Obviously, my husband would be an easy answer. He has great impacted my life for the better. But I think I want to use this time to say my older brother.
My older brother had a great influence in my life. He was always the role model of a strong man in my life. As you all know, my dad was not someone in my life and I had no desire for him to be present either. So to me my older brother filled that role. If I needed help, he was the one I went to.
Now that I am living miles and miles away from my old home; I am realizing how much time I spent with my older brother. During my early teenage years, I would spend time watching him play the piano; Sometimes I would chime in and sing if a song I knew came up. Strangely I felt comfortable enough to sing in front of my brother, but never for anyone else. I would sit and watch him play World of Warcraft; it was incredibly boring, except for the beautiful colors and the imaginative creativity that they had to design the game. We would play board games together. That became a normal thing; my brother had game nights with his buddies over the years, and I was cool enough to tag along.
I have to say it is pretty amazing that I was able to tag along, because when I was a child i tormented my brother. I am amazed that we had such a strong relationship as I grew up; because I know at one point, he probably wanted to strangle me.
But even when I went through the stupid dating experience too young; I remember my brother coming up to me saying, “If you need me to do anything I’m there for you.” I felt so protected in that moment. My older brother was always a shy introvert like me; so, to know he would step up and be my protector made me swell with pride for him.
I even had thought that I wanted my husband to ask my brother for permission to marry me, but it was my mom’s role. But my brother would have been the second person in line.
I also had thought about having my brother give me away at my wedding. Again, I had always seen my mom give me away, but again my brother would have been my next choice.
I can’t really label what in my life has been influenced by him, because to me without him I probably would have seen men different. If life had just been us leaving a verbally abusive dad without a strong male example for me; I’m scared to think who I would have become. I have to thank my brother so much!
I love you big brother!!

By emily2jane
12-18-23