Category Archives: My Story

A Story: Part 11

A Story: Part 10

Warmth…always warmth comes when I drift into my dreamland. This time however, my body lays upon a heated, hard stoned surface; the large stones dig into my spine sending currents of pain through my body.

“This is new. It’s not the normal beach.” mumbling to myself, more curious if my voice would work.

Opening my eyes, cobbles tones arch above me, under me, and behind me. I lay in a window, overlooking the stunning beach. The vast ocean stretches as far as my eyes can see. The wind echoes through the stronghold building attached to the window, tosses up my hair, and travels towards the sea. It intertwines with the palms, stirring up a rustling song in their branches. The sun is still high enough to catch my skin. I am leagues away from the coast. The sea looks like a giant puddle, stilled but vibrant. This time I am wearing a boat-necked dress. It hangs perfectly off my shoulders, the bodice fitted snugly, and the skirt flowing down to the dark hard ground. The gown is orange, like Liam’s eyes.

“Liam?” a squeak leaves my throat. I look around hoping I am alone and no one heard my embarrassing outburst. But yes, my dress begins at vibrant red and trickles downwards into oranges and yellows; I am walking sunset.

A slight chill surges through me; the smallest hairs on my legs spring to life causing static with the fabric. I need more warmth. Looking down there lies Danny’s blanket. The worn comforting brown material folded perfectly next to the window. As I lift the fabric and open it for a welcoming embrace, the wind swiftly takes it up and sends it soaring out the window towards the sea.

“No! Danny…” the next moments were a blur, but I find myself dashing through the palm trees after the blanket. The wind stops suddenly and the blanket drops to the sand inches from being completely submerged in the ocean break. Bending over I see the dress. It is no longer beautiful, it looks to be an old, moldy rag. The lovely sunset colors are no longer there. The reminisce of Liam is no longer evident. I stand disheveled and small. My hands shaking in fear, but grasping the half wet blanket.

The sun has set and the wind is bitter. The blanket, I desperately wished to protect, can do nothing for me now. I am alone again on this beach…

“David? Are you there?” I whisper into the void.

Even if he kills me, I can’t be alone anymore. My dreams are depressing and heartbreaking. At least with David I can have a chance to see someone.

“DAVID!! I know you are out there. You never would leave me. David!” I scream into the void. I don’t care anymore; I can’t be alone. “David!?!”

Only silence. Bitter awful silence. I fall to the freezing sand and sob into the drenched brown blanket. I’m alone…I’m alone…alone…

A Story: Part 10

A Story: Part 9

Sun…the brightest sun yet pierces my eyelids. The beach again; I had wished I might dream about the forest. Strange…I know that day was reality and not a dream; I can feel the stabbing splinters in my knees from the mulch. Also, I have had many dreams of the sky and I have never imagined it so blue. There were small hints pink, purple, and yellow hues hinted through the sky. The soft white clouds seemed to float aimlessly through the breeze without a care. It was peaceful; it was adventure. Instead, I know I am back on that stupid nightmare beach; again, probably to be tortured by my mind, David, or both.

Blaring heat surges through my body, and I press my body deeper into the cloth beneath me; it must be Danny’s.  “Danny…” tears whirl up inside me as I think about that little boy who didn’t know there was a reality beyond that evil red door. He never experienced the sky, birds, or sounds of peace. He lives inside me, but never free…just like me.

Far off steps come towards me; slow and softly, trying to sneak towards me. “David…” my body tightens and I grip the material beneath me and my palms begin sweating. They said my neck was from someone powerful; could David be this powerful? “Is that why he lives in my brain, but still lingers in the foreground never surrendering?” The pain and worry stir my head into chaos.

The steps keep coming, and I can no longer take the suspense. My eye open and I lunge up and prepare…

“David…” his mangled but strong body comes towards me. He looks to be alive but dead in all senses. He looks strong though in this ugly state. And he continues towards me not faltering or stumbling this time, but slow and steady towards his prey.

“David? What do you want?” my body is wavering, so I dig my feet deeper into the sand. That will hold me for a while. “David!?!”

He is about ten feet away and he stops. His dead eyes travel up to mine and they stare deep inside me. His arms tense and he bring his hands up level with my neck and his hands tense into talons. Then he continues towards me.

My mind is blurring and my limbs are wavering, but I hold my ground. “David! Stop. Talk to me.”

He stops. His eyes flicker a moment before continuing his march…

“David?” this human who has tried to kill me several times, and been the cause of other’s deaths…I step towards him.

He stops suddenly and his face contorts to an expression of…fear. He steps back once too, to regain his balance. His eyes spark life and they search my face. His body is tense and looks to be in a state of fight or flight.

“David?” I keep moving towards him. Small enough steps to keep a distance just in case, but I continue to close the gap. “David…” what was that…The smallest of tears ran down his face before he whisked it away from my sight.  “David?” and I extend my palm towards him.

He stands stilled in his tensed perch; he looks to be at war with himself. I am only a few steps away and I can hear the raspy whisper of his breath. I can see the blood and mud smeared skin. I can smell the many smells he has been covered with. “How long has he been like this? Is this what it is like in my dreams for the many essences in my mind…? Danny…?” my mind beginning to fog.

My palm touches David’s jawline, and he face is cold and rough. He looks old and worn this close, and his eyes show a hint of sadness. There is a track in the mud upon his face where the tear scurried down. My face inches from his…his body begins to shake…either fear or…

“David? Speak to me…” I say in the softest voice, not wanting to scare or change his mood.

“J…J…Jan…”

“JANE!” an invisible hand grasps my shoulder and pulls me back into reality.

My eyes open instantly and I am back in that dampened tree trunk room. A pair of hands still shaking my shoulders to awaken me.

“Stop it!” and I shove the hands away without thinking.

The body falls of the bed, and onto the floor.

A thud is all I hear. “David?” I think before anything else…why did I have to come back now…

“Are you all right?” the voice, from the body still sitting on the floor asks.

The voice brings me back into reality, the voice…Liam.

I swing my body towards his form and produce my chest over the ledge of the bed, just above him. He sits there collapsed on the floor, head down with his long locks cascading around his face.

Liam… “Umm…uh…”

His head jolts up and his eyes look directly into mine, like he can see through me. His hair falls down around his neck and he sits there without noise looking at me.

Without know why I fling my body back away from him, his eyes seemed to pierce my soul. No one has ever look as intently and focused at me before. It made my chest well up inside, but also with a mixed in feeling of fear.  I sit holding my knees frantically in the middle of the bed, trying to calm myself.

Liam’s body moves, and he stands before me. His body towers next to me, and it seems like if he were to extend a little more he would hit his head on the ceiling. He stands there awkwardly a moment before sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.

Every movement he makes I notice…the way his hand places itself within inches of my foot to brace his body. How as he releases a long breath his back slumps and relaxes ever so slightly. How when he breaths his hair flutters from his breath. How his eyes search my face then the room, before focusing again on me.

“Liam…” I say and his eyes jump to mine, his eyes alive and excited. But more like and excited fear.

“I didn’t know if you would remember or not,” his voice is different from before, deeper but more like a whisper.

Silence fills this little room. Even with another person to gain so much more info I feel like I can and cannot trust him. I want to know more, but I do not want to be lied to by him. “Liam? Why did you pull me out of my dreams?” The only thing I can think of to ask…

His face changes slightly, “Sorry for the harsh awakening. I tried to wake you but you didn’t respond and I was worried you were gone. The only way I could think of was to wake you was with force. Are you alright?”

So he didn’t wake me because of my dream, but because I did not wake. Strange it seemed like he was pulling me out of my dream by force to end it. Realizing I hadn’t answered him, “I am fine, I just wanted to finish my dream…” never knew I would ever say that about my nightmare beach…

“Was it a good dream? I am sorry to take you out of your peace.” His eyes clouded with sadness.

“It was an interesting one. Just an experience I wanted to know how it would end…but it’s fine, really.” Trying to end this conversation, because I don’t want to have to lie to him about anymore dreams.

Silence again creeps into the room. I feel content with the silence, because I don’t want to start another conversation and Liam seems to be a war with his mind. Instead, I watch his eyes change. They go from a sadness, to excitement, to fear, to determination, to nothing in seconds. His eyes are still the beautiful orange color. With every different emotion the ablaze in his eyes liquefies and switches to another. They seem to dance and spark with his emotions. His body lets out another breath and his eyes focus again on mine.

However, my eyes were already staring into his so when his eyes meet mine they show excitement and a hint of fear at once, making the flames sparkle. We sit there in silence pouring into each other’s eyes. Trying to discern anything without speaking.

“Jane…” he says…

“Liam…what are you doing?” a voice enters the atmosphere and our bodies tense. Liam turns to face to voice, as he does his body reveals the small girl from before standing in the door frame. She is holding a bowl of water and a towel over her arm. A small whiff of honey and peaches seeps into the room.

“Penny…” Liam says without thought…and he sharply turns towards me. The small girl of honey and peaches, drops the bowl, sloshing the water all over the ground, and the bowl clatters unbroken. Liam’s body is over me. His eyes dance with fear. “Jane…you must not say you know her name. Please, don’t call her by name!”

The voice of the old man comes into the room as Liam pulls his body away from mine. The old man is just that an old man. But his body suggest much pain and war, but it also shows his strong nature and stubbornness. His arms and legs are scarred and beaten. But he still looks strong enough to kill if need be. “Child are you alright?” he asks the small fragile girl, as she stand carelessly stilled and frozen with fear.

She cannot or will not answer him. The man’s eyes travel from hers, to Liam’s, to mine. His eyes are dark blue, with a hint of brown. But mostly darkness produces from his eyes, and they tear into mine in search of a reason.  I look away, because I don’t want him to know anything about me, I don’t trust his eyes.

Liam is the first to speak, “I am sorry for the commotion. She,” gesturing to Penny, “did not expect me to be in here. She was startled by my presence and so she dropped the bowl.”

Liam said that quite effectively and without wavering. He is an excellent liar…The old man seemed to buy the story and his body relaxed a small amount. His eyes still lingered over my body and I could feel his glare barring down into me. However, he turned back to Penny.

She was not a good liar, her body was still shaking with fear and she seemed to be about to burst into tears…

“So, who are you?” my voice breaks before her sobs do. Liam’s body stiffens and Penny’s face contorts to fear, but it silences her sobs.

The old man turns back to me, and I prepare my eyes for his intensive gaze. His eyes drill into me; his expression telling me I will not know this answer. He steps towards me and the room seems to shrink in size. He is larger than he looked and as he came forward his body straighten to almost match Liam’s height. Liam still stands beside my bed, but his body tries to stay firm in this man’s way; however, as the old man nears Liam moves to give way to the man’s destination.

I feel so small on this bed, as the old man towers over me. Liam is no longer able to be seen around this massive body, and Penny is silent. The man hesitates slightly before racing out a hand to clasp my shoulder.

All my strength is gone, but I can feel everything. A whirling fire soars through my body. It’s like a current of pain reaching ever crevasse of my figure. It feels like a snake is slithering through my veins in search of something. I lose all sense of sight and I fall into darkness, but I am still conscious. My essence falls into my subconscious and, “What…?”

There in my mind stands an apparition of the old man. He is wandering into my thoughts searching for something. “How is this possible?” I think to myself hoping he is not able to hear my thoughts. Every step the man takes I can feel. I can feel his eyes drill into my memories. However, I close off the tunnel to my dreams. Those are mine. I stand from afar watching him. He aimlessly wanders, but he is determined…

“This must be strange for you?”

“That voice… David,” and David’s body metalizes beside me. I feel fear, anger, and sadness towards him. “How…why…?”

He just looks at me, and I know he won’t answer. “How do you like someone else wandering inside your brain who is alive still?”

True. All the lives inside my brain are there because I put them there, this man is here because he put himself here. “David,”

He doesn’t acknowledge me, but he does smile a wicked smile in the old man’s direction. Without moving David vanishes and appears behind the old man.

“DON’T!” My voice cuts across to the old man and he vanishes before David’s hands clasp his throat. All around me is fading and all I see is David’s body bowing towards me like, he is commending his action for me in some way. Again darkness fills my mind and I lay alone in blackness.

“What happened?” Liam’s voice enters the void. “Are you alright?”

A scuffle and noises come too as my eyesight returns. There in the chair next to bed is the old man. But he looks smaller and fragile; he looks to be fifty years older. Liam is next to him trying to revive him. Penny is across the room getting more water. She returns to place a wet cloth on his forehead and she mumbles something and the old man surrenders to the cold water. His body relaxes and sinks into the chair.

I am flat on my back laying on the bed. I lift my head to see better, and Liam sees my movement. He quickly moves to my side and whispers in my ear, his breath warm, “lay quietly, do not stir until we move him…I will come back.” He lifts his head and his eyes find mine; he is telling the truth. I close my eyes and lay stilled upon the bed. But my eyes stay sharp listening to my surroundings.

“Come quickly!” Liam calls out and feet shuffle down the stairs and many new bodies enter the room. “Take him to his own room,” Liam says, as his body slowly moves out of the room.

I feel alone again. Grunts and winces sound next to me as I can sense many men lift the old man to carry him from the room. I lay as perfectly still as possible.  But before the forms move away one says, “She is beautiful.” I wonder to whom he was speaking…

The bodies carefully leave the room and climb the stairs; I hear them until they are too far and I am again left in silence. I am unsure if I am alone so I stay laying, eyes closed, and alone in this room until Liam returns.

I hear a shuffle of steps across the room, but without knowing who I lay stilled and frozen.  I am terrified, because I don’t want to die. Steps continue towards me and a hand places itself caringly over my mouth. My eyes open and there is Liam, suppressing my mouth to tell me to be quiet. His eyes are glazed over; I cannot read his feelings. He removes the hand and he collapses onto the bed again beside me. This time, however, his body hunches over and he rests his head between his knees to slow his breathing. I resituate myself into a more upright position so I can witness everything. My head swirls slightly. Penny comes through the doorway with another bowl and she carries it to table beside me. She places one wet towel on Liam’s neck, and then she sponges way my sweat from my brow and chest. She sits there in silence eyes cast downward wiping away. Liam’s breathing slows and his backs cracks releasing tension, but stays hunched over.

Penny drapes a new wet cloth over his neck and he sighs deeply. She seems better than before but her baby blue eyes seem sad and vacant. No one says anything, and it seems like they will not. I try to sit content that they came back but I cannot. My emotions will not let me, and my boil begins to boil. “What happened just now?”

My question cuts through the moment of peace and stillness. I feel like I just poked the belly of the beast. Liam’s back lifts and sits up straight; holding a breathing, stretching his muscles, and then releasing it his body slumps once again before turning to me. Penny seems to bow out and she leaves the room. Liam’s eyes are vibrant once again, but filled with fear and anger.

I cannot discern if the emotions are directed for me of at me. He looks straight into my eyes and his flame seems to ooze into my soul. He stares down into me, and I feel my body pulling away, but before I can his hands clasp my shoulders and pull me towards him. I am inches from his face and his breath soaks into my flesh…

“What did you just do?” Liam says point blank at me, furiously.

“What!?!…” I about to speak…

Liam’s hands grip tighter and he shoves me against the bed frame, and my back digs into the metal bars. He is strong, stronger than I imagined. I cannot move. His face inches from mine. His lips move, but I hear nothing. Penny is next to us and she is mouthing something. Liam falls away from me, and my mind fogs. Penny handles my body back onto the bed. I drift away into darkness with a lingering smell of honey and peaches.

A Story: Part 9

A Story: Part 8

“You can’t put all your faith into this girl!”

A voice harshly says with a slight squeak bringing me up out of my dreamless state. The voice is the same from my other dream. The voice that told the blue haze to wait. That was a strange dream I had; I think I prefer the beach scenes, but without David. My new dreams seem like I am watching a television show, and I am the new staring character.

“You don’t trust anyone. It seems like you want our home to be just that, our home.”

That was the blue haze voice. Don’t they know that I am here, and I could be possibly listening to their conversation. Either they are just stupid to be talking near me, or they want me to hear. I don’t mind, this way I can discover more about my surroundings. Keep talking voices…the voices continued…

The older voice, “I just want you to be guarded around her; she is a wild card. You saw the marks on her neck didn’t you?”

A small scuffle noise interrupted the stillness, it was the sound as if someone awkwardly changed positions.

“You did.” The old voice again, “She did not have those when I found her. I was not the monster to give them to her.”

It seemed like he was convincing himself more than the blue haze. I wonder…

“I know you did not give them to her. They appeared as Amy was healing her. They grew darker by the second. Whomever gave those to her is powerful…”

David…David is powerful? But he is locked away in my subconscious…why is my mind swirling…

I must have made a noise; because the voices stopped and their bodies moved as if to end the conversation. Bothersome…I wanted to know more. But I don’t know if my mind can take it; it is swirling in circles not ready to stop anytime soon. Sleep and actual dreams are calling to me.

Like as if the dreams could talk, “Leave the show behind. Come and see your imagination come to life.”

That scared me more than to just stay in this alternate reality…but I slept.

Sun beams burning softly into my skin…the beach…

This time my eyes flutter open and again my body is expanded over Danny’s blanket. The dark brown material has soaked up so much sun, that I must have been here for hours. My hand crawls towards the sand, and the small rocks waterfall through my expanded fingers toppling onto themselves again. The wind blows the waterfall sand into new places, giving the tiny grains a new adventure. That’s what I want. A new beginning. I want all these voices to be gone. I want my mind to live in reality. I want the small flower, at the moment stilled, to disappear. I want anything and everything to be my choice.

Bracing my body, I prop up onto my elbows and glance out at my surroundings. Yes, I am on that beach, and yes, I am alone. Strange…being alone is almost my most calming sense. The wind stirs into my hair; the long curls swirl blocking my eye line; I smell honey and peach vapors. The wind abruptly stops and my hair falls off my face.

“No…” David stands before me.

“No, you are not real. You only exist in my head. You’re not real!” I scream at him, confused, scared, and agitated all at once. This beach is no longer my beautiful escape, it is my deadly nightmare.

David does not say anything, but he drunkenly wanders towards me. Tripping himself and stumbling every few steps. His eyes say nothing, but his hands say everything. His hands are the only things that look alive; they are stiff and angered. His fingers like talons coming to capture my neck as its prey.

My body is limp, even the flower is still. But David’s form just continues towards me, never faltering his stare. I feel glued to the blanket. My hands and feet immovable. There is no noise except David’s crunching steps beneath his feet; I can hear my whimpers break the silence. Only my voice works…

“HELP ME!!” I scream into the void. Nothing happens, and David continues his approach. “HELP ME!!”

A shadow leaps over me, and my mind surges back into reality.

“Calm yourself,” the sweet voice from before.

I can’t do as she asks, and she needs to stop saying this to me; it just annoys me more. My body is a flamed and a ringing noise splits into my skull. “Why won’t it stop? Why can’t I just die? Make it stop!!”

“Calm yourse…”

“SHUT UP!” I scream out not knowing the voice or who it belongs to. “SHUT UP!” My body keeps flinging about, wanting to be ripped apart and put out of misery. “END ME, PLEASE…MAKE the pain stop…” and with that a small soothing electrical current soars through my blood, easing it back into a calm state. The amount of care I feel in my body allows me to open my eyes and I see the face hovering beside me.

A pair of soft baby blue eyes look back at me, “Is that better?”

The eyes belong to a girl; a small girl, but probably my age. Her voice is sweet like honey and her breath smells of peaches. Her skin radiates like the sun warming my own skin without even touching me. She has a small flower drawn into the side of her face; almost entrapping her eye to stay where it is. Her smile is kind, and inviting. I feel calm and at ease next to her. My flower begins to pulse, and hers changes color.

“Are you calm?” she asks in the most beautiful voice I have ever heard.

“Yes.” I answer without hesitation. My eyes trust her…strange…

“Would you like to sit up?” she maneuvers the pillows beneath me, without waiting for a response, to make it possible for me.

I don’t know if I will be able to support myself to do as she wants. I brace my arms to hold my body, and I can. My body feels light, the lightest it has ever felt. I can easily lift my body and brace my back against the pillow. My head swirls ever so slightly before resting into simplicity.

My surroundings are new; completely different than the house of screams. There is still a hint of cedar in the air, and the smoke from before must have come from the fire on the opposite side of the room. There are cupboards, shelves with books, a small table with two chairs, the bed I am upon, and the chair with the small girl beside me. “Where am I?”

The blue eyes shift from my gaze, ever so slightly, before returning. Her eyes are vibrant, but now have a sense of fear. “You are…”

“Don’t answer. You were about to lie to me, so I won’t believe you even if you answer.” Eyes don’t lie.

Her face contorts into a sad and angry expression. She is hurt by my outburst, but she is still fighting with herself, trying to discern if she can trust me. The problem with me is when my trust is broken, it can take a long while until I trust the person again. Which is why I stopped her from saying anything, because I feel like I want to trust her in the future.

I can hear voices above me, and voices echoing around me, but there is no other life seen. “What’s your name?” If she lies to me about this, I will know if I can trust that where I am is safe.

Again the blue eyes drift from my face. She looks to the opposite side of the room, and I see the doorway hidden from view. Her face is at war with herself. She does not answer me, but as she turns her head back to me she does not make eye contact. She only says, “Would you like some water? You look thirsty.” She moves away to a small sink to get me water.

“Can I move? Can I get up” I ask myself in my head…can I run? I don’t know any of these answers, but I do know I can’t trust where I am. I look off to where the girl with blue eyes is and she is still filing the cup. My body is tingling and I feel a new current soar through my veins…determination. I don’t know how but I swipe the covers back, and lunge for the doorway.

“No… come back,” the blue eyed girl’s sweet voice calls to me, with a hint of desperation in her voice, mixed with fear.

I can’t. I need answers, but more than that, I need to be free. Through the doorway leads to stairs. It seems to spiral upwards, and seems like forever, but the pulsing flower surges with heat and urges me on. Each step I take I feel better and better; stronger and stronger; like I have been newly made. Last couple steps…and there is a big red door. Exactly the same as the home I was in before. The same as that hallway of screams had that would lead to reality. The same that made me who I am…

I take the knob and shove it open…

Light. Air. And chirping. Sight, smell, and sounds I have not heard except in dreams. Surrounding me are trees of many kinds. The air is sweet and fresh. The chirping noises are from birds perched on branches or birds soaring through the blue sky…the sky. It seems bigger now than it was in my dreams. It seems to extend upwards forever, and continue on even though I can’t see it. A breeze picks up around me sending a beautiful chill down my back. I know it is real because of the new sensation I am feeling. I almost forget why I am here…then…

“Jane. I need you to come back inside.”

The voice comes from behind me, I can’t see the face, but I know the voice. It belongs to the blue haze. I don’t move. I want to stay in this world forever; I want this place to be my new adventure like the sand. I want to see this habitation more, and if I go back inside I might never see it again.

“Jane…”

The voice is pleading so softly that I know something must be wrong…I turn towards the voice and I see him. He is nothing what I expected. His body looks tortured, his arms are sagging with weakness, his hair is so long it almost covers his eyes…his eyes are vibrant orange. But not just orange, they are almost like a fire ablaze captured in a small space.  Only his eyes seem to be strong. He is closer to me than I thought. I can hear his breathing, and I can see the years on pain in his limbs.

“Jane…please…” his eyes show fear, care, confusion. He turns and stretches his arm out towards the door. This side of the door is brown. It has been constructed into the trunk of the large tree. “You have to go first.”

How do I trust him, how can I trust any of them? I trust his eyes; they seem to telling the truth. My body does not move; not only because it is afraid, but also I have lost all energy. I step towards him, but my feet falter and I collapse to the ground. My knees dig into the mulch below me stabbing into my flesh. My body feels heavy and I know I will not be going back willingly, but unconsciously. But before that I need to know…

I look up, and the blue haze’s body is towering over me. But as my face turned up, his eyes are right above mine. He has kneeled beside me, next to the place I collapsed. I can feel his breath on my cheek. I can see right into his eyes and deeper into his soul. This is my chance…” What’s your name?”

His eyes don’t turn away; he continues to stare back into mine. His eyes stay strong, “Liam.” Without hesitation, and without flickering in his eyes; this my first truth. His eyes didn’t lie. My body collapsed into his embrace. His body stiffens suddenly, but I feel at ease. My mind is drifting, but I feel safe for the first time. “Liam…” I try to say, but then I am gone.

A Story: Part 8

A Story: Part 7

Warmth…I feel warmth…I must be back on that beach. If I were to open my eyes, something would go wrong or David will reappear. So, instead I will lay here and soak up the sun in the contained subconscious of my brain.

“Does this feel better?” a voice enters my concentration.

“Mhmm…” is all I muster soaking in the warmth as much as possible. My body feels as if it is soaking up the heat and hiding it under my skin. My insides are bubbling with a frantic surge of energy. I feel alive and refreshed.

“Can I move down to your neck?” again the sweet voices say, as a damp cloth moves to my neck. It burns.

“Yes…” wait, what? Someone is on the beach with me. If I open my eyes, the person will probably try to kill me, but if I don’t I might die not knowing who did finally finished me.

“What’s wrong? Does this not feel good? You have a strange face, like you are in pain.” The voice says.

But there is a hint of care in their voice. But ears are deceiving and can lie to you. Only eyes tell the truth…My body shakes with anticipation and fright.

“Calm down!”

My insides are on fire, but my limbs do not move. I feel like a contained chaos. Like if something were to puncture my stomach I would implode within myself and disappear.

“Calm Down! You need to calm yourself…”

My blood is boiling and twisting in my veins. My heart beat surpasses it limit. My wrist is aflame and the small flower feels like it is ripping itself off of my flesh. I grasp the material beneath me, wanting pour all the heat I have been collecting into its particles.

“I need help in here!” the voice changes to a frantic and worried tone.

I hear footsteps chasing towards me. But they sound far from me. I need to escape. I need to be cooled. I need…water…The ocean. It must be close, considering this is the beach that wants to keep me. I need to move off the blanket and across the sand. “Move body, move!” I command my insides to go…but my will of mind is not sufficient.

“Stay down…HURRY!”

Move…Move…move…my arms feel lighter, and wrist is burning. My flesh feels like it is melting off my bones. The flower is now a steady pulse. It is calling to me. It controls me… My arms move. My right arm searches for my left wrist. I moves too quickly and I jab my side. Pain. Too much pain. The flower pulse quickens…

Voices surround me. Arms and hands brush against my body. A pair of cold strong hands clasp my right arm holding me back.

Eyes still closed… but, “No!” I scream into the void of my brain. But I can also hear myself. My body must now be responding. I pull against his strength. Trying to reach my other arm that seems paralyzed by the heat.

“Hold her down. Don’t let her move!” a new voice speaks right over my head. I can feel their breath against my cheek.

My head is clouding and I cannot distinct the gender of this voice; but it is calm even in this chaos. “But I need…it burns…” I speak to whomever will listen. I can’t stand the darkness anymore. I need to see what is happening to me. Even if I die from imploding…I need to see the truth.

“Hold her steady. I want to try something.” The voice of the strong hands says as their coldness leaves my arm. And this presence leaves my side, but I can feel it lingering.

Open eyes…in Three…Two…I am free; my arm is free. I can reach. Frantically searching for my left towards the pulse. It quickens as my mind and body desires it. Searching. I touch my shirt that is plastered from sweat against my stomach, my side which feels like a waterfall…my arm feels heavier, like cement. I feel my stiff shoulder…my dry elbow…a… cold hand…Those hands.

“Stop Jane. Stop.” The voice said.

The pulsing subsided, but I needed to know. “I need…”

“Stop.”

Why do I listen? Why do I listen…eyes flutter open? I am in a room, not on a beach…It is dark and damp.  There is no light except for the hands clasping my limbs holding me down. Their hands are glowing…no…I am glowing…what?

“Jane?”

Searching for the face connected with this voice. I need to know…The cold hand stays on my wrist, I travel my fingers up the arm and up to a face. The glow from my hand shines into a face of blue…blue…There is no face, just a blue mist. “Who are you,” as I jerk my hand away and cower in the opposite direction of this form.

“Jane…”

“No who are you!?!”

“Jane…I’m…”

“No. How do we know they are not following her.” A new husky voice, belonging to an older presence enters the mix. “She might be one of them and not know. They might be using her.”

“But…” the voice of blue says…

“Wait until tomorrow.” And that was the end of it.

The cold hand stays on my body. The flower has slowed and is soothed. I feel my body subside and collapse back onto the blanket beneath me. “Who…what…” I don’t know what to think. I can’t believe what I hear. And now I don’t believe what I see. All the other hands have left my limbs, but I cannot move. The cold hand still hugs my wrist, but gentler.

“Jane. Sleep now. I tell you everything tomorrow. I promise.” A hint of sadness flows through this voice, and the hand softens and is lightly hovering my skin; but I can still feel the hand on me. The hand seems to be pouring its cold into me, subsiding my heat. My mind is blurring and everything is spinning. Only his essence is lingering; the soft blue haze stirring beside me. “Who are you?”

“Sleep Jane. Sleep.” These words spoken had a deeper, sweeter tone.

 
“But who…are…you…?” my head leaving this reality. My eyes shutting out even the blue haze’s existence. “Please…”  as my eyes were closing.

“I’m…”

I slept.

A Story: Part 7

A Story: Part 6

“Janey….Janey” snickering sound travels to the foreground of my head.

My eyes flutter open. I am sitting once again on the soft smooth material, but this time it is Danny’s blanket. The wind around me is chilled and biting at my skin.  Nothing about this beach scene is like before. My muscles all ache and my legs and arms feel like sandpaper against gravel.  The material is only helping keep the wind off my bare flesh.

There is no beautiful sunset; there is a musky dark hue of clouds engulfing the beach. The ocean looks like it might purposefully cascade along the coast in hopes of drowning me in its current. I feel afraid to be here; every time before, I felt peaceful and calm, but this time I am on edge and terrified.

I can’t remember anything that happened or didn’t happen. Always when I dream of this place I wake up back in my prison room. It now is a prison room, because it seems like I will never be able to leave.  Or that I am forever doomed to dreamless nightmares.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” a low voice mixes into the crashing waves.

“Who is that? Show yourself?” I have no knowledge of where the voice is coming from. No idea if it is even true.

“Yes, Janey. I am real, and for some glorious reason I am here with you.” And David materializes out of the smog and into view.

“Dav..id?” words escape me. How is he here. I…I…ended him…

“Yes, Janey, you did end me. But I believe I have been given a great chance. Every sleepless nights I have been trapped in your head I have wished to be given a chance to express my feelings in person to you…” his last word lingers in stillness.

“But…how? And huh?” I speak these pitiful words to him, but then in my head questions keep swirling. “How can he hear my thoughts? How is he here? Is he a figment of my imagination?” Unconcerned about my surroundings I do not notice his quick action, as he wraps his long real fingers around my neck and squeezes for his heart’s desires.

“I am real! I am here with you! And now I can end you just like you ended me!” His hands tighten with every sentence.

His hands are strong. He is here in my dream world. I am no longer safe anywhere. His hands tighten more and I have no energy to fight back. My subconscious wounds have constricted me to just accept this fate and be ended.

He feels my body go limp and he shoves me to the ground.  His small body towers over mine digging my back into the blanket deeper into the sand. His face is all contorted, into a wicked, wicked smile.

“How can he hate me so much…How…c..o…” no more thoughts come to mind as I leave this world staring at the stars. At least I was able to die under stars even if they are truly fake. My last thought…”goodbye…”

“Hello? Hey wake up!”

Why can’t I die in peace. Why must there be always someone trying to pull me back into this pointless world…I just want to die.

“HEY! Snap out of it! Wake up!”

A slicing pain develops across my cheek. It burns! My eyes jolt open…

I only see black. Everything is black, but it seems lighter.

“Good…you are alive…” a low mumble twists into the darkness. “Hey, she is awake.”

What? The air around me turns to the color of a dark brown. The same as Danny’s blanket…Danny… Danny’s face comes to my mind and I know he is gone. Tears well-up in my eyes but do not escape because I have no energy to cry. “Why can’t this just be over,” maybe my thought will come true…

Still all I see is a dark brown color. I can now smell and hint of blood and smoke…am I to be eaten…is that my fate…

“Look at her neck. How did she get those bruises…? She didn’t have them earlier…” voices keep pouring into my mind.

What is real…what is fake…what..is…r..e..a..l…

And then I’m gone.

A Story: Part 6

A Story: Part 5

The sun is blistering hot, as it drives into my bare skin. The breeze from the far ocean spills over me soothing my blistered flesh. I stretch across the blanket and…

I’m awake.“Where am I? What day is it? Has time even gone by?” Then I’m gone again.

“Janey…Janey…janey…” David just keeps mumbling to me as I lay here in despair.

“Shut up, David!” silence, and I’m gone again.

I shiver as I come closer to the glistening beautiful water. It almost sings to me, inviting me to its break. The sand beneath my feet is damp but warm still. It squeaks as I bury my feet deeper into its existence. Someone is coming closer…

My eyes open. Questions pour into my subconscious, “Why again? What is my life? What is the meaning of me? They said they wanted me; that I was the key to their existence? But why?” My mind is swirling, and if I open my eyes it will be worse, because the air surrounding me is chaos. The only way for it to stop is sleep. I’m gone again.

“Danny…Danny…”I picture his adorable face as my hand brushes a material beneath me… “Danny!” I leap from my bed, but the searing pain smacks me back down onto my bed. My head is spinning; I shut my eyes trying to contain the nausea. I can feel my heartbeat race, not seeming to be slowing down.  “Danny…”I try to stand, but the movement makes me throw-up across my bedspread. Small dribbles of goop cover my legs.

I need to know if my dream was a dream, but I cannot move. My eyes feel like they are glued shut. My arms and legs weigh a million pounds making it impossible for me to rise. I still can only hear my heartbeat…and a small pulse beating in time to my heart…”

“What?” The ever so quiet, minimalist pulse, vibrating upon my wrist. I remember the small flower, unclear of its true color. Attempting to bring my wrist into view, I pull aside Danny’s blanket…

“Danny!” This time I gradually pull myself out of bed and attempt to walk to my door. The room is spinning, but I must know the truth. I brace my arms on any firm object within reach, opening my door. It swings open with a whine and a cloud of dust engulfs my presence. Dust…? I travel down the corridor and every door is closed, but the doors seem untouched. Cobwebs covering their door-frames, like no one has been here for months. The air is musky and thick. I smell burnt wood with a mixture of dirt and sweat. I hear nothing, but moving down this hallway reminds me of the past screams that would torture my sleep. My legs almost sweep underneath me, I catch myself before continuing on. One more door…

“Danny…”his door is also closed, but it seems clean except for the scratch marks wrapping around the knob, like something was desperately trying to get in. “Danny…” The knob is cold as ice, and there are sharper edges now. It won’t open, the door is glued shut. “Danny…? Are you there,” I whisper hoping for an answer. Knowing there wouldn’t be one…

There was a sound. Like someone was trying to slide along the floor in short snip movements…

“Danny!” This time I raise my voice a bit. I plaster the side of my head to the door straining to listen.

Again, a sound.

The door won’t open. I kick it to see if it will budge. Nothing. If I ram my full force into it, I don’t know if I will be able to survive the pain or the headache…But Danny…Danny is worth it.

Preparing myself…Ram! Nothing happens, and the pain shoots through my shoulder to my head. The headache is bearable but the searing pain is troublesome. I won’t be able to survive that too many more times. Again…Ram! The door shifted…but the pain is worse,  and I am beginning to see dark spots. Again the small, faint noise exits the room. “Stay where you are…Danny. I don’t know…what will…happen to the…door.” I don’t know if he caught any of that, because my words seemed to slur from the dizziness. The noise stopped.

I think I can only survive once more. However, one more shove won’t help me succeed…pondering…thinking with a dizzy head is not helpful. I need a longer runway. The opposite door! The room across from his room is almost dead on. Without hesitation or conflict I open the door…

There lies a baby doll covered in dark goo…I do not need a closer look to know, because of the smell…they’re gone. The bed is upturned and every object is torn to pieces and flung around the room. Claw marks have painted this room’s walls, causing it to look like it’s in motion.

“Why am I here? Danny…Do I want to open that door? Do I need to know what I already guess…?” The tears come and clouds my eyesight even more. I cannot see it…I do not want to see this…

But that noise! There is someone in there and even if it is not Danny I must help them. I wander to the opposite wall bracing my stance. I look towards the corridor, sizing up the huge door blocking my path. My legs are shaking, and I only have this last chance…Danny…then I go.

My legs are burning, and my head swells; I see the door in front of me. I square my shoulder to the wood and RAM! Pain, tears, clouds, and then darkness. My eyes flutter open, and I am hanging halfway through the door. The wood only shattered around my body, but the door still hangs firm. I shift to see better but my shoulder…!

I can feel it, but I also cannot feel it; it’s like I have no shoulder at all. Ignoring the room for a moment, I look to the knob. There is a screwdriver driven into its lock, like someone had attempted to escape by unlocking the door. Probably without knowing our doors have no lock, they locked themselves in.

There is no noise. But I also really cannot hear because of the ringing pain in my ears. And my cloudy conscious blocking out noise. Danny…

I maneuver my body so that I can reach through the opening to grab the screwdriver. It’s wedged in pretty well, but thankfully only one arm is dead to me. I grasp it, yank it, it is freed. However, I lose my composure, I topple over myself, fall through the opening, land on my head and shoulders, and collapse onto the floor inside the room.  Bigger headache, and now matching shoulder of pains.

“Danny…Dann…” words will not escape my mouth…I cannot feel anything, except the pulsing. It’s louder now, pounding in my ears.

“Scoot…” The noise…I can’t see anything. This room is darker than the other; it is almost total blackness. “Squeak…” something is traveling towards me, at its slow but unwavering pace. “Squeak………….squeak………..squeak….” It has no words.

An eerie sensation travels down my spine. Goosebumps sprout over my arms and legs. The hairs stand on ends. The small pulse on the wrist heightens and my throat slowly closes. “It’s only Danny. Relax.” I say to myself trying to make myself breath again.

“Danny?” I say into the void.

“Squeak………..squeak……….squeak……….”Its body rubbing against the plywood, each time louder and more forceful than the one before.

Only slightly I hear a low wheezing breath breaking into the silence. I don’t know if it is louder or not, because my ears are ringing in fear. The noise continues, and it seems only a few feet from me. It stops suddenly. Only a hushed chill lingers between us.

Nothing…“Danny?” I whisper afraid of the…

WHAM!

The door breaks off its hinges and a figure lunges into the room. With searing pain, I fling myself out of the way. Then cram my pain-filled head between my arms trying to disappear. Pain is shooting over my entire body, but centered on my arm. I hear the scuffle, but the noises are dwindling in and out. “Dan…n…y” I try, but can’t speak. Then all is black.

A Story: Part 5

A Story: Part 4

Without opening my eyes I extend my limbs in every direction, and my hands stroke smooth material which seems to melt through my fingers. As my legs brush against the fabric my small hairs spring to life from the slight shocks of static. My feet repeatedly bury themselves and then expose their toes feeling the fabric glide off their visible skin. I can feel the warmth of the sun beat down on me and I hear a faint breeze shift in the wind. All is still and peaceful, but with my eyes closed I wonder about that figure. I hear a small bird, just out of reach twitter is own magical tune; however, it’s sound seems so far away. Then there is a tapping on the window.

Window? Bolting up I see the bird outside the dirty window whistling its song while ever so often tapping the window glass. So I am not dreaming. I am again in my room. But the fabric? …looking down I see a brown blanket draped under my body twisting into my bed sheet. This isn’t mine. I take the material in my hands and try and distinguish something recognizable. I can see nothing but my drizzles of drool spilled over a top corner. “Sorry” to whoever’s blanket this is. At the farthest corner, I see a cursive “D” spelling a word….Danny. Bless little Danny’s heart.” I feel bad about the drool, but he did snot-fest my shirt that one time…I will wash it out later, showing him the same kindness.

Strange I have no headache and no voices, maybe David has gone for good. Of course as I say this to myself I know if will come back to bite me later. But still with the thought of his name, he does not surface. I am just confused because I can’t even feel his presence like before.

I stretch my arms high above my head wanting to touch the celling. I feel no soreness or pain; I feel content and bliss. I prepare myself for the dizziness after standing, but nothing comes. This is strange…I almost glide over to the mirror in search of my eyes knowing I will see truth.

I fall back suddenly in shock. Looking in I saw orange. Not just plain orange, but fiery orange. I saw hints of gold and shards of red. I looked like a possessed human or even a ferocious monster. Standing, I peer into the mirror again my eyes are normal with the peaceful green and hints of blue and brown. But they also look alive. I can see my own reflection looking back at me. I wonder if my orange eyes had been real or if the light had hit the mirror in a new way.

I change my clothes quickly not wanting to see the bruises from the day before, and I see the layer of dust covering my dresser. Nothing has moved or is out of place; I lift the brush, beneath is shiny, new, and bare. How…? …No….

I open the door and all the surrounding doors are standing open, allowing any to enter. “Danny…” I rush to his room and there it is tussled and ruined with no sight of life. The little bear which he always slept with lays torn in my path. All the furniture is turned and trampled. Nothing is as it once was.

I scoop up the bear and wander back to my room. Each doorway shows another lost loved one. Gone without notice and what seems like, without a say. Each door similar to the next. Each door hanging on its hinges ready to give up on life.

Me too. Knowing that all these children, all these beautiful children are gone. I have no will to live either. I wander back into my room cradle the bear into the smooth blanket, my last piece of Danny, and almost whimper myself into a dead sleep.

Danny…Danny…DANNY! “Why Danny?” screaming myself awake not able to handle the reoccurring torturing nightmares. Since I have no recollection of the canceling, I know the shadows must have done this. My nightmares consist of me trying to save the children, but remain glued to the floor unable to save anyone. Then the shadows turn towards me and I awake. The bear is still swaddled in the smooth brown blanket, but now there is more drool and small dabs of snot from the day before.

I have not left my room. I have not seen another soul or shadow.  I don’t move because of the fear of being next, also because it will awaken my stomach. The doors all still hang open, including mine. Why bother. If no one comes I will die alone, and if someone comes it is my end.

Except for my stomach I would have laid there until I became dust and died. But the constant growling is obnoxious and I can’t ignore it any longer. Going to leave I turn back and scoop up the bear and blanket. I tie it as a sash across my chest keeping my precious keepsakes close.

The hallway seems deadlier. No noise. No life. No warmth. It reminds me of a book I read about ghost stories; the cemetery of headstones, each having a new original story to tell. Slowly I meander to the red door to reality. Maybe beyond that door all will be gone too. No shadows. No fear. No life. Maybe I am the only one still left living. The knob turns too easily, then I push way too hard, the door swings open suddenly, and I collapse to the ground. I lay there in silence. Catching my breath and thankful for the bear, because it might have saved my ribs. I brace my stance and push myself into a kneeling position….

Nothing. The small room with the dining table is toppled over and in disarray. The swinging doors to the kitchen are torn off its hinges and lay shattered on the floor. Dishes are broken and scattered everywhere. Every step I take another shard breaks into a million smaller shards beneath my feet. The diner is empty and every table is distorted. Nothing is the same. Everything is destroyed. I hear nothing except my breath; I am no longer hungry. No one is present, no children, no shadows and no customers, just me. Looking back over the path I have followed, I see nothing but the evidence of destruction. Something flickers in my side-eyed vision. A sign I have never seen. In blaring red lights it reads, “EXIT”. Curious…

I stumble across the broken dishes, torn cushions, and the spilled syrup covering the floor, towards that sign leading to oblivion. The door is glowing and the sun is pouring through the windows. I touch the knob and it begins to hum and sing into my palm. It almost feels alive. I turn the knob, shove open the door, it won’t budge. I shove again and I hear a crack. I kick and slam into the door. I continuously pound its wood until the door gives away and I topple into the light…

Thud…I hit the ground and I feel plywood beneath me. I open my eyes as the pain in my knees send a stinging sensation to my back. I see fabric wrapped around my head, and I feel it strangling the air from my throat. I frantically struggle to unwrap my suffocating body from the material.  My head is finally released and I am on a cold wooden floor. Danny’s blanket was the cause of restriction. Completely confused, I search of a recognizable building to know my surroundings. I see a dark form. A sturdy block shaped form slowly comes crisply into view. A desk…a dresser…

I am in my room…