“Janey….Janey” snickering sound travels to the foreground of my head.
My eyes flutter open. I am sitting once again on the soft smooth material, but this time it is Danny’s blanket. The wind around me is chilled and biting at my skin. Nothing about this beach scene is like before. My muscles all ache and my legs and arms feel like sandpaper against gravel. The material is only helping keep the wind off my bare flesh.
There is no beautiful sunset; there is a musky dark hue of clouds engulfing the beach. The ocean looks like it might purposefully cascade along the coast in hopes of drowning me in its current. I feel afraid to be here; every time before, I felt peaceful and calm, but this time I am on edge and terrified.
I can’t remember anything that happened or didn’t happen. Always when I dream of this place I wake up back in my prison room. It now is a prison room, because it seems like I will never be able to leave. Or that I am forever doomed to dreamless nightmares.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” a low voice mixes into the crashing waves.
“Who is that? Show yourself?” I have no knowledge of where the voice is coming from. No idea if it is even true.
“Yes, Janey. I am real, and for some glorious reason I am here with you.” And David materializes out of the smog and into view.
“Dav..id?” words escape me. How is he here. I…I…ended him…
“Yes, Janey, you did end me. But I believe I have been given a great chance. Every sleepless nights I have been trapped in your head I have wished to be given a chance to express my feelings in person to you…” his last word lingers in stillness.
“But…how? And huh?” I speak these pitiful words to him, but then in my head questions keep swirling. “How can he hear my thoughts? How is he here? Is he a figment of my imagination?” Unconcerned about my surroundings I do not notice his quick action, as he wraps his long real fingers around my neck and squeezes for his heart’s desires.
“I am real! I am here with you! And now I can end you just like you ended me!” His hands tighten with every sentence.
His hands are strong. He is here in my dream world. I am no longer safe anywhere. His hands tighten more and I have no energy to fight back. My subconscious wounds have constricted me to just accept this fate and be ended.
He feels my body go limp and he shoves me to the ground. His small body towers over mine digging my back into the blanket deeper into the sand. His face is all contorted, into a wicked, wicked smile.
“How can he hate me so much…How…c..o…” no more thoughts come to mind as I leave this world staring at the stars. At least I was able to die under stars even if they are truly fake. My last thought…”goodbye…”
“Hello? Hey wake up!”
Why can’t I die in peace. Why must there be always someone trying to pull me back into this pointless world…I just want to die.
“HEY! Snap out of it! Wake up!”
A slicing pain develops across my cheek. It burns! My eyes jolt open…
I only see black. Everything is black, but it seems lighter.
“Good…you are alive…” a low mumble twists into the darkness. “Hey, she is awake.”
What? The air around me turns to the color of a dark brown. The same as Danny’s blanket…Danny… Danny’s face comes to my mind and I know he is gone. Tears well-up in my eyes but do not escape because I have no energy to cry. “Why can’t this just be over,” maybe my thought will come true…
Still all I see is a dark brown color. I can now smell and hint of blood and smoke…am I to be eaten…is that my fate…
“Look at her neck. How did she get those bruises…? She didn’t have them earlier…” voices keep pouring into my mind.
What is real…what is fake…what..is…r..e..a..l…
And then I’m gone.