Tag Archives: Family

Hugs…

…Tuesday 3rd…

“If I could wish for anything, I think it would be a family,” the young girl said, sitting across from me; while she twisted her long locks between her fingers.

Another average foster child, another one wishing for love from another. In my line of work, I have counseled many children, all the same, wishing for a family to sweep them off their feet and make them feel like a prince or princess. Sadly for this girl, she was beyond the age of people wanting to adopt; adopting a spirted twelve year old is different than a newborn or someone under the age of five. This is the sixth visit we have had. “Lizzy, what would a family do for you?” asking an obvious question, but my job demands these stupid ones.

“I would feel that feeling that everyone speaks of…” she pondered a moment, “being protected, being loved unconditionally, feeling that amazing feeling you get when someone gives you a sincere hug. I want to experience the feeling of being seen as more than just a charitable cause.”

These kids…they would melt your heart if you could see the small tears forming at the eyes. “Anything new happening for you?” I wish I could pick my own questions.

“Nothing so far… there is a family that walks by our gate every morning. The mom is so beautiful, the kids are smiling and laughing, they are the typical perfect family. I’m older than the children by maybe two years; they always stare at me wondering why I stay day after day in the yard of this house…”

Her eyes just drifted into nothingness, seeing so much hope and sadness in a young person is heartbreaking…

“BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…” my blaring alarm stopping my train of thought.

“Well that’s it for the day, did us talking help you at all?” Another stupid question because it only does so much.

“Yes it did Miss Ann. You always help me relax and settle before our next session. You keep me calm through the week.” She said with a smile, but a broken smile.

I’m not allowed to, it’s against the rules as a counselor but, “Lizzy, would it give you more strength if… would you like a hug?”

“No thank you, Miss Ann, I want my first real hug to be from someone who truly loves me.”

‘That could be me,’ I thought to myself, not daring to utter the words. “Alrighty, Lizzy,” I said as I gathered my belongings and hid my rejected feelings away. “I’ll see you next week.” I left the almost teen in the doorway as I always did, but I left with an indescribable feeling.

…Tuesday 10th…

Again sitting across the child, with a new feelings towards her. This past week had been crazy and strenuous, but finally Tuesday had come. “How…” before I could finish I was cut off…

“Miss Ann, guess what, guess what?! That family that walks by every day, the younger boy gave me this,” she produced from her cubby a laurel, but this one had small flowers woven between the leaves.

“Its beautiful Lizzy, it is a beautiful laurel.” I said hoping to move onto more pressing matters.

“A laurel that’s what it’s called. I was wondering and now I know!” She placed it on her head and sat with poise like she was a princess. “He said he would be here tomorrow to talk to me about something, I’m so excited! I’m going to be part of a family!”

My heart shrank, and I stuffed the folder I had produced back into my briefcase. “That sounds wonderful my…Lizzy. I’m so happy you will have your wish come true,” saying this as best as I could, hiding my true feelings.

“Yes, Miss Ann, you are a genie to all kids, you use your power to grant everyone’s wishes. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!” she ran towards me and gave me a hug…a hug…

“Wait Lizzy, you are wasting your first hug…” I let go of her, even though I wanted to keep that hug forever.

“No, I decided my genie deserved the first hug.” She gave me the sweetest smile and scurried off.

Our scheduled meetings were not mandatory, if she didn’t need to talk she didn’t have to stay.

She popped her back in the room, “I will be your genie; I give you one wish. You can cash in the wish whenever and it will come true even if I am no longer here. Goodbye Miss Ann. Thank you for everything!” Her head disappeared into the house.

The woman of the house came in, “Did you tell her? She seemed quite excited…Miss?”

“I’m sorry, no, I never got the chance. She has a family stopping by tomorrow to see her so I didn’t want to ruin her wish.”

“Yes, the family did call, but I don’t think…”

I cut her off before she could say what I know she would say, “All is fine. I just wanted to change her life, and she would have changed mine as well. I will be transferring out of this house as the counselor, I’ll make sure someone good takes my place. Thank you for helping me this last week with the paper work. No matter what happens please don’t contact me about the result of tomorrow. I wish her all the best” I gave the woman the folder I would no longer need, and I walk towards the door I will never enter again.

“I heard she gave you a wish, was she…” She asked the question, she already knew the answer…

“Yeah, she was my wish and I had hoped I was hers.” I walked away from this life, and into hopefully a less heartbreaking one.

…To Be Continued…

Genie

Home Again.

Heading back to SoCal. I’m going to miss the crisp brisk weather here. This trip felt more like home, we got various dishes we needed…like coffee mugs. Coffee is a must. But I got to designate places in the kitchen for different dishes and food, and they will stay there until we visit again.

I’m having mixed emotions again. I want to go home to mother and family. And I actually miss my job, probably because I am now okay at it. And it’s home…but here is home as well. The snow and sun air, the neighborhood of peace and quiet, the open room with many opportunities to waiting….I’m conflicted.

But for now we are heading home and we finished the trip right…Arby’s!! Deliciousness!!its our tradition…

Can’t wait to see mama ❤️

Good bye until we head homeward…sort of…

Brothers.

“Stephen! Can you see it?” William screamed across the field at his older brother who was off doing something…”STEPHEN!!!” The screams got louder, not urgent, but louder.

“I’m coming,” a voice came through the wind, tickling Williams ears. A figure hopped down out of a tree and started to scurry towards the small figure across the field. “What’s up William, I was enjoying my view?”

“Can you see it,” as a small hand points towards the tiptop branch of the giant oak tree, “Can you see it?” again William repeated himself.

Stephen looked upwards to see the wonder that his brother could see, but he only saw branches. “I can’t see what you see, what do you see?”

“I see a marvelous thing, its beautiful; but the word is escaping my mind. It’s like a home.” William said as his eyes glistened with imagination and wonder towards the branches above.

“Do you mean a tree house? We have one at home William, but yeah, it’s not quite as far up as this tree would be,”

“Maybe, but to me it should have a grander name…like a cozy home.”

Stephen gazed upwards again wishing he could see the sight his brother was seeing. So as to get as close as possible, Stephen crouched to be at William’s height; and there between the weaving branch puzzle he saw the glorious sight his small brother saw.

“Come with me William,” Stephen said, as he pulled his brother in tow.

“But I want to stay and look at the home.” William whimpered as the beautiful tree was drifting farther and farther away.

Stephen scooped up William’s body and shoved him onto the first branch he could reach.

William scooted a bit so his big brother could climb up the next branch and begin their journey up. William placed his foot where his brother did and grabbed the branches he grabbed. He always followed his brother no matter what. Especially since he put him in a tree.

They continued up ten feet, twenty feet, thirty feet, forty feet…”Stephen, I think mama wouldn’t want us to go up any higher…”

Stephen plopped his bottom on the branch, and agreed this is it. He reached out to grabbed William’s hand and pull him up to his level, “Wow, we are quite a ways up! I didn’t pay attention; I was just climbing and pushing myself, daring to go higher.

As William’s body was next to his own, they sat together on a comfortable branch. William gazed out to admire the field, the proud tall mountains, the peachy blue sky, the frazzled little trees, and listen to the sweet whispers surfing through the breeze.

And there across the field was the tree William stood beneath for the past few hours, but instead he could now see the tiptop branches. There placed within the various branches was a magnificent nest. It was huge! “Look Stephen! It’s the home I saw! I remember, it’s a nest. Who’s nest is it? Do you know? Did you see? Can I see?…”

His questions kept coming…never giving Stephen a chance, “If you stop talking maybe the owner will come back.”

To William they sat there forever, but in truth it was about ten minutes….but then they heard it soar…

Our tree swayed as the glorious animal swept pass the tree, the sturdy branched swayed. A large shadow panned across the mountains and covered the field. A call rang out, blaring but also soothing…

Wings vast like the horizon, and as brown as the darkest earth. A head white as a snow peak, but with an eye as yellow as the sun. Talons as sharp as a broken branch, but caring as it latches onto its home. The eagle was broad and strong as the mountains, but loving towards her children.

The boys sat their in silence not wanting their sight to disappear of fade, but William had to ask, “Is this what you were doing earlier,” He whispered as quiet as possible?

Stephen nodded, “We were observing the same sight but from different angles. Do you want to stay? Or do you want to go back home?”

The look in William’s eye said it all. They continued to watch the mother tend to her babies. The sky continued to fade to a soft dark blue, slowing changing from day to dusk. The magnificent sight was the perfect experience for two brothers to share. ❤

Nest

Complicated.

The thought of moving is exciting and thrilling. It gets my mind chasing and springing to life! What will my neighbors be like? How will the neighborhood fair, to right now? When will I start having kiddos!?!😊 Will my home be as colorful as I imagine? Will the sky be as beautiful or more so?

On the other hand, moving also means leaving my family behind. They can always come visit, they can always come and see me. But it won’t be often. I won’t see my mom, sister, and brother everyday at work. There won’t be birthday parties once a month (pretty much). Holidays will be hard….and I will miss them terribly.

They have always been there and I have missed the occasional crazy chime-in voice when I say something clever. My husband I do, do it often but it’s different when there are various voices. I’ll miss the moments when I want a mama hug, being able to drive to her house and steal one. I’ll miss seeing my nephews grow up into who they will be.

So much sadness comes up when I think about moving, but also excitement…

So I drew this picture because it’s beautiful to me. And I don’t know if I’m in the house that is colorful or if I’m spying on the house that is beautiful.

Hawaii to California to Montana…

The wedding was perfect!  My family is the sweetest! My husband is the dearest! The honeymoon in Hawaii was amazing! Back home is new and exciting!! 

And now we leave for Montana 😎, looking for land.  Hopefully our trip will be successful. But the weather changes will be interesting…Hawaii: high 80s and humid. To California: low 60-70s with rain. To Montana: low 30s and snow….now I wish I owned a hair dryer…


My next post will have some photos from both trips. Have a happy Thursday!! 

❤️emily2jane