Tag Archives: Memory

Random Word: Tremendous

Synonyms: huge, enormous, massive, immense, colossal, prodigious, etc.

First thing that came to mind… sharks.

Which I know is not the best association with tremendous. But I have an irrational fear of sharks. Not that a fear of sharks is not normal, but I fear sharks in places that sharks cannot actually be.

The swimming pool. Early or late practices, where you would see shadows. I would panic sometimes, irrationally, that a shark was stalking me.

In lakes. I once swam a 5K in a fresh water lake (dam) and I was panicking that a shark would appear.

When I was younger. This is more my siblings fault… but I would always have dreams of sharks attacking me, chasing me, or attacking my siblings and I always would save them and die.

My siblings found it hilarious to prank me. Humming the Jaws sound. Setting the family computer screen saver as sharks. Showing me videos of surprise shark attacks. Lovely things like that.

So much so that I cannot watch shark scenes in movies. That if the characters at all end up in a boat or in the ocean I begin to panic that a shark is going to appear. Which I was watching a movie yesterday, Unbroken, intense movie! But there are scenes of the characters surviving on a life boat in the middle of the ocean. I had to skip many parts of the movie… thankfully the music was great at foreshadowing. (I am not spoiling anything. It is in the description of the film.)

I will never watch Jaws! My brothers have tried to convince me for years. “That I’m missing out on a right of passage”, but nope. Not going to happen.

Tremendous….sharks…literally no, but in my brain yes.

The Year 2022

This year, so far, has been full. As you may have noticed, I’ve only been posting chapters of my story. That’s only possible because I can write multiple chapters at once and post them accordingly.

But there are many changes this year. My daughter is three years old, and I cannot believe how time has passed. Her shoulder now fits under the lip of our dinning room table. She is expressing herself with words. She helps and takes care of me as I would to her. Now with her little brother on the way, I can’t help but remember when she was just a small little thing in my arms.

Next… my niece is starting to walk. She will be one year old next month. I just watched a video of a confident little girl strutting down the carpet. Last time I met her was a tiny peanut. No personality, just a little ball of love.

And next… my nephew is turning 15 this year. 15!!! My nephew who is now taller than me by about an inch. My nephew who I remember how he used to chase my dog, Sammy, around the backyard in his onesie. RIP Sammy ❤️ He is turning 15! That’s crazy to me.

The final one for now, but definitely not the last: I haven’t competed in swimming in almost 10 years. I still have dreams about racing, and I remember all the struggles and successes I had in my swimming career. But I haven’t done that in almost 10 years… that’s just amazes me. Especially since I did it for 14 years.

Which is why I am loving writing this story of a boy’s life of swimming. Not everything is from my past, but I’m able to get my desires out of my heart and into a narrative. It’s my way of continuing to live the swimming life without giving up what I have gained in these 10 years.

My husband. My daughter. My expected son. My home. My family.

As much as I love the idea of competing again. It can not measure up to the amount of love I have towards my splendor in life.

Year 2022, has been full; to the fullest. But I’m excited for the years to come. My days competing might be over, but I’m excited for this new adventure!

I’m Sorry.

Life has been non stop so my focus has been elsewhere. But I’m still doing things.

Like I started my nephews Christmas presents. I’ve made custom drawn shirts for them threw the years. A few I’ll have to draw them again for my baby. But I decided to make them custom original shirts. 100% original.

Partly done.

This one is for my youngest nephew. The claw is a stencil I made four years ago. And the stars are all hand drawn.

I’m thinking about making a stencil, but we shall see. It’s not taking me that long to draw the stars. This amount took me maybe 3hrs. The last shirts I did with stars, it took me a few days. Maybe since I have less to do now.

But I’ll show you the finished product when I’m done.

The older nephew’s shirt is same design but since he is taller I’m doing the stars diagonally vertical. I’m excited to see the end result. I need to finish them soon and ship them. The shipping process is still incredibly slow…so I must be quick!

Have a productive Thursday!

Art Through The Years

Well I decided to try and make my small drawings into one cohesive piece. I’m slowly coloring it.

The baby has decided to fight me on dinner. She gets the goods stuff and she argues with me about eating it…

But here is my drawing so far.

These were my drawings that jumped out to me.
A happy frog (from online site neopets) 2007
Classic Couple! 2008
Tinker bell 2011
King Saul veggie tales- 2005

2005…that’s 16 years ago…that’s crazy but awesome that I still have art that far back.

So far

I know drawing random things is maybe not the best, but it keeps the creativity and skills alive.

I must say…I love the Donald and Daisy Duck part. I think I might paint this a bit larger and hang it up somewhere. Definitely represents all married people perfectly.

Enjoy your Thursday! Winter is coming! 🥶❄️

Leaves!

One of my favorite things…

The sounds they create,

Are soothing to the ear.

They sway with the wind,

Dancing to their own tune.

They flutter falling down,

Softly landing in their place.

If you run through them,

They crunch beneath your sole.

If you rake them,

They rustle across the grass.

When I see piles…

I want to submerge myself,

Deep under the leaves.

Leave them alone,

They make the ground golden.

I love it when the leaves change colors, but I love it more when they cover the ground.

It reminds me of my grandparents back brick patio. They had a ginkgo tree; that would let their leaves fall and it would create a “yellow brick road” at least that’s hat my grandma hold say.

One day I was at their house and I decided to do something nice and rake up all the leaves. I got them into a huge pile when my grandma came out. I expected a big thank you, but instead she said… “Oh…can you spread them back out everywhere. I love being surrounded by golden yellow.”

So now when I see piles of leaves I’m at war with myself. Either jump in the pile or leave them alone. Once the color is gone, sure rake them. But if you don’t mind leave them be and enjoy the crunch.

Digital Art
By emily2jane
10-22-21

Sadly this tree died…it was slowly dying over the last few years. But then I got a message that the wind finally did the deed and uprooted the tree… RIP Tree 🧡

Poetry From The Past #2

This is the second poem in my past poetry collection.

Robots vs. Ninjas

Robots

Make that

Squeaky noise.

Like little boys

Fighting

For toys.

Ninjas are silent

And quite

Violent

In dark

Shapeless ways.

Robots vs. Ninjas

Very short battle.

Robots would run

Like cattle.

While the ninjas

Sit in the saddle.

Do not pick

The tin man.

Fly

Like the ninja.

Cuz’

You won’t die.

Well… I have no words. But it’s not too bad. I don’t know why I didn’t use any punctuation back then. But I like the idea behind this poem.

It’s just strange because it is not at all like my normal style. Maybe this one was inspired with my little brother.

There is no way of knowing.

I think the drawing explains it all! 🤓

Enjoy your Saturday! My baby seems to be over the worst!!

The end is near!

Inspired By Poem
emily2jane
10-15-21

Poetry From The Past

Unpacking leads to finding things from your past. I found a treasure… my creative writing/ poetry binder from over ten years ago. I was super creative in 2010. I had more free time in the past.

But here is the first poem I read.

Whom?

Whom…

Do I chase?

Down

The far

Pool.

Me.

Myself.

The girl

Doing it

Perfect

And precise.

She starts out

Ahead.

But I beat her

Dead.

That girl

Who begins

And I end.

This poem cracks me up! I wrote it October 08, 2010. I wonder who my competitor was; that I decided to write a poem based on them. I have no idea…

As I wrote that, I thought it could be me. I used to have that mindset. That I was the best and racing myself was the only opponent better than me. Oh the confidence…

Inspire for poem: Whom?
By emily2jane
10-08-21

I’m enjoying reading things from my past. I am now remembering that I went through a phase of writing sad poetry. Hopefully reading my old poetry will help spark up my old creativity once again. I’ve been in somewhat of a rut lately.

Maybe due to the fact that the hubby and I built a garage/ shed in less than 24 hours these last two days. I was the pair of helping hands to my master builder husband.

Maybe I’ll share that experience next blog.

But anyways…enjoy the weekend! Party time!! For all you young people or people young at heart! Instead, I will be enjoying time at home. It’s supposed to rain today! A nice Saturday at home. Just what I need! 🌧

I blocked my name for privacy.

Word Of The Day: Scion 10-08-21

Synonyms: 1. Cutting, graft, slip, shoot, etc. 2. Descendant, heir, successor, child.

Weighted amounts,

Suffocating

Squeezing the life

Out of you.

Demanding accounts,

Of pressure grating,

Away youth with a knife.

Now anger grew.

Will effort ever count?

Constantly hating;

Everyone is a lowlife.

Days are always blue.

So you could read it from an heir point of view but I also saw parts of my childhood.

When I swam competitively, my dad had lots of expectations. He wanted me to be the best. That I should never fail.

Don’t get me wrong, I am already a super competitive person; but he took it too far sometimes.

The screaming at me because I failed to win, the ridiculing me in front of others, the threatening me about having to walk home out of shame, etc.

At some point I said he could no longer come to my swim meets. I think I was 10…? I forgot to tell him my lane and afterwards, he yelled at me in front of everyone. That time pushed me tears and I had to call my mom to come get me because my dad left me.

Not funny…but funny how different phrases can sting or bring back unpleasant memories.

Pressure” B
y emily2jane
10-08-21

But after that meet, my mom was my new supporter. She was great support. If I lost a race it was, “at least you didn’t drown” or “you did look like you were dying out there.” Haha! And if I won… “good job!” She was the best kind of support ❤️ Don’t get me wrong; my mom is competitive in her own way.

So I guess…parents out there that are competitive… remember not to go too far. My two year old already likes all kinds of sports… so I’m taking my own advice. I don’t want to continue what my dad did, but what my mom did. Maybe with a controlled amount of competitiveness. This is only referring to my daughter. If it’s me alone I’m going to be my ultra super crazy competitive person that I am!! My hubby won’t play games with me. ☹️

Have a family filled Friday! 🏡

Word Of The Day: Ossify 08-25-21

Synonyms: harden, stiffen, rigidify, etc.

Fighting,

Yelling,

Tears.

The one becomes two.

Hurting,

Shunning,

Glares.

Hate lives in the forefront.

Harding,

Corroding,

Stiffen.

The heart beats for no one.

Accepting,

Trying,

Defeated.

Timing in love is key.

Freeing,

Living,

Peace.

Love yourself first.

Most everyone has experienced his cycle. Unless you were one of the lucky ones and you had your other half from the get go.

The word is ossify. I must be honest I’ve never heard of this word. When I saw the synonyms my first thought of a break up. My first break-up was…wow thirteen years ago. 😳 Haha, but I tried to remember the emotions I felt after. I also asked my hubby; his was about seven years ago…but he was no help; he was trying to be too deep. 😅

My vacation has been exciting but full. I’m enjoying myself, but I’m also taking this chance to catch up on my sleep. Hopefully my sleeping schedule changes from that of a teenager.

Give your other half, or even yourself a hug today. Love is strong in any form. Enjoy your Wednesday! 🌺

Loss of Love Cycle
emily2jane
08-25-21

Art Through The Years! #2

Originally I had planned to post a comic, but due to different reasons my self drawing came out terrible… like I looked more like a fifty year old man…haha 😂 So I gave up on that route. I’ll try again another day; when my brain is in the mood to draw my face.

Instead I’ll be posting a few more drawings I’ve done. Yes, some of the drawings were inspired by images from the internet, ten or more years ago. So these new drawings are my impressions of my impressions. Impressions are always the best route to take.

Why would you want to paint someone’s work identical…it’s already been done. Put your own spin on it!

2010

It’s not too bad. I will admit, not too bad for the markers I used here. They were those fifty pack of markers…. I don’t know the brand, but they are like $10 from Walmart.

My first day 2021

Can I just say… I want this dress! Maybe I should take sewing up again… 🤨

2021!

This next completed drawing is a mixture of three separate drawings. I added a bit to fill the spaces, but I actually do love the end result!

These are the three drawings:

2011
2011
2010

When you see the finished picture you will see I only used two of the fairies. But I thought it would be too crazy. So I only used the ideas of the flowers; but of course I tweaked them a little.

2021 Finished

This one I framed! I’ve framed others, but only if I really liked the outcome.

2010

As you can see… I was kind of terrible at profiles. I always seemed to chop their noses off…haha! Also the proportions in this drawing seems off.

I do remember though, that the butterfly lines was done with silver sharpie! I will be doing that, or something similar with my 2021 drawing.

2021

I’ve decided to change the colors in this drawing. I want to try something new!

Well I want to continue but…It seems like my baby is getting a little cold. It’s the first day it rained, this season. We needed it desperately, but my daughter just took a two hour nap at 5pm… meaning I’ll be going to bed sometime after 12am. If I’m lucky.

But I’ll be posting my pictures here and there. I’m enjoying going through the pictures, that I chose to draw over ten years ago; reliving my interests.

Enjoy your Friday! We shall see what my brain decides.