Looking back through old photos on Facebook, I came across one from 11 years ago. It’s amazing how much time has gone by and How much I’ve changed since then. Funny as it may be I recognized my ex boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend that a child should never have when they’re 15-16. (Just my opinion) But I had one and looking back at it it was terrible idea and a great learning experience as well.
It’s amazing how looking back at my younger years I remember all the hardships I went through as a teenager, but also as all the great times I had.
In regards to the ex-boyfriend… This doesn’t need to be said but it’s what I’m thinking about. And I have a daughter now so my mind thinks of the future for her. My advice to her in the future would be…
If you like someone and they don’t know you exist it’s OK. Just live out your teenager years having a crush on that person and don’t need someone else. One of my friends convinced me that my crush would never know and that I should date this other guy because we would look good together. I was young and naïve and didn’t really know what I was doing. Also when you are young and wanting to experience love you just make stupid mistakes.
Another thing you don’t think about when we were young, don’t date someone who you are on a competitive team with. Because I didn’t know it was possible…but I wanted to break up with him probably two months before I actually did. I told my coach that things weren’t working out and I was going to end it with him. (coach always knew everything anyways so we always just told her everything). But in response coach told me, “hold off until after the season is over so he doesn’t compete terrible.” Never realized that winning trumped my happiness. I guess It did.
I guess my advice to my daughter would be keep that crush and just stick with that. If you never become something it’s fine. Crushing on someone is more fun than dating at that age anyways. Unless you find that person you’ve been best friends with since forever and you guys stick together and then end up getting married, but that’s one in a million… Just wait until you’re older to date. You were right mother! The other is don’t date someone you compete with because your coach might choose winning over you.
I guess the last thing would be don’t hold onto the crush for forever. When you both are leaving and going off and starting your life just confidently go up to that person and say, “ I liked you. You were a great crush to have through my teenage years. But that’s all it was was a crush. Thank you for being that for me. Have a great life.” And then just walk away.
Because if you don’t, it kind of is just there forever. If you don’t give your crush closure it just lingers. Not saying I’m crushing or anything, It’s just a weird feeling. I guess one sided crushes never really go away until you speak them out. To summarize: keep the crush and just do that, until one day you guys are both leaving going separate ways, just tell him and move on.
Cover photo: by emily2jane