Dinner was delicious; it had been over six months since the last time I had pizza. Thankfully we had ordered from a mom and pop type of place called, The Mrs’ Pies.
Jeremy and I were preparing for bed. It seemed like the night just flew by. My chance to talk to Jenny never came. The pressure was getting to me. Because we only have tomorrow, and after that we fly back to Montana and she to Europe. I have no idea of the next time we will meet.
I was showered and was sprawled out on the queen bed just staring at the ceiling fan. I was trying to clear my mind; by not thinking of anything.
Jeremy came out of the connecting bathroom; he shoved his toothbrush back in his backpack, walked over to the bed, and shoved me to the opposite side. “I don’t know what you are thinking; I’m definately sleeping on the bed.”
I threw his hand off of me. “Yeah, right! Sure you are. In your dreams.” But I was really thinking about how to pry into his and Jenny’s conversation from earlier.
“Just ask,” Jeremy laughed as he relaxed onto his half of the bed, “I know that’s what you are thinking.”
‘It’s creepy that he knows me so well.’ I decided to pause our fight for the bed, and asked the question that was hauntingly mind, “Well…how did your talk go? I didn’t hear any yelling or things being thrown so you must have kept your cool?”
“I will admit, there were times I almost lost control, but I kept it in… knowing you would probably kill me if I did anything to your girl.” Jeremy smirked.
“Not my girl, but yes, you would have died tonight,” I brushed off the, girl, statment because I didn’t want that phrase to drift to Jenny’s room. “Did you tell her everything? You guys talked for almost three hours.”
“Yes and no. I apologized for Sophmore year; turns out she found out later what I had said that day.” Jeremy grabbed the back of his neck, “Man, I was a jerk back then.”
I looked at him almost instictively. ‘Only then?’
“Oh, shut it. I don’t have to hear you speak it, to know what you are thinking. But you know what I mean,” Jeremy turned his head towards the mirror to look at himself. “I was a piece of work that day. Yes, my childhood was awful, but hearing her speak about what I did that day…I felt like trash in front of her.”
Jeremy looked like he collapsed in front of me. His body hunched over itself, and he seemed like he was admitting defeat.
“I think the guys let me off too easily. I’ll have to tell Jerry that he did the best. Jenny was shocked when I told her that I was accepted into the four of you,” Jeremy ran his hand through his still sopping wet hair. “I told her about growing up with a crappy Dad and coach. She acknowledged that aspect I think; probably out of pity. I didn’t tell her about my mom. I’m relizing that maybe my mom would rather me not telling everone about that night. I actually don’t know if she has told her friends; so until I ask my mom face to face, I’m going to keep that night to myself.”
I didn’t even think about that. That Jeremy’s mom might not want to talk about her nightmare experience. I felt guilty about telling Ken, and letting Matthew and Jerry find out. “Sorry dude, about…”
“Nope,” Jeremy stopped me, “I’m happy they know. I don’t know if Jerry would have moved past our issue if I hadn’t.”
‘True. Jerry would probably still be hating his guts.’
“I…apologized to her for being the cause of the rumors. What her dad said was right. What I said that day did initiate the rumors, but I can totally see those two idiots manipulating my words into something awful, but without being expelled. I just can’t believe that I was the cause…” Jeremy had recoiled his body from looking in the mirror.
“I understand that, but dude,” I clapped suddenly making him jump, but bringing him out of his zoning, “I kind of feel like the rumors were going to happen anyways. You changed, but none of your buddies did. They continued to be trash. You had no control over their behaviors.”
“But I did,” Jeremy said point blank.
‘What?’ I didn’t actually respond. How could I?
“How do you think that those guys became the way they did?” Jermery questioned without waiting for an answer, “I was the one to create the trash. They were actually pretty cool dudes before my family life got worse. They were all top notch.”
I couldn’t answer him. We were suseptible to change, but knowing this I understood how none of this would have happened if it were not for him…‘I really can’t defend him.’
“So…in the end I was the cause for Jenny’s pain. I…I have no words for myself. Just like you, you can’t even speak to me,” Jermey got up from the bed and sat on the floor. “I’ll take the floor tonight. I don’t think I could sleep comfortably anyways,” He reached up and grabbed a pillow; he then layed down in his new desired spot.
I still sat there stunned. ‘Jeremy is still my friend, don’t get me wrong, but how am I supposed to face Jenny. I befriended the person who destroyed her life. He destroyed my girl’s everything.’ I got up to shut off the overhead light and looked down at Jeremy; he was curled into a ball position. ‘Yeah he is still my good friend. Only a true friend would be sleeping like he is right now; someone owning up to his mistakes.’ I got back onto the bed, but somehow also felt guilty for sleeping there too. So I threw Jeremy the comforter first, before I too grabbed a pillow, a blanket, and slipped off the bed to sleep on floor.