The First Thing…

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

Of course, when I read the prompt my mind went blank. Before opening up the app my mind was spinning….

‘What will today’s prompt be? Memories, school from the past, poem?’ But no when it came down to the prompt. “First thing that comes to mind.” Nothing. Even as I sat on the couch and straining to come up with something….my husband thought I was having an issue. Haha 😂

As I am writing, I am trying to come up with something. But I’m sitting in the living room, on the couch, feeding my son. My daughter is sitting at her small art table in a corner drawing thank you pictures. (Her friend just gave her some socks.) My husband is eating his breakfast at the table telling me about the various things that are happening in his friends lives.

And I am trying to think of something, while listening to all the voices.

I guess that would be my thing. Voices. I seem to be someone who can either sit in complete utter silence otherwise, I have to be enveloped by noise. Coming from a larger family it was never quiet. But now that we live states away my household can be quiet occasionally. On those days, where the hubby is out tinkering in the shop, my daughter is using her imagination to play with her figurines in her doll house, and my son is happily playing with a measuring cup and bowl; I have to turn on some music to fill the void.

But voices…I can often hear my mom’s voice when I’m pondering my options. God’s voice when I’m conflicted or worried. Husband’s voice when I’m doing something that he would give me the look of, “Really?” My own thoughts too; often when I’m trying to do several things at once. My siblings voices when certain topics come up in conversation; I can hear them chiming in as if they were actually there.

Voices. They all are a great comfort to me. Because I know no matter what, I am loved.

A picture just came to mind. Let me try and draw it. My son is currently asleep on my arm as I’m writing this post. Don’t know how my digital drawing will be.

Digital Art: “Stillness Within”
By: emily2jane
04-22-23

Even if it’s everything is happening at once…there can still be stillness.

Have a wonderful day.

Word Of The Day: Flounder 04-13-23

Synonyms: flounder, struggle, squirm, wriggle, splash, stumble, blunder, etc.

.-.-.-.

Morning.

My eyes only flutter open,

When I hear the door creak.

She’s awake.

.-.-.

Brother lies still beside me,

Finally resting peacefully.

The night was a struggle.

.-.-.

Breakfast.

My essences left my body.

I stand hollow and empty.

Yelling and chattering,

Never end with these two.

.-.

Food is out.

Why such a battle.

I squirmed and wriggled,

To get one meal done.

Please nap time come.

.-.-.

Afternoon.

Chaos is constant.

Never a moment of peace.

Questions spewing, toys flying, emotions rising.

Will it ever be done?

.-.-.

Bedtime.

Screams of protest.

Anger developing.

Stumbles, fumbles, thrash, splash.

Silence follows all those blunders.

.-.-.

Silence.

Regrets and upsets,

Fill my brain.

Retrace your steps,

To learn again.

Sleep.

.-.-.

Morning.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Being a mama is tough. One child is different than two. Especially when your first child is intelligent and stubborn. She is determined to do it her way. He way or the highway. Except that doesn’t work when it’s supposed to be my way.

Little man is so mellow compared to her. He is smart too, noticeably for his age. My life will be interesting; calm way to put it.

But I struggle. I don’t know what I’m doing. I try my best and always some part of the day seems to be….Blarghbaaaaaaaaaa!!! If you couldn’t tell, that was me having a meltdown.

And I know it will continue to be difficult if we continue to add to our family. But hopefully I can find that flow…a current of productive moments.

I do have those moments. And I need to try and focus on the happy sweet moments of the day at bedtime. It’s difficult. But I know they probably outnumber the bad moments.

To all young moms out there. You are doing a great job. And all grandma’s now, you did amazing job raising your kids. Because they decided to continue the line of family. Your kids feel comfortable and confident enough to raise kids on their own.

Thank you to my mom!❤️

“After A Storm” Digital Art
By: emily2jane
04-13-23

I will starting to paint soon. And some of the art from my blog will finally be on canvases!! I’m excited to get my art out into the world. 🎊

The word of the day today might be a negative word. But it helps show you the good in life. Like the picture above. Always after something bad, the good will come into focus, and shine in your life. Have a wonderful day ❤️