If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
So actually before I knew where my name came from, I thought about wanting my name to be changed.
I had thought about keeping the Emily but changing my middle to Elizabeth. Because I used to love Clifford.
Then for a bit I wanted my initials to be DW. I didn’t care what my name would be. But that show Arthur was my favorite, and I of course I gravitated towards the sister DW. I’m amazed my older brother still likes me after those years. Haha!
Then in elementary school I wanted to have the name Samantha so that I could match my friend’s name. We could be Samantha twins. Instead I’ve given my daughter this name. funny how things come full circle.
In high school I liked my name. But I wanted a new last name. I had even thought about changing my last name to my mom’s maiden name. But then at some point I decided to see my last name as my brothers’ name.
Then pretty much the rest of my teenage years I dreamed about finding my Mr. Right. And I actually looked up men last names and wondered what my name would be.
In my twenties, I met my husband. My only true name change. And I’m so happy I kept everything the same. My mom chose my name because she liked it. And I could never be anyone, but who I am.
Love you mama ❤️
Enjoy your Sunday!
Three days until my husband comes home!! The kiddos and I have been counting down the days.
The cover photo is of my newer daughter. She likes to have capes. Her siblings don’t know yet, but she is the boss. Haha!
Honestly when I read this my first thought was “oh! A bar that specializes in chocolate. So everything is chocolate inspired on tap.” Now that would be amazing!!
Like you could go in and order a chocolate sundae, with hot fudge and Oreo crumbles.
Or you could order wafer cookies and dip them in chocolate moose.
Or just get the creamy hot coco on tap.
Or…you get me…
Actually it’s a pretty good idea. It would make bank. Because when women need chocolate, they need chocolate!
I can even see it in my mind. I would make it be moody. I would paint it like a moody library. So you could go sit in a nook and eat your indulgence in secret. Because I don’t know about all women; but since I have kids, I eat my chocolate in secret. In a corner. Alone.
But all to say. Everything would be made with the best ingredients. Coconut sugar, honey, or maple syrup. There are various allergies out there. I would use the good flour, unenriched. So that you could eat anything without the fear of puffing up or swelling. Because if a place like this became a thing, I would want to divulge in eating everything. EVERYTHING!! Haha!
But if this prompt meant an actual chocolate bar…
I guess I already make my favorite chocolate bar. It’s made with coconut sugar. It is all homemade. I use it for chocolate chips, pudding, etc. it’s more of a dark chocolate.
But I guess I would love to go to Europe and watch a chocolate master make milk chocolate. I’ve tried to look up different brands or recipes and the heating of the milk is a secret. I don’t want to use milk powder. I wouldn’t be able to eat it.
But I guess that’s my dream bar. Discovering how to make a milk chocolate bar from scratch.
But I like the Chocolate Bar idea more. Maybe call it Coco Bar. And….
I’m getting too invested in this idea.
Have a great Friday. Maybe have some chocolate…I know I will be.
I try to make up a few batches of chocolate. So I have it for whatever. I need to get more molds though…
I didn’t make this chocolate 100% correct. I didn’t have my blender to make powder sugar so I made it with normal coconut sugar. So it would be grainy. But I’m only going to use it for baking. Or melting.
Just incase some chocolate master sees this picture and is appalled at my chocolate. Haha!
Obviously husband and kids can’t be my personal belongings…
#1 My giant metal bowl.
We have finally move again. We are in a townhouse for a year so that we can save up some money for a down payment. But we are unpacking boxes, and I found my giant metal bowl! It can rise four loaves of bread at once. It’s amazing. It’s been about two years since I packed it away.
#2 Mr. Pinky
I unpacked my giant pink bear named Mr. Pinky. It’s the one stuffed animal I didn’t want to pass down to my kids. However, my youngest saw Mr. Pinky and it was live at first sight. The hugs she gave him, made me happy but strangely possessive of him. Haha!
If you want to figure out what is your most important things; live in a 200sq ft camper and then a single 300sq ft room for a year. You unpack your belongs and it can make you cherish them more.
#3 The Sound Bar
The sound bar has been with us this whole time. Having the ability to play my music out load is a gift. Music somehow helps me with the chaos. And the more rock n roll type music calms my kids. I’m other parents worst nightmare.
#4 Berry
My two foot blue rubber chicken. I love Berry. He’s been with us the whole time too. Even in the camper. He has had his own perch this whole time.
#5 My skinny clothes
Since last August I have lost forty-five pounds. So I’m so happy I haven’t gotten rid of any of my clothes through the years. Because my clothes from ten years ago are now fitting. The clothes I wore when I had just begun dating my husband fit. It’s amazing.
I don’t have a picture of this. But believe me! Most of them fit!! Some I will just pack away and save for my daughters.
I know there are more, but I can’t think of them. As I unpack things I’ll find more. But for now I’m good with these few. Small blessings.
Enjoy your Tuesday!💕
Some tricks for losing weight. Realistic tricks:
I paid for 6 months of wall Pilates. But I got my deal on Pinterest for 50% off. I thought if I paid for it I would commit to it. And I did. (It was $36 for 6 months).
A big one is cut out all sugar. I know it’s quite hard because sugar is in everything. But switch to making things with honey, maple syrup, or coconut sugar. What I learned from my years. For coconut sugar it’s a 1:1 ratio. But for maple syrup or honey it’s a 2/3 to a cup. So if a recipe calls for 1 cup sugar it would be 2/3 cup honey or maple syrup.
But also I did do the fasting part of watching your foods. It was included on the wall Pilates app. So it really did help to quit my nighttime snacking. I always loved to indulge in random sweets or chips at night. But if you don’t eat from 6pm to 7am you burn so many calories. As a woman you need to fast for 12hrs. My husband said a man needs to fast for 16hrs I think. Happy I’m a woman! But the fasting really helped.
The last one was stress. I don’t recommend it. I’ve been in stress maybe the last six months. I don’t stress eat. I only overly indulge myself when I’m depressed. I know when I’m in my depression. Painting helps with that. But I haven’t been in depression for a bit. I at least know the signs. I tell my husband and he super helps me stay motivated to get out of it. But back to weight. I know the stress helped me lose weight, but not a recommendation. Live happily and stress free.
But I’m human. I always eat the whole bag of chips. I can’t stop myself. Especially these spicy bbq chipotle chip we’ve found. If I’m given a bag, it’s mine. And it will be gone in a sitting. My husband now hides the chips. Haha!
When all seemed lost…”You are doing a great job raising your kids.”
That’s what all moms want to hear when we are struggling.
Being a mom is the hardest job ever! I’m not just a mom. I’m a stay at home mom. I do everything. I cook from scratch. I do all the laundry. I keep the house clean. I paint almost everyday. I homeschool my two eldest kids. My family is never hungry. Never dirty. Never…
But some days I feel like I’m failing. Like I’m screwing up their lives. That I’m not doing enough for them.
And when moms begin to spiral down that black hole, there’s only one thing that helps bring us out of it. Some stranger telling us that “we are doing a great job!” Or “hold in there mama, you are doing great.” Not a family member or a friend. But someone who doesn’t know anything about us. Because they see our hard work, without knowing anything.
Many a times I’ve begun to spiral and I’ve been blessed to be told I’m doing great. It helps so much.
So if you see a mom struggling today. Take a short moment in your day, and stop and tell her she is doing a great job. Maybe she doesn’t desperately need it right there. But eventually in the future when she needs to hear it, she will remember your words. One way of another your words will help her. But to a mom that is indeed struggling, and spiraling, you will really bless her. Don’t feel bad if she starts to tear up randomly. Because all of her self doubt and worry of not being a good mom, will be swept away with the simple phrase.
“You are doing a good job, mama.”
(I’m tearing up remembering when it happened to me.)
My daughter is starting Unit 4 of her school year, and for reading she is learning poems!! So I decided to teach her about them more deeply, by writing one with her almost every lesson. I might give it to her as a book when she gets bigger. Just something fun to do with mom.
I write the first line. Then she writes the next. I would give her choices of rhyming words. She is doing great!
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
Three different pairs of shoes came to mind.
First: My black combat boots.
Those shoes were throughout my teenage years. I wore them everywhere. They were so comfy. They laced up, but had a zipper. They went mid shin. Oh! I loved those shoes. They made me feel confident.
They took me to several different places. They took me to trivia nights. I was always so nervous to go to trivia. I’m not a social butterfly, but I wanted to try and work on my social skills. Those boots went with me.
I wanted to go to a Ball. (Yes. Think princess) but I had to stand before a panel of judges and say why I thought I should be selected as a Pasadena princess. I wore those combat boots. I looked cute, but compared to the other girls around me I looked tough. Haha! To help end your curiosity, I was not selected. But I still got to go to the ball, just because I tried. Getting ready was more fun than actually being there. That was too much socializing for me.
I wore those boots when I had coach banquets. They helped me walk into a situation I did not want to be in. Public speaking. Terrible. But my shoes were cute.
The shoes finally died. I really do miss that shoe. Maybe I’ll get another pair one day. But I got those from Nordstrom rack. They were on sale for $50. Normally $180. I can’t afford shoes like that anymore.
Second: My wedge sandle heels.
I love these heels. They are the most comfortable high heeled shoe I own. The straps are a light tan color. The wedge is light brown. They are quite tall. About three inches. So I’m taller than my husband when I wear them.
But I feel so pretty and fancy when I wear those shoes. My posture is also perfect when I wear heels.
Fun story. My mom and I got the same shoes at the same time. I tried them on and said they were so comfy, that my mom found a pair, rusty orange straps, and she thought they were super comfy too. So we got them together. I don’t think she has them anymore. But I do!
They are currently in storage. But occasionally I wish I had them currently. Some outfits would just pop a bit more with those shoes. My confidence would be back. I’m not one, but some women can wear the heels and deal with their toddlers. I can’t. My toddler is super fast and sneaky. Heels would just make it that much harder.
So as long as my feet stop growing with having babies, I’ll wear them again. At some point.
But they have taken me to dances, family weddings, dates (with hubby), all events where I felt the most fancy, just because I could dance the night away in those shoes. (without any pain!)
Third: My black short snow boots.
Its silly. But I’ve had those boots for so many different milestones in my adult life. I had them as my first daughter grew up. I wore them 95% of my pregnancy with my son. Also with my newest daughter.
I hiked trails, our old property, sledding, snowman, snowball fights, etc. And the boots still live on today. Merrel footwear is awesome! Expensive!! Buy them on sale, but they last for several years. Instead of buying a pair of shoes every two months for $12, it makes more sense to spend the price tag and not buy shoes for several years. (Not a sales pitch, just like the shoes!!) I like to use things until they are falling apart. And even then I still keep them sometimes. My husband usually has to throw them away, because I can’t seem to part with them.
But yeah. Those black boots are my favorite! But there is no snow…so they are too in storage. I can’t wait to have a closet big enough to have everything out! And me and my daughters can have a fashion show in mommy’s closet.
I’m excited for that day. I really want an extra closet in the house. And I’ll put all of the clothes I’ve been hanging onto. And for chores my daughter will get tickets. The tickets will allow them to wear clothes from that closet. But not to keep.
Just a way for them to “shop” without actually spending their money. Instead it’s hard work “buying” them.
I don’t know if that will be a thing, maybe they will just raid my closet like I used to do to my mom and sisters. (With permission) but good memories.
I think my most used shoes right now are my slippers. I wear them everyday, for almost 80% of my day. They are old, flat, and uncomfortable, but free. I like free.
Enjoy your Thursday! Just finished making my tortillas. Hubby wants Chicken Tortilla Soup tonight!!
What’s the first impression you want to give people?
People just get the shield I throw up in social situations.
My first impression is not by my design. I am still socially uncomfortable. I’m not awkward I’ve come to find out, I’m uncomfortable.
So as much as I want to give a great first impression, I usually am quiet, alone, and terrified.
I probably look angry or annoyed to others. That my resting face was glaring and now it’s scared.
So yes I would love my first impression to be confident, or togetherness, or calmness. But instead it’s my shield of I’m uncomfortable and I don’t want to be here. Haha!
But having kids has really helped me. I can’t have my shield up when I’m with my kids. So if my kids are with me, I am less terrified and more focused on them with a hint of acknowledgement that people are there too.
So as much I love quiet alone time at home, in social gatherings I need my kids around. Because through the years I’ve gone back to being quiet with grown ups.
I don’t know how to be around people. I haven’t needed to living up north. But going to church last Sunday was a huge wake up call, that all the hard work I did before is gone. I started to have an anxiety attack again. But I was able to trick my brain into still functioning because I was holding my baby girl. I could give her 100% of my focus.
So…I guess what I’m saying from this is don’t be discouraged if you are someone who is socially awkward or like me, uncomfortable. You will evenly find something that helps you. For me it is my kids. I know for others it has been a pet, topics, food, etc. maybe all you need is something tangible to touch to keep you grounded in gatherings. Mine before was doodling. I would be drawing in a corner somewhere. This is still my go to if my kids are not around. But mostly it’s because I love to draw. But try different things. I hope and pray that all challenged social people find the niche. Also I pray that confident social people go easy on us. It takes more then just throwing us into social situations to make us be immersed in people. But to us, we are drowning in anxiety if you do this.
So for both sides. Be patient. It can get better with hard work.
Also. Sometimes people’s first impressions are not the truth. That’s it’s just their shield that protects them. So don’t write someone off after the first meeting. That it can take a few for them to show you their true first impression.
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?
This is not true. Not all baby clothes are keepers.
Buttons… I despise buttons on the back of clothes for infants and toddlers. Snaps, good. Pull overs, good. Zippers….not infants but yes for toddlers. Buttons…nope.
Boys button up shirts are fine. But who decided that buttons as the clasps on infant clothes was a good idea. Did that person ever try to button clothes on an infant? Probably not.
I don’t mind buttons as decorative on the back, but it better be snaps underneath.
I used to like all clothes. When I just had my first daughter it was fine. I had time for the buttons. Now being on third child, there’s no time for buttons. Haha!
It’s a simple thing, to most. But to me it’s definitely a big thing. Haha!
Cooking food for my family. Hearing my husband praise my food. Or even better, my kiddos yelling, “this is the best food ever, mama!”
Trying to be patient. I struggle with this one. But when I do succeed I usually get huge smiles from my kids.
The end of the day hugs. Usually at the end of a day I feel defeated. Like there were times I could have had mor patience. Or could have made better food. Or given my husband more attention. But usually at the end of those days I get my kids coming up to me saying, “you are the best mama ever! I love you,” and finishing with hugs and kisses.
Fitting into my skinny pants. When I’m good and stay within my healthy food intake I can fit into those clothes that should be packed away, but I keep them out to motivate myself. And as soon S I get to that point I….will be pregnant again. Haha!
Sometimes I just need a hug. When I’m feeling discouraged or useless, I need a hug from my hubby. His hugs gives me so much more energy, that I feel motivated to finish out the awful day.
Writing a post. Posting something on my blog makes me think that I’m having a more accomplished day than I might actually be having. But publishing something can motivate me to be extra productive. Which I have made breakfast, started bread, cooked food for my husband’s upcoming trip, started a load of wash, and have my kids ready for the day. Now I’m posting something. Pretty full first half of the day.
Swimming. Anytime I swim I feel rejuvenated and ready for life. I miss swimming. I really want to be in a pool.
Motivation can come from anything. Things said, things you do, things are done, memories, etc. It’s not going to be a generic motivation moment, you might have to look through your life and find unconventional types of motivation. They are out there!
How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?
I am tall. Shorter than a stop sign, but taller than a little old lady.
I have dark brown, soft, full, wavy, curly, and straight hair. When I let it grow out, it’s almost to my butt, but currently it’s to my shoulder blades. However, I always have it in a bun or braid, because my children like to play with it; if it’s free. and it’s almost like a dark chocolate color.
My clothes are comfortable. With being a mom, I want comfort and coverage. Because my it seems like my only time to sit, is when we are going grocery shopping. When I was a teenager, I would wear all colors! Any patterns! My clothes were fun and different. Now I stick to gemstone colors. Dark blues, dark pinks, purples. It’s kind of boring really, but I won’t be able to wear my fun clothes until my kids are all above two.
I’m naturally quiet. You may not even realize I’m with you. I like to just sit and listen, and doodle. But that was before being a mom. Instead I’m running around chasing my kids. Constantly telling them to leave their siblings alone. I feel like everyone is watching me. But thankfully, I have kids who are polite and somewhat well behaved in public. Once home, all bets are off; but I get told several times, that my kids are so well behaved. I smile, but inside I say, ‘if you only knew.’
I’m an artist. Or at least I really want to be one again. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t drawn or painted anything. I miss smelling like paint. Or having market stains on my fingers. But my kids come first.
I’m a swimmer. So I have a swimmer build. Even though I’m about twenty pounds overweight, I still seem fit. It’s just the mama pouch that is hard to get rid off, after kids. All moms know what I’m talking about. But I miss smelling like chlorine. I miss my body hurting because swimming is the best exercise for me. But we don’t live next to a pool, also I have a seven month old that needs mama almost every thirty minutes.
So I’m me, but I’m not me. But not forever. Someday I will wear loud clothes, smell like paint, and have chlorinated smelling hair. Someday…
Taken on the 4th
Most of my art is mostly just photography. All on my phone. Nothing special. But mostly of my kiddos.
emily2jane 