I have prided myself on being that person that always accepts the outcasts. The people that don’t fit in. The people that are socially awkward or loud or alone. Not the people that are quiet and alone to be stalkers, but the people who try to be accepted but always fail. I like those types of people. I’ve always gravitated towards those people.

But this guy was killing me. I knew he was nervous. I knew he was probably not this socially awkward, but seriously. Cheesy pickup lines for the last hour.

“Are you a camera? Because I could smile at you all day long.”

Or

“Do you want to check the tag of my shirt? I think it’s made of, Boyfriend material.”

Or

“My new favorite numbers are one and four. Because you are the one four me.”

These were the few that stood out to me. And I thought they were sweet. Sweet enough to continue to sit at this table. But about thirty minutes into this date he completely changed. His pickup lines were becoming inappropriate. But I had missed my window to leave the table.

I decided I would just stay and be polite. I haven’t really been listening to him speak for the last few minutes. But I wanted to leave a good impression to the other blind date couples around me. Also the hosts. I really wanted to meet someone, and start a life.

I work in an office. I’m the secretary to the CEO. So as you can imagine; I have no life. All my time is spent working or sleeping. But I got invited to this speed blind dating meeting. So I decided to try it out.

Which had been fun in the beginning. I was meeting new people. Learning about different hobbies. But no one was standing out for me. Everyone seemed so sure of themselves and what they wanted in a partner. Whereas me…I had no idea.

I knew I wanted a God fearing man. I wanted someone attractive to me. Not handsome, but someone I found attractive. Handsome people are always caught in the middle of gossip or scandals. I wanted a quiet romance. I would prefer someone my height or taller, but that wasn’t a necessity. As long as my height never came into question of why I was with him. But a big one, for him to have a stable job. He didn’t have to be well off or climbing the ladder of success. But I wanted him to have a stable job that he enjoyed. I didn’t want to have a kept man. Also not a man who would quit his job once we were married; thinking I would be the money maker. My dream was to be a mom. Not especially stay at home. But where I could work half days and spend a good chunk of my day with my kiddos.

But alas, no one really stood out to me tonight; and unfortunately the guy in front of me just won’t stop yapping. He just goes on and on about his gym life. Which tells me we are not a match. I go to the gym maybe twice a month if I feel inspired, or when I know I’m going to be pigging out the next day.

I checked my watch to see if I was near the end of this nightmare of a man. Which was the wrong move. Because when I looked back up at the man across from me he showed annoyance, snobbery, disgust; which was very unattractive on his face.

“Really? You are checking your watch?! I’ve been talking this whole time and you’ve said maybe a sentence worth of words. Are you really that inconsiderate of people’s feelings that you need to check your watch in front of me?”

He was almost shouting at me. Which caused the host to stop speaking and the whole hall grew silent. All eyes were now on our table.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be rude. I…”

“If you didn’t want to be rude you wouldn’t have checked the time in front of me. You wouldn’t have been ignoring me this whole time. You wouldn’t have stayed at this table when the host called for a switch. Something drew you to me. Is it really gone? Or did you just come here to find a quick hook up?”

My head snapped up at that last part. I was not here for a hook up. From my experience, the person who brings up that topic is usually the one trying to accomplish it. That they are trying to throw shade at someone else to cover up their thoughts. “Why would you think that? I’ve been trying to be polite this whole time. I stayed at this table because I thought originally you were just socially awkward, which doesn’t bother me, but I liked your corny pick up lines. So I stayed. But about fifteen minutes into our talk you changed. Your pickup lines became inappropriate. Referencing the bedroom more than anything.”

He flinched at that. Yep. That’s what he had been after.

“I haven’t tried to speak since I discovered we have nothing in common now. I want a God fearing man who wants to find love, not an easy night,” I made sure to speak that last part slowly. To let it sink into the man across from me, but also the people surrounding us now.

“I should have gotten up. Or at least excused myself from the table. But I wanted to be polite to you and the surrounding couples. I wanted to just wait my time and then leave quietly when I could. I apologize for glancing at my watch. But why did you not read the table, and realize that I was no longer communicating with you. Maybe you should have changed the subject or tried to engage me. But instead you just kept saying uncomfortable lines and talking about your gym life. Talking about all the women you meet there and how women should always be fit and active.”

I had planned to be neutral in this outburst, but he was irritating me. The fact that he called me out in front of everyone. He deserves to be put front and center.

I stood from the table. I looked from the other couples to the hosts, “I’m sorry I ruined the atmosphere of your event. I really was here to hopefully meet someone. But I should take my leave and allow the successful couples to finish meeting. Thank you again,” I gathered up my coat and purse and walked from the hall. Not allowing the rude man to say anything more. Tonight was a flop.

.-.-.-.

Instead of heading straight home I decided to sit at the bar area for a bit. I wasn’t going to drink the night away, but a fruity drink sounded delicious. Also, I already needed to get an Uber home , so having one drink was not going to affect my night.

As I had almost finished my drink, a person sat down beside me. I didn’t think anything of it. I turned to have a cheers moment and regretted turning. It was my unfortunate match from before. But he was wasted. He reeked of alcohol.

“You…you…” he stammered. “You ruined my chances of finding someone for the night. I thought you were going to be that person. But I was dead wrong. Instead you made them throw me out. And now I’m blacklisted. Do you know what that means? It means any event of this kind I’m not welcome. They will send my information and pictures to the other agencies. How am I supposed to find someone now. I wasn’t just going to sleep with someone and throw them away. Intimacy can bring people closer. You know about all their faults before you get fully invested.”

I was a little stunned that he was able to have a coherent conversation. But he was indeed scum. The worst kind of scum. I’m happy I spoke out against him. Now he would never be able to tarnish another girl; a girl looking for a fairytale but getting a nightmare instead.

“Maybe you should do your duty and come home with me,” he reached for my hand.

I yanked my hand away. He was entering the dangerous phase of drinking. I got up from my stool and backed away from him.

But he followed, “you are the one who ruined my night. You should feel obligated to fulfill my needs, right?”

He was truly delirious. A screw was loose in his mind. I looked around to see if anyone would be a feasible helper to me in this situation. But the bartender was off on the other side flirting with two girls. He had missed our exchange. There was another man at the bar, but he was snoring. So I was alone. I continued to back away from him. Once in the lobby I would probably find a worker and ask for some help. I wasn’t super tipsy, but I didn’t trust myself to be able to escape seamlessly.

Almost to doors as I backed up, I backed into a body. I turned my head to see my boss was behind me. Henry Halls. I didn’t know if he would help me, but I was going to try. I scampered around Mr. Halls and hid behind him. I latched onto his arm and looked up at him resting my chin on his arm.

“He’s saying I ruined his chance to find someone easy. And that I should be willing to fulfill his needs. Can you get rid of him for me?”

Mr Halls said nothing. He just looked down at me. I probably looked ridiculous. But I was tipsy now. Monday at work I would just surrender my mid year bonus. I continued to look up at him. But his face was still emotionless.

I let go of his arm and stood up beside him. I guess he wasn’t going to help me. I would just get out of here myself. I looked at the wasted man; he was still standing there, but he seemed hunched over. He was starting to enter the downhill spiral of drinking too much. This was my chance.

I looked once more at Mr. Halls and still nothing. So instead I just turned on my heels and sprinted to the lounge doors. But an arm grabbed mine and held me in place.

I was worried it was the drunk man so I turned with a strong fist formed first. It made contact with a hard chest. I peeked open my eyes only to see I had just punched my boss in the chest. I was too stunned to say anything but I tried to back away. But Henry Halls pulled me back into his embrace.

His embrace?! Yes. I looked down at his hands; they were holding me in place in front of him. I was just inches from his chest. He smelled of pine or cedar. It was nice. It was comforting. It was…I rested my head on his chest. That fruity drink was hitting me too hard.

“Kelly Marshall. Look up at me.”

I heard him but I also didn’t hear him. But still I lifted my head to look up into the eyes of Henry Halls; only to be met with a strange look on my boss’ face. Was that a smile…but my boss doesn’t smile…he just…

And he bent down and kissed my mouth. ‘Wait!!!! What??!!!’ He was kissing me. I was kissing him. What’s happening right now. His mouth moved from mine to find my ear, “close your eyes Kelly Marshall or he will know.”

Know what? That this was fake. That my boss was kissing me without permission. That I lost my first kiss…! I stepped out of Henry Halls embrace and slapped him. How could he do that to me. I wanted to be saved, but with words not by stealing something important to me.

Henry Halls looked stunned. I backed away from him. I shouldn’t have hit him, but I was so mad at him, that all I could do now was sprint from the bar lounge. I needed to get out of there. I needed air. Air!

The cold breeze hit my face. I felt a smidge better; like that I could see clearly again. My mind was swimming still; a throbbing headache was in the works. I walked up to the valet attendant only to have my hand grabbed and myself yanked into a black car.

I fell onto the seat. The car door slammed behind me. ‘Where was I?’ The opposite door swung open and in slid Henry Halls in the seat next to me. I turned away from him and tried to escape, but I was pulled away from the door and back into Henry Halls’ arms. “Drive,” he called to the driver and kept a hold on my shoulders.

I was confused what was happening. Why was I here? Why is he here? Why is my head swimming still? Why is he holding me? Why am I letting him? ‘Yeah…why!?’ I tried to get out of his embrace. “Let me go!”

“No.”

“Let me go. The other guy was drunk. And gone. I’m safe now. You can stop pretending. Let go!”

Silence.

I wriggled trying to be freed. I didn’t want anything fake. I wanted something real. And now, I would know that it wouldn’t be one hundred percent real. That kiss was gone. “Let me go!!” I almost screamed.

“Stop fighting me, Kelly.” He pulled me to his chest and hugged me, “I’m not pretending. Can you not see that?”

‘What was he saying. Not pretending. Can I see it?’ In all these years this was the closest I had been to anyone. But with Henry Halls you don’t get this close, you don’t see smiles, you don’t feel anything but criticism or disappointment. “You’re kidding right? I should know?? I should have seen it? You’ve got to be kidding,” I started laughing. But I suddenly stopped when I saw his face. I saw hurt. I saw embarrassment. I saw…sadness… ‘Wow. That fruity drink was making me fantasize things.’

“Seriously, Mr. Halls, I don’t know how I was supposed to see this? If I’ve seen anything from you it’s been disappointment or disapproval.” Again my boss showed hurt on his face. ‘What’s going on?’

“Jeffery, please take Ms. Marshall home. Drop me off here.”

“Wait. Henry. What are you trying to say?” However Henry Halls stilled exited the car. And he was gone.

The car began to drive away, “Wait! Stop the car!”

“But Miss, Mr. Halls said,”

“Stop the car!” And I opened my car door. Before the car had stopped I was out of there, and running back to where we left Henry.

Mr. Halls stood his back to me. I don’t know if it was my imagination or not, but it seemed like he was hunched. Defeated? ‘What was I seeing or thinking about? Henry Halls didn’t care about me. I would have saw it; wouldn’t have I?’ I was just behind him. I don’t know what I was doing, but I needed to know what just happened. “Henry,” I reached out to tap his shoulder.

But instead, Henry swung around quickly startling me too suddenly that I was falling backwards towards the sidewalk. I clasped my eyes closed waiting for the painful thud coming. Nothing. No pain. I opened my left eye to only see Henry’s face. ‘Was that concern I saw?’ He was holding me. Holding me up. In his arms. His arms held me so easily… “Mr. Halls?”

“Henry. I prefer you to call me Henry,” Henry smiled, pulling me back up into a standing position. “You just called me Henry, so it shouldn’t be hard for you to do again.”

‘Henry had a charming smile.’ I couldn’t help but smile back at him, “okay. Henry,” I smiled gleefully. Probably the alcohol hitting me again. My silliness phase was coming out. “Henry?”

Henry turned towards me. His smile still apparent on his face.

His face was glowing. I had never seen this side to Mr. Halls. Henry. Henry was becoming more and more human to me. “Henry.”

Again Henry looked at me. his eyes searched my face this time. What was he looking for? “Kelly Marshall…do you think you could ever see me as your future?”

“My future? My future what? Boss? Yes. Employer? Yes. Friend? Maybe?”

“No. Future. Like boyfriend? Or husband. Your future. Do you understand?”

I didn’t. What was he talking about? Boyfriend?…I shook my head.

“Can you consider me to fill the role as your boyfriend and eventually your husband?” A red hue was engulfing Henry’s face and ears.

‘Boyfriend? Boyfriend!?!’ I looked at Henry. He was no longer looking at me. He was actually hiding his face from me. I could only see the red on his ears.

“Do you even like me?” I surprisingly was not against the idea, probably the alcohol talking; but it still seemed unrealistic to me. Like why would he choose me. I was just his secretary. I was a nobody.

“Yes. Of course I do! Why would I be asking you this if I didn’t have any intention towards you? I’m not a jerk. Just think about all this time? Have you made mistakes in work? Yes you have; normally you would have been fired but I let it go because it was you. Whenever you have asked for days off, I’ve given them to you; even if it’s been inconvenient to me, because I wanted you to see me in good light. I’ve paid huge sums of money to get rid of your rumors with various people we have had to meet at social gatherings. I thought you knew all this. I thought you were just being discreet. When I kissed you earlier I thought you wanted it too. That you hanging onto my arm was you being cute and asking. But then you slapped me. I was confused, then you vanished. And now we are here. And you are looking at me like I’m the crazy one. That I’ve been imagining everything before this.”

This was too much for me. He liked me. He’s been thinking I liked him back. He wanted to kiss me. He seems so hurt. I wish I had known. I should have known. Other office workers had mentioned that I must be a super lucky person since I still had a job. That others had been fired over what I had done. I should have known. He was right. I was the one who had been confusing him. “I’m sorry Henry. I wish I would have known. Had I known I would have…”

“Don’t say anything you don’t mean. I apologize for stirring all this up. Please excuse me,” Henry waved down a taxi.

“No!” I jumped up, swung the door of taxi open, and yelled, “no need. Drive on,” and I slammed the door shut. The taxi roared off.

“Why did you do that?”

I was sober now, but I don’t know why I chose this to stop him, but I hooked my hand behind his neck and stood on my tippy toes to kiss him back. I wanted him to know I was serious about what I wanted to say, but instead of saying it with words I would use actions; like he had earlier.

“Kelly. Do you know what you are doing?”

Henry had yanked me off of him. At this moment I didn’t know what I was doing. Was he not into this anymore. Was I being too rash; should I be more reserved? I just kind of stood there frozen. Maybe I should just leave. Maybe the window was closed. I didn’t speak. I was just going to leave and probably quit my job via email. I would just disappear from this life all together. I backed away from him. “I’ll just be going…”

“Oh no you don’t,” Henry grabbed my outstretched hand and pulled me back into his embraced. “You’re not running away. You kissed me back so this is your fault.”

He pulled me back to his body and kissed me.

“And this.”

He kissed me again.

“And thi…”

I shut him up before he could finish. ‘Just kiss me.’

And he did just that.