jeremy along with me as we came to the first step.

“We good to set our stuff down,” I asked Coach, who was standing in the doorway still gazing at Jenny.

“Sure. Come on in,” Coach threw the front door open and headed up the stairs.

Jeremy followed Coach quickly up the stairs; wanting to escape the stares of silence.

I paused only sightly, I returned my gaze back to…those green eyes; they were once again looking at me. ‘Jenny.’ I wanted to talk to her, but I wanted to find the perfect timing. I nodded to both Jenny and her mom, and then followed Jeremy inside. ‘I’ll find the time.’

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 17

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 16


My plan had been: to head home, grab a travel bag, and start driving up to them; but Dad stopped me.

“I’ll buy the tickets. Fly instead. So that you will have time to talk, but also time to get back,” Dad pulled out his phone to purchase the flights. “Do you want to leave now?”

I looked at Jeremy and he just nodded. “Yes, now.”

“I’ll book it. Go shower and then I’ll drive you both there,” Dad left the room, to probably use his laptop.

I didn’t move at first. ‘Jenny.’ “Go shower in the guest bedroom, Jeremy,” I dashed to the stairs to use my own bedroom’s shower.

“Jeremy,” Dad suddenly said on our way to the airport.

“Yes, Mr. Matthews?”

“Can you put in some ear buds. I need to discuss something with George,” Dad was focusing on driving but I could see a look of concern in his expression.

“Of course. I need a nap, anyways, after that practice. Dude,” Jeremy swatted at my arm before sprawling out on the back seat, “wake me when we are close,” and Jeremy was out.

‘What does Dad want?’ “What’s up Dad?”

Silence. Then Dad sighed, “I understand your confusion from yesterday. Finding out you have pretty much been living as a zombie, and also finding out about Jenny…” Dad paused. “But I need you to hide those feelings for this trip.”

It took me a minute to register what Dad just said. ‘Hide?’ “What are you talking about. This is the whole reason I’m going on this trip. The whole reason I am acting like a crazy person on a mission. What do you mean by hide?”

Dad pulled to the right, all the way to the slow lane, “Son…Jenny is still broken…”


“Brown called and told me that she was home, but that she was still hurt. He descirbed her as faking a smile. She is smiling, but he could still see the pain…” Dad grabbed the back of his neck. “I hope she will listen to Jeremy’s apology and hopefully it will help her to move past it; it was already a pistol to get Brown to understand that Jeremy is not to be blamed. That just his name was used to start the fire, and that he had no knowledge of this happening.”

‘I get it. Jenny needs to heal before her heart can accept anyone…’ “I understand. I’ll just be there to be the barrier between her and Jeremy. I don’t need Jeremy exploding at her if she triggers him.” ‘I understood, but I wanted an answer.’ “Dad…did you know that Jenny liked me? Did you ever suspect it?” We were pulling off
the highway. We were maybe fifteen minutes from LAX. ‘Big question to ask in fifteen minutes, idiot.’


‘Yeah?’ “Yeah, what? Yeah she likes me? Yeah you suspected it? What!?!”

“I knew she liked you,” Dad’s body seemed to slump. “I told her not to persue her feelings. It was that day I drove her home. You offered to do the dishes and I took the chance to talk to her.”

Shock. Disappointment. Anger. Everything I thought I would never feel for my old man came rushing forward. “HOW COULD…”

“Let me finish,” Dad pulled into the parking garage across from our terminal.

I glanced at the clock and we had arrived about thirty minutes early. “Talk.”

-Sophmore Year (Before Qualyfing Champs)-

“Thanks for the ride Mr. Matthews. I would have asked George for a ride, but he seemed quite determined to finish those dishes,” Jenny chuckled as she buckled her seat belt.

“No problem at all, Jenny,” Dad too buckled up and started towards her house. ‘How do I bring this up?’ Dad glanced at Jenny who was smiling while looking out the window.


“Yes,” Jenny’s head turned back, her expression was innocent.

“Do you have feelings for my son?” ‘Point blank is always the best option,’ Dad thought to himself.

…”I…uh…” Jenny’s face went flush, her complextion almost mimicked her hair color. “I…”

“Don’t worry. This is not an unhappy father. Whatever your answer you will always be my daughter in my heart,” was the truth.

Jenny turned back to the window, “I do. I…I love George.”

“Love!?! I asked if you liked my son, not if you loved him,” Dad exclaimed suddeny making Jenny jump out of her skin. “Sorry. But I think you are a little too young to know if you love someone.”

“I…I…” Jenny started to tear up, “I thought you would be happy?”

‘Great.’ “I am happy. Over the moon to be exact, but I am also conflicted,” Dad pulled into her driveway. “Wait a moment Jenny,” stopping Jenny from exiting the truck. “I am happy you like George. I hope your feelings can continue in the future, but also after this request. Know that it is a favor from a loving father,” I looked at
Jenny who seemed nervous about my request.

“Favor?” She inquired but I stopped her.

“I need you… to keep your feelings… to yourself,” the last words stung Dad as he said them. ‘How could I ask such a thing. Of a girl I saw as my own daughter.’

Jenny was shocked. Stunned. She didn’t answer. Didn’t move. She just stared at me, mouth gaped open, in shock. “Keep it to myself,” she was confused. “How is that even

“George’s life is at a critcal stage right now. He has poured everything into his swimming. He has changed drastically after his mom’s and I’s divorce. He seems to be hiding his pain from that by becoming an emotionless zombie. I know you have seen it,” Dad dug some tissues out of his door, because tears were starting to stream down her face.

Jenny accepted the tissues and wiped away her stained cheeks.

All the color was gone in her face; Dad could feel her defeat. “I just want my son to thrive in his goals. His dreams. I…I’m sorry for interferring in your feelings.” I…‘I don’t know how to explain how I felt in that moment.’

“I understand,” Jenny cleared her throat and whispered out those words. “I want him to thrive as well…” Jenny wiped away her last tear. “If that means I need to just
be a friend to him and motivate him to his goals…I can do that,” Jenny faced Dad once again, the color and radiance began to glisten from her. “My feelings won’t falter. I will be your daughter at some point in the future; just you wait,” Jenny giggled as she gathered up her belongings and quickly exited the truck.

“I’ll be looking forward to that day, Jenny,” Dad yelled from his window. Jenny turned and waved before she entered her house. ‘I pray to God, that her feelings will stay strong. God, watch over her.’

Presents For My Family

I am the worst about giving gifts. As you know for my brother I painted that red umbrella painting for him. And his girlfriend an impression of a Leonid Afremov painting…

Well I finished all the other ones for my family. Originally they were supposed to be Christmas gifts…but I don’t know if I can wait that long. It’s been almost a week and I can’t handle it.

So I might just make them another gift for Christmas. I really want to make my nephews some custom shirts. Throughout their childhood I’ve drawn shirts for them. When they were younger it was different Disney characters. Now since they are older I will do my own creation. I already have all the fabric paint. I just need to make the stencils.

So I might just make one for each of my siblings too! I think that will be fun. Haha!

Mostly because I want them to open their paintings now! NOW!

Here they are!

Impression of Online Art

This is for my sister and brother-in-law.

Purple Memories

This is for my older sister.

Glacier National Park

This is for my older brother. My hubby wanted to steal it…

This painting is 100% mine. I took the photo and now I’m painting it. Amazing to know that this beautiful scenery is still untouched!

Hope your day is filled with color! 🎨

A Gift Made Through Words

:-:-:-:-A Poem, for you two-:-:-:-:

Light tomorrow,

With what you do today!

Love can be displayed.

Let him feel useful;

Even if,

You could do it better.

“Can you bring me a sweater?”

There will be moments,

When it is better to remain silent,

Over being right.

But always solve it before night.

Don’t forget,

Be goofy sometimes.

Filled with puns and rhymes.

When asking a spouse,

Don’t demand, say,

Hey, do you want to do something for me?”

Better results,

This way!

Communicate with each other.

One day’s trouble,

Will hang over to the next,

Until resolved.

But only with the parties involved.

Don’t go to sleep…mad.

Or morning will come,

And you’ll wish you had.

Life is long,

Don’t stress,

You won’t remember it in a year.

All bad fights disappear.

Don’t sweat the little things,

It’s almost all small stuff.

Just let go of your gruff.

You are both fearfully and wonderfully made.

Remember that,

When you are sick and stink.

Your love won’t shrink.

Have fun together and be silly.

Laughter is key, really!

Make time for each other,

Be as geeky as possible.

Live like Ron Stoppable.

Periodically review and check your relationship,

Communication, does your bodies good.


Never eat shredded wheat,

Unless you really like it.

Good advice,

I must admit.

This poem is rather long… My sister is renewing her vows. Because of COVID she was unable to have the grand big wedding last year. Anyways, I was in charge of games at the bridal shower; One of the games I chose was more sentimental than anything.

I had the guests write one piece of wisdom for my sister on an index card. Then I proceeded to make a poem out of them, for her, that I would frame.

I actually really enjoyed this! I want to do this again for various occasions. Birthday wishes, miss you cards, maybe song requests…I don’t know. But it was a lot of fun.

The italicized lines are my addition to help the poem flow. If it seems quirky and a little funky…it is because it’s not just my words. It’s thirteen other people too.

Just a fun thing to give to the bride as she begins her new chapter of life. ❤️

The complete gift.

Enjoy your weekend! 🌸

Word Of The Day: Tribulation 09-15-21

Synonyms: misfortune, grief, misery, woe, distress, worry, blow, etc.


As we know it…

Is over.

Lava cascades down,

Fires blaze,

Panic is here.

Piercing with a knife.

Bodies in a fit.

Can you feel lower?

Chaos all around,

Where is the exit,

Of this life maze?


Help me please,

In search of ease.

This poem could be anything…it could be some big event or even the smallest. For me I thought of my two year old when she behaves like the world is ending. Being two is so hard…

I’m currently on vacation. So I’ve been really bad about posting. I’ve just been enjoying time with family. Currently, for me, life is peaceful. Some stress here and there, but pretty much easy.

One more week of this and I’m good. I’m good! ☺️

Enjoy your Friday! 🌷

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 16

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 15


‘Really? Was I really like that?’ I glanced at the four faces around me, “was I like that during sophmore year?”

Nobody talked at first. But then Jerry cleared his throat. “Yeah, Dude. How you responded to the situation, to Jenny, you became emotionless. You laughed, and smiled, but it never seemed like you actually meant it. Like you were just doing the actions required to be a living human.”

“Yeah. I thought you would break at some point,” Ken interjected; “I thought you would either emotionally crash or explode.”

Matthew nodded in agreement.

‘Really? I thought I was doing just fine. I was swimming my best, I always had a good mood, my sleep was not a problem; I don’t see what they see.’

“You are probably saying to yourself…”I’m fine. I don’t see what they see.” Am I right?” Jeremy asked.

I head shot up looking at Jeremy. ‘How did he…’

“Based on your expression, I am right again,” Jeremy read me like a book. “That is why I brought it up. Because I knew you would have kept living the same. Believe me. I only said something because I was concerned.”

“I was too,” a voice came from behind us.

I turned and there stood Dad, bowl in hand.

Dad sighed. He walked away and continued to the kitchen.

I could hear him rinsing his bowl. ‘Is he just going to leave after saying that?’

Dad came back into view and he continued until he was sitting in the chair across from me on the left, oposite of Jeremy. “I knew something was wrong. I didn’t realize the culprit was Jenny, but I knew you were fighting some mental battle. Or at least trying to cover something up.”


“Son. You were positive everyday. You were a sixteen-year old boy; you should have been…what’s the word I’m looking for?” Dad pondered.

“Gloomy,” Ken said.

“Obnoxious?” Matthew added.

“Ansty…?” Jeremy said.

“Maybe all of those rolled into one. But you weren’t; you were upbeat and almost peppy,” Dad raked his fingers through his long hair. “I didn’t connect the dots that Jenny was the missing factor. I should have because you began to change after that situation. Personally, I thought it was that your mom, biological one,” Dad corrected himself, “might have left you a mental scar.”

‘She did; but it was mended with Mom.’ “Only my true mom has been the perfect healing for me.” ‘Now that Dad was the one saying these things I had to think back. Was it really true?’

“I will say though,” Dad pulled me out of my spiraling mental black hole, “going away has probably been the best thing for you. You have grown so much; physically but also in maturity,” Dad stood and walked over to my seat. “I am one proud Dad,” he squeezed my shoulder.

‘Thanks Dad.’ “I guess I will start to work on my robotic state. I thought I was doing just fine, but seeing all of you, and you dad, being concerned is a big eye opener,” as I glanced around.

“Don’t change too much. Just be more aware of your’s and other’s emotions. I’ve got to get back to the studio,” Dad straightened himself out and started to walk away.

“Dad,” I called to him before he was completely gone.

He stopped and turned back to me, “Yeah, Son?”

“Thanks. I’m mean for…” trying to put a label on it, “…everything.”

“No problem. You have a great group of friends here. Hold on to them,” and Dad disapeared around the corner.

‘Yeah I do, don’t I?’

It is Wednesday. A few days have passed since I found out I have been a robot. ‘I will say, I have noticed what they were talking about occasionally; but I don’t think it as sever as they were saying.’ But I am picking up on other’s emotions; at least I should say I pick up on them now.

We will be leaving Friday. I’m am bummed I won’t have another weekend with the guys, but my future is calling. Between their crazy schedules, the guys have been
coming to swim with us occasionally. Jerry works part-time at Dominos; sweet gig as the deliverer. Matthew has been vertually tutoring any moment he can find. Since, his altercation at school, his parents have cut him off of fun money. Ken, on the other hand, has a full time job. He is currently working as a paid intern at my dad’s label. He actually gets to help my dad a lot if he gets the chance. It doesn’t really surprise me; Ken has always been a people person.

So Jeremy and I are the two weridos that have never had a job and will continue to not have one through college. We will not have the time for it. ‘It feels weird. My friends are moving on in their lives and I feel like I am glued to my current position. I know I’m moving forward, but it just seems stopped sometimes.’ The hard
work it takes to make it as an athlete is unimaginable. I still amaze myself, at how much my body can take before it breaks.

“What’s your plan for the rest of today,” Jeremy had his towel draped over his head as he packed up his gear.

“Nothing much. Probably just going home and chilling with Mom and Dad. Why? Did you want to do something?” I too was drying my hair with a towel.

Jeremy didn’t speak at first…”Your dad told me this morning that Jenny is visiting her parents until Friday.”

I dropped my towel. ‘What? Jenny.’ I looked at Jeremy. He just nodded and I knew he was being serious.

“I wanted to drive up and apologize to her,” Jeremy looked away, “for my past mistake and all the fake crap she had experienced.” He looked back up at me, “Even if she won’t hear me out, I need to do this for my own inner peace. Are you coming with me?”

“When do you want to leave?” I shoved my gear in the bag and grabbed my keys.

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 15

Life Of Two Best Friends: College CHPT 14


“Wow…I wish I could find my old buds and shove my so called legacy down their throats. I can’t believe they used my name to ruin her life like that. I can’t imagine what she must think of me. At least…” Jeremy paused to take another bite, “for me, nobody new about my grief. I could cover it up; yes, not in the best ways
sometimes,” Jeremy said before Jerry could say his wise remark. “But at least I could still function and live in my home town. I don’t know if I will be able to go home, or even be out on the streets,” Jermey looked down into his bowl of a melted chocolate mess.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Ken slapped Jeremy on the back almost causing him to spill his bowl, “since it was just a rumor that spread; there was never a picture or description of you. No one will know it was you unless you go, “I’m the guy they used to create this horrible rumor that ruined a poor girl’s life.” Ken laughed
for a second, and then probably thought about what he just said. “Sorry about that.”

“Yeah. And now Jenny is in Europe. I don’t know if there will even be a chance to apologize to her,” Jeremy got up and took his bowl to the kitchen.

“About that. Dad said she might try and make it? Do you think she actually will come back?” I asked as I too took my bowl to the sink. As I came back to the living room, I came face to face with the reality. ‘Jenny was probably never going to come back. Probably not until the nonsense is gone or resolved.’ “Oh.”

“Yeah. There was talk about her visiting Coach and her mom for a couple days, but I don’t know if she would take the time to come down here,” Ken looked up at me. “Especially if she has somewhat moved past it; it would be awful if she came back and it stirred up again.”

“Yeah. When I came back I was slapped across the face with all this news, and I was unable to do anything for her,” Jerry said as he stared into his hands. “I felt like we abandoned her when she deperately needed us. Then I was unable to do anything for her because she was gone. Then when I found out you were the source of the issue,” Jerry looked up at Jermey. “I mean the fake source,” Jerry corrected himself before Ken could jump down his throat, “I couldn’t understand how you never said anything about it. You knew about George and Jenny’s relationship. You were playing off the innocent person perfectly. I thought you had ruined Jenny’s life and then
were manipulating George. I apologize again; I really thought the worst of you.”

“Hearing everything now, I can understand. It’s not cool, but I can understand,” Jeremy nodded but shook his head at the same time.

Everyone was done with their ice cream, so there was no longer any absence noise. It was silent.

“Can I ask a question?” Jeremy raised his hand like this was a classroom.

“Of course, Student Jeremy. What’s with the hand,” Jerry busted out into laughter.

We all followed pursuit, “Oh. Shut it,” Jermey tried to slack off the embarrassment. “Can I ask now?”

We all stopped laughing and waited…

Jeremy perched his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, “Why didn’t you date her? Jenny. She was totally into you. Anyone could see it.”


‘Great. I should have know this was going to be brought up.’

Still silence…

“Is anyone going to answer the question? Why did it become like a ghost town in here?” Jeremy looked from Matthew to Jerry, to Ken, and then ended on me.

I couldn’t look him in the eye. I didn’t realize this still bugged me. ‘Let me be honest; at least in my head…I still like her. Feelings never seem to go away unless you give yourself closure. I never got that; so my feelings just seem to be bubbling and burning in my gut.’


“Dude. Just tell him or I will,” Jerry called me out. “We have heard all of his baggage, why can’t he know some of yours?”

‘That was the truth. Why am hiding? being a coward. Liking someone is not something to be ashamed of. You idiot.’ I looked up the guys around me. “I tried. I got shot down before I could even confess to her.”

“Really?” Jeremy was shocked. “Did she actually say the words, “I see you as a friend.”

“No,” I stopped to think back on that night; not a night I really wanted to relive. Especially now as I realize my feelings for Jenny are not at all as a sister. “But we were talking about the whole situation and we were about to discuss the part of me “confessing” to stop John, and before I could say anyting she stopped me.”

Jeremy wasn’t saying anything. He seemed to be zoning out.

‘Probaly trying to think…haha.’ “What?” still, my tone was annoyed.

Jeremy came out of his glazed over stare, “I don’t have much experience with girls, but,” Jeremy waited until he got my full attention, “unless she said the words, “I see you as a friend” it is not indefinate. And I am telling you, she is into you. How do you three not see it?” Jeremy called out the guys; who had been just sitting and listening to the conversation. Probably because they knew this was a sore subject for me.

“The only experience we have is from George and Jenny’s moments, and when Jerry attempts to get a date,” Matthew dodged Jerry’s aggressive slug, “and Ken’s various inputs
from the chick flicks he watches,” Matthew laughed at Jeremy’s expression after he said Ken’s input.

Jeremy looked at Ken like he no longer knew the person in front of him.

“What? My mom said I wouldn’t understand what a girl is thinking if I didn’t have some knowledge. I’ll admit though,” Ken chuckled, “some of them are really quite hilarious.”

Jeremy still seemed confused at his new best friend’s choice in movies. “Okay whatever you need to do to understand them,” still questioning Ken’s decision. Then Jermey turned his attention back to George, “I am not lying to you, and I am never wrong about this. You should try again if you get the chance,” Jeremy crossed his arms behind his head and relaxed into the recliner.

“What’s the point,” Jerry sat up, “he sees her like a sister now. He has moved past his feelings.”

“Has he?” Jeremy turned and looked at me dead on.

I could feel his gaze. ‘There is no way he knows. I never talked about this these last two years. Because these last two years she has been my sister. But now I’m discovering I was naive and I couldn’t just cover it up.’ I looked up to meet Jeremy’s gaze. The gaze was fine, but the all knowing smirk was
abnoxious. “What?”

“Yeah. He probably just said that to move on; there is no way he would give up a stare with me if he was being honest. This one,” Jeremy thumbed at me, “never gives in
to anybody. Own up to it George,” Jeremy leaned back, “You still totally dig her as a girl.”

‘Nothing. I had nothing to say because I didn’t want to admit to what Jeremy said. Because he was right. This was not something I needed in my life at the moment.’ I was going to focus on swimming and start my career before finding someone. And to me that someone always had to be someone other than Jenny. Because in my brain Jenny was labeled as unattainable. “Why? Why did you have to do this to me?” I shoved my face into my hands.

“What?” Jerry, Matthew, and Ken all shouted at once. Jeremey was still smiling as he leaned back in his recliner; relishing in his victory of being right.

“I had moved past it. I was seeing her as a sister. My feelings were coming back, being back here,” I snapped my head up and glared at Jeremy. “I was doing a good job at keeping them at bay, but no…you had say she likes me and my heart blazed alive at the hope. Why?”

“Dude? I thought you had moved past it?” Matthew asked breaking the silence, while I continued to glare at Jeremy. “You told us to never bring it up…” Ken and Jerry both nodded
in aggreement.

“I did. Or at least I tried. After being regected or whatever happened,” I silenced Jeremy with a no nonsense stare, “I needed to mend myself. So seeing her a sister was the only way to move past it. I really thought I had. Honestly… My feelings were gone; or at least manipulated into something else. It wasn’t until I came back here,” I gestured to the house. It had been two years of not hearing her name, not seeing her face, or not having anything to do with her; but the
moment I stepped in the house and Dad said that Jenny would try to make, my heart got excited. Then he said it was a long shot and my heart sank. She still had complete control over me…” I ran my fingers through my hair. ‘I’m frustrated. I have not missed this feeling.’ “You happy now?” I almost yelled at Jeremy, but kept the tone controlled.

“Yes. Actually I am,” Jeremy leaned back towards me, smile gone. “You have been an emotionaless robot these last two years. Something was going to go terribly wrong if
you didn’t start to feel things. You were going to become an empty shell. Proably to the point that swimming would become meaningless. So you can hate me all you want, but I did this for you. I want to see you make it all the way. But to do that you need to feel emotions.”


Newest Painting

Since I’ve been on a roll I’ve decided to start my brother’s girlfriend’s present.

She, like me, loves Leonid Afremov’s artworks. So again I did an impression of one of his works. Not too difficult since I already like to paint in this style.

This is the original I’m going after.

I think that oil paints would work better, but since my two year old has control over me…I will be using acrylic paint. Also my canvas board is 8×10…I think.

Place my colors.

I did sketch it out…somewhat. I figured out the direction of the path…and where the light posts would be. Also the tree.

Pretty basic

Slowly becoming something.

If I hadn’t had put the light posts,..I probably would have just gone with my layout and painted something completely different. But nope. I’ll do that next time!

My colors are not as vibrant as the original. I might use some yellow oil paint to bring that brightness to it.

I love painting with the globs of paint technique.

It is one of my favorite ways. I really want to try it on a bigger scale and do the “dot” technique, but still with this similar way. I think that would be fun.

Painting again is getting my creative juices flowing!! I’m having a million ideas a minute…!!

Done for day one.

The first picture was taken at 12:57pm. And the last picture was taken at 2:57pm! This only took me two hours. Which keep in mind. That was a few potty breaks for the baby, and occasionally getting her food to consume. (I have to feed my baby; even if my mind is elsewhere.)

But I’ll post my finished painting separate or on this post. Whichever happens first.

Well it seems like it will be h to us post!


I think I personally liked it better before…but I’m doing an impression of someone else’s work…I still like it. It just seems less me. Which happens when you paint other’s works; you notice differences.

I’m starting my sister’s painting present next. I might bring a twist to the original though, maybe take the concept but the execution will be all me!

Have a wonderful Tuesday! 🌷

(I think what is making me not like the finished painting is the lighting I used to take the photo…) That must be it….let me take another one…


Yep now that’s better. I like it again!

The Misunderstood

He painted them,

Greens, browns, and reds;

As if a gem,

Meant to cheer,

But multiply instead.

They crawl on the ground,

Blend surroundings.


They possess wings.

Taking flight,

Leaping into the air.

Without a care,

That they will create a scare.

Poor misunderstood,

Wishing to be beautiful;

Only seen with fear.

Desires to be good,

Instead panic is suitable.

Come hop here,

To appear.

The grasshopper. I know it seems ridiculous to fear grasshoppers, but you see them flying and you think, “what an interesting looking moth.”

Nope! Not a moth! And when you least expect it, they charge your face.

I live where you step in your lawn and it seems like the grass comes alive and creates wave motions.

But every time I’ve seen one I always think they are the misunderstood insect. I’ve actually had this idea, for this poem, for months now.

Enjoy your Sunday! Try and find another one of God’s creations that is misunderstood. It’s actually quite fun.