Just like the title. I don’t really care what book, just a book, at this point.
Especially with a new baby, I have very little free time. I have small bits throughout the day. And only a precious 1-2hrs at night.
Which you might be thinking, 1-2hrs is a long time. But it’s really not. Because I have a new baby with me. She could be wide awake. She could be starving and eat for the whole time. Or occasionally, she will be asleep. But it’s also dark in the room because my husband has to go to bed early. Also I have the problem of staying up to finish the book. No matter how long the book is. Once I stayed up until four a.m. to finish a book. I can no longer do that. Sadly.
But throughout the day I have only small amounts of time l; which I fill with writing, texting, playing a game, or sometimes napping. All while feeding a baby. That is key! So if she starts choking I drop everything and focus on her.
So recently I’ve just been reading through my old posts. Like my short stories, reflection posts, and most recent my Life Of Two Best Friends: College book. Which has been great because I got inspired yesterday and wrote ten chapters!! I still have to edit them, but I at least got the story moving again.
So I would love to read a new book or at least a book that I know I love. However our newest addition to the family takes president over anything. Which I’m okay with. I did it for my first two kids, now it’s her turn.
Enjoy your books!! Don’t take them for granted; there may be a day you don’t get to read when you want. Have a great Monday!
I have prided myself on being that person that always accepts the outcasts. The people that don’t fit in. The people that are socially awkward or loud or alone. Not the people that are quiet and alone to be stalkers, but the people who try to be accepted but always fail. I like those types of people. I’ve always gravitated towards those people.
But this guy was killing me. I knew he was nervous. I knew he was probably not this socially awkward, but seriously. Cheesy pickup lines for the last hour.
“Are you a camera? Because I could smile at you all day long.”
Or
“Do you want to check the tag of my shirt? I think it’s made of, Boyfriend material.”
Or
“My new favorite numbers are one and four. Because you are the one four me.”
These were the few that stood out to me. And I thought they were sweet. Sweet enough to continue to sit at this table. But about thirty minutes into this date he completely changed. His pickup lines were becoming inappropriate. But I had missed my window to leave the table.
I decided I would just stay and be polite. I haven’t really been listening to him speak for the last few minutes. But I wanted to leave a good impression to the other blind date couples around me. Also the hosts. I really wanted to meet someone, and start a life.
I work in an office. I’m the secretary to the CEO. So as you can imagine; I have no life. All my time is spent working or sleeping. But I got invited to this speed blind dating meeting. So I decided to try it out.
Which had been fun in the beginning. I was meeting new people. Learning about different hobbies. But no one was standing out for me. Everyone seemed so sure of themselves and what they wanted in a partner. Whereas me…I had no idea.
I knew I wanted a God fearing man. I wanted someone attractive to me. Not handsome, but someone I found attractive. Handsome people are always caught in the middle of gossip or scandals. I wanted a quiet romance. I would prefer someone my height or taller, but that wasn’t a necessity. As long as my height never came into question of why I was with him. But a big one, for him to have a stable job. He didn’t have to be well off or climbing the ladder of success. But I wanted him to have a stable job that he enjoyed. I didn’t want to have a kept man. Also not a man who would quit his job once we were married; thinking I would be the money maker. My dream was to be a mom. Not especially stay at home. But where I could work half days and spend a good chunk of my day with my kiddos.
But alas, no one really stood out to me tonight; and unfortunately the guy in front of me just won’t stop yapping. He just goes on and on about his gym life. Which tells me we are not a match. I go to the gym maybe twice a month if I feel inspired, or when I know I’m going to be pigging out the next day.
I checked my watch to see if I was near the end of this nightmare of a man. Which was the wrong move. Because when I looked back up at the man across from me he showed annoyance, snobbery, disgust; which was very unattractive on his face.
“Really? You are checking your watch?! I’ve been talking this whole time and you’ve said maybe a sentence worth of words. Are you really that inconsiderate of people’s feelings that you need to check your watch in front of me?”
He was almost shouting at me. Which caused the host to stop speaking and the whole hall grew silent. All eyes were now on our table.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be rude. I…”
“If you didn’t want to be rude you wouldn’t have checked the time in front of me. You wouldn’t have been ignoring me this whole time. You wouldn’t have stayed at this table when the host called for a switch. Something drew you to me. Is it really gone? Or did you just come here to find a quick hook up?”
My head snapped up at that last part. I was not here for a hook up. From my experience, the person who brings up that topic is usually the one trying to accomplish it. That they are trying to throw shade at someone else to cover up their thoughts. “Why would you think that? I’ve been trying to be polite this whole time. I stayed at this table because I thought originally you were just socially awkward, which doesn’t bother me, but I liked your corny pick up lines. So I stayed. But about fifteen minutes into our talk you changed. Your pickup lines became inappropriate. Referencing the bedroom more than anything.”
He flinched at that. Yep. That’s what he had been after.
“I haven’t tried to speak since I discovered we have nothing in common now. I want a God fearing man who wants to find love, not an easy night,” I made sure to speak that last part slowly. To let it sink into the man across from me, but also the people surrounding us now.
“I should have gotten up. Or at least excused myself from the table. But I wanted to be polite to you and the surrounding couples. I wanted to just wait my time and then leave quietly when I could. I apologize for glancing at my watch. But why did you not read the table, and realize that I was no longer communicating with you. Maybe you should have changed the subject or tried to engage me. But instead you just kept saying uncomfortable lines and talking about your gym life. Talking about all the women you meet there and how women should always be fit and active.”
I had planned to be neutral in this outburst, but he was irritating me. The fact that he called me out in front of everyone. He deserves to be put front and center.
I stood from the table. I looked from the other couples to the hosts, “I’m sorry I ruined the atmosphere of your event. I really was here to hopefully meet someone. But I should take my leave and allow the successful couples to finish meeting. Thank you again,” I gathered up my coat and purse and walked from the hall. Not allowing the rude man to say anything more. Tonight was a flop.
.-.-.-.
Instead of heading straight home I decided to sit at the bar area for a bit. I wasn’t going to drink the night away, but a fruity drink sounded delicious. Also, I already needed to get an Uber home , so having one drink was not going to affect my night.
As I had almost finished my drink, a person sat down beside me. I didn’t think anything of it. I turned to have a cheers moment and regretted turning. It was my unfortunate match from before. But he was wasted. He reeked of alcohol.
“You…you…” he stammered. “You ruined my chances of finding someone for the night. I thought you were going to be that person. But I was dead wrong. Instead you made them throw me out. And now I’m blacklisted. Do you know what that means? It means any event of this kind I’m not welcome. They will send my information and pictures to the other agencies. How am I supposed to find someone now. I wasn’t just going to sleep with someone and throw them away. Intimacy can bring people closer. You know about all their faults before you get fully invested.”
I was a little stunned that he was able to have a coherent conversation. But he was indeed scum. The worst kind of scum. I’m happy I spoke out against him. Now he would never be able to tarnish another girl; a girl looking for a fairytale but getting a nightmare instead.
“Maybe you should do your duty and come home with me,” he reached for my hand.
I yanked my hand away. He was entering the dangerous phase of drinking. I got up from my stool and backed away from him.
But he followed, “you are the one who ruined my night. You should feel obligated to fulfill my needs, right?”
He was truly delirious. A screw was loose in his mind. I looked around to see if anyone would be a feasible helper to me in this situation. But the bartender was off on the other side flirting with two girls. He had missed our exchange. There was another man at the bar, but he was snoring. So I was alone. I continued to back away from him. Once in the lobby I would probably find a worker and ask for some help. I wasn’t super tipsy, but I didn’t trust myself to be able to escape seamlessly.
Almost to doors as I backed up, I backed into a body. I turned my head to see my boss was behind me. Henry Halls. I didn’t know if he would help me, but I was going to try. I scampered around Mr. Halls and hid behind him. I latched onto his arm and looked up at him resting my chin on his arm.
“He’s saying I ruined his chance to find someone easy. And that I should be willing to fulfill his needs. Can you get rid of him for me?”
Mr Halls said nothing. He just looked down at me. I probably looked ridiculous. But I was tipsy now. Monday at work I would just surrender my mid year bonus. I continued to look up at him. But his face was still emotionless.
I let go of his arm and stood up beside him. I guess he wasn’t going to help me. I would just get out of here myself. I looked at the wasted man; he was still standing there, but he seemed hunched over. He was starting to enter the downhill spiral of drinking too much. This was my chance.
I looked once more at Mr. Halls and still nothing. So instead I just turned on my heels and sprinted to the lounge doors. But an arm grabbed mine and held me in place.
I was worried it was the drunk man so I turned with a strong fist formed first. It made contact with a hard chest. I peeked open my eyes only to see I had just punched my boss in the chest. I was too stunned to say anything but I tried to back away. But Henry Halls pulled me back into his embrace.
His embrace?! Yes. I looked down at his hands; they were holding me in place in front of him. I was just inches from his chest. He smelled of pine or cedar. It was nice. It was comforting. It was…I rested my head on his chest. That fruity drink was hitting me too hard.
“Kelly Marshall. Look up at me.”
I heard him but I also didn’t hear him. But still I lifted my head to look up into the eyes of Henry Halls; only to be met with a strange look on my boss’ face. Was that a smile…but my boss doesn’t smile…he just…
And he bent down and kissed my mouth. ‘Wait!!!! What??!!!’ He was kissing me. I was kissing him. What’s happening right now. His mouth moved from mine to find my ear, “close your eyes Kelly Marshall or he will know.”
Know what? That this was fake. That my boss was kissing me without permission. That I lost my first kiss…! I stepped out of Henry Halls embrace and slapped him. How could he do that to me. I wanted to be saved, but with words not by stealing something important to me.
Henry Halls looked stunned. I backed away from him. I shouldn’t have hit him, but I was so mad at him, that all I could do now was sprint from the bar lounge. I needed to get out of there. I needed air. Air!
The cold breeze hit my face. I felt a smidge better; like that I could see clearly again. My mind was swimming still; a throbbing headache was in the works. I walked up to the valet attendant only to have my hand grabbed and myself yanked into a black car.
I fell onto the seat. The car door slammed behind me. ‘Where was I?’ The opposite door swung open and in slid Henry Halls in the seat next to me. I turned away from him and tried to escape, but I was pulled away from the door and back into Henry Halls’ arms. “Drive,” he called to the driver and kept a hold on my shoulders.
I was confused what was happening. Why was I here? Why is he here? Why is my head swimming still? Why is he holding me? Why am I letting him? ‘Yeah…why!?’ I tried to get out of his embrace. “Let me go!”
“No.”
“Let me go. The other guy was drunk. And gone. I’m safe now. You can stop pretending. Let go!”
Silence.
I wriggled trying to be freed. I didn’t want anything fake. I wanted something real. And now, I would know that it wouldn’t be one hundred percent real. That kiss was gone. “Let me go!!” I almost screamed.
“Stop fighting me, Kelly.” He pulled me to his chest and hugged me, “I’m not pretending. Can you not see that?”
‘What was he saying. Not pretending. Can I see it?’ In all these years this was the closest I had been to anyone. But with Henry Halls you don’t get this close, you don’t see smiles, you don’t feel anything but criticism or disappointment. “You’re kidding right? I should know?? I should have seen it? You’ve got to be kidding,” I started laughing. But I suddenly stopped when I saw his face. I saw hurt. I saw embarrassment. I saw…sadness… ‘Wow. That fruity drink was making me fantasize things.’
“Seriously, Mr. Halls, I don’t know how I was supposed to see this? If I’ve seen anything from you it’s been disappointment or disapproval.” Again my boss showed hurt on his face. ‘What’s going on?’
“Jeffery, please take Ms. Marshall home. Drop me off here.”
“Wait. Henry. What are you trying to say?” However Henry Halls stilled exited the car. And he was gone.
The car began to drive away, “Wait! Stop the car!”
“But Miss, Mr. Halls said,”
“Stop the car!” And I opened my car door. Before the car had stopped I was out of there, and running back to where we left Henry.
Mr. Halls stood his back to me. I don’t know if it was my imagination or not, but it seemed like he was hunched. Defeated? ‘What was I seeingor thinking about? Henry Halls didn’t care about me. I would have saw it; wouldn’t have I?’ I was just behind him. I don’t know what I was doing, but I needed to know what just happened. “Henry,” I reached out to tap his shoulder.
But instead, Henry swung around quickly startling me too suddenly that I was falling backwards towards the sidewalk. I clasped my eyes closed waiting for the painful thud coming. Nothing. No pain. I opened my left eye to only see Henry’s face. ‘Was that concern I saw?’ He was holding me. Holding me up. In his arms. His arms held me so easily… “Mr. Halls?”
“Henry. I prefer you to call me Henry,” Henry smiled, pulling me back up into a standing position. “You just called me Henry, so it shouldn’t be hard for you to do again.”
‘Henry had a charming smile.’ I couldn’t help but smileback at him, “okay. Henry,” I smiled gleefully. Probably the alcohol hitting me again. My silliness phase was coming out. “Henry?”
Henry turned towards me. His smile still apparent on his face.
His face was glowing. I had never seen this side to Mr. Halls. Henry. Henry was becoming more and more human to me. “Henry.”
Again Henry looked at me. his eyes searched my face this time. What was he looking for? “Kelly Marshall…do you think you could ever see me as your future?”
“No. Future. Like boyfriend? Or husband. Your future. Do you understand?”
I didn’t. What was he talking about? Boyfriend?…I shook my head.
“Can you consider me to fill the role as your boyfriend and eventually your husband?” A red hue was engulfing Henry’s face and ears.
‘Boyfriend? Boyfriend!?!’ I looked at Henry. He was no longer looking at me. He was actually hiding his face from me. I could only see the red on his ears.
“Do you even like me?” I surprisingly was not against the idea, probably the alcohol talking; but it still seemed unrealistic to me. Like why would he choose me. I was just his secretary. I was a nobody.
“Yes. Of course I do! Why would I be asking you this if I didn’t have any intention towards you? I’m not a jerk. Just think about all this time? Have you made mistakes in work? Yes you have; normally you would have been fired but I let it go because it was you. Whenever you have asked for days off, I’ve given them to you; even if it’s been inconvenient to me, because I wanted you to see me in good light. I’ve paid huge sums of money to get rid of your rumors with various people we have had to meet at social gatherings. I thought you knew all this. I thought you were just being discreet. When I kissed you earlier I thought you wanted it too. That you hanging onto my arm was you being cute and asking. But then you slapped me. I was confused, then you vanished. And now we are here. And you are looking at me like I’m the crazy one. That I’ve been imagining everything before this.”
This was too much for me. He liked me. He’s been thinking I liked him back. He wanted to kiss me. He seems so hurt. I wish I had known. I should have known. Other office workers had mentioned that I must be a super lucky person since I still had a job. That others had been fired over what I had done. I should have known. He was right. I was the one who had been confusing him. “I’m sorry Henry. I wish I would have known. Had I known I would have…”
“Don’t say anything you don’t mean. I apologize for stirring all this up. Please excuse me,” Henry waved down a taxi.
“No!” I jumped up, swung the door of taxi open, and yelled, “no need. Drive on,” and I slammed the door shut. The taxi roared off.
“Why did you do that?”
I was sober now, but I don’t know why I chose this to stop him, but I hooked my hand behind his neck and stood on my tippy toes to kiss him back. I wanted him to know I was serious about what I wanted to say, but instead of saying it with words I would use actions; like he had earlier.
“Kelly. Do you know what you are doing?”
Henry had yanked me off of him. At this moment I didn’t know what I was doing. Was he not into this anymore. Was I being too rash; should I be more reserved? I just kind of stood there frozen. Maybe I should just leave. Maybe the window was closed. I didn’t speak. I was just going to leave and probably quit my job via email. I would just disappear from this life all together. I backed away from him. “I’ll just be going…”
“Oh no you don’t,” Henry grabbed my outstretched hand and pulled me back into his embraced. “You’re not running away. You kissed me back so this is your fault.”
He pulled me back to his body and kissed me.
“And this.”
He kissed me again.
“And thi…”
I shut him up before he could finish. ‘Just kiss me.’
School yesterday seemed to be better. Maybe without the constant stupidity of running into the upperclassmen, my days were becoming less stressful. I was actually able to focus on my classes; I even was able to complete homework assignments in classes. Which in turn, allowed me to catch a nap in the afternoon before practice. So I was able to be refreshed, and ready to go again.
After the day of helping Chad, the upperclassmen left me alone. Chad had told the other guys to leave me alone; at least until Bryan returns. So hopefully I can figure out college and be better situated for the mock meet.
…
“Everyone gather around,” Coach called out to everyone as we did our stretches.
We all walked over confused at the sudden change. Maybe it was another one of coach’s last minute changes that means death or learning. I’m hoping for learning.
“Bryan has switched schools. He is now leading the Eagles team in Helena. Our rival school.”
‘What? He left?’ I looked to coach but he did not look my way.
“I am guessing Bryan used his family’s name to be able to pull such a stunt. And as you can see a few other A string teammates are gone as well.”
I checked over to where the upperclassmen usually stood, and only Chad stood there. ‘What is going on? Bryan was not the type to run away. He seemed more like the type to be kicked off the team before leaving.’
“I’m telling you all this, just to let you be aware. Not that it changes anything. The mock meet will still tell me who will be the A string athletes. But now there are more spots open, as long as you want it enough you have a chance. Now get in the pool.” Coach started off to his chair. Like all was back to normal.
“Coach,” I had caught up to him. “What’s going on?”
“George. Set an example and listen to your coach. We can talk after practice. Now go.”
Coach was right. No sense in arguing. I walked back over to the top lane. Chad stood there too. The lane beneath me looked to me for the warm-up set. ‘Lead George. You are the leader now.’ “Eight hundred freestyle warmup. Let’s go!” I leapt into the pool.
…
“What happened Coach?” I stood in Coach’s office. Jeremy and Chad had both stayed behind.
“Bryan tried to get you kicked off the team.”
“What! Why and how could he try to do that?”
“Oh, believe me George. If I had not been the coach, Bryan and his father would had succeeded. Had I not been notified of their last minute meeting with the headmaster you would have been probably expelled.”
Coach cut me off before I could respond.
“They I were trying to twist the truth about why Bryan was suspended from the team. That it was all your fault, for manipulating and falsifying what really happened. They painted you in such poor light by the time I arrived. Luckily I had the video on my phone and I killed their scheme. Which in turn made them look bad. And before the headmaster could give them their verdict they exclaimed they quit this school and left the office.” Coach rubbed his forehead and seemed to stare into nothingness.
‘Wow. I knew Bryan was coward. But I never thought him to be a quitter. Really I thought he would be someone to be kicked off the team before just running away. What a disappointment of my rival.’ “What now Coach?”
“Between the two of you, you must decide who will now lead this team.”
I looked at Chad. He seemed determined. But I didn’t know if the rest of the team would listen to him. Since he was originally part of the upperclassman group. Not that I wanted the role. I didn’t think I was ready for that, but everyone listened to me already.
“I don’t want to be the referee on this decision. Go back and discuss it among yourselves. But starting tomorrow this team needs leadership. Now go back to your dorms.”
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
The meaning of Emily is rival or striving. Which makes sense with my personality. I’ve always put in great efforts for everything in my life. My art, my schooling, my family, my husband, my kiddos, etc. everything was hard work for me. Strangely enough my mom named me right!
Because my name is not a family name. My mom just liked the name Emily. When I was younger I was a little bummed I was not given a family name. But as I grew up I fell in love with my name. Now I cannot have another name. It’s my name. And now I have a daughter that I gave her a name that I have loved since I was little. But it’s not a family name either. So in a way she’s just like me.
However…I know I did a school assignment that was based on your name. And Emily meant something different back then. I probably have the school assignment somewhere packed away. But I wonder…
In a sense you should be proud of yourself. Your pride should be there because you take pride in the type of leader you are. Prideful leaders are always around. But you want the right kind of prideful leaders. Not ones that are proud to be in charge. But ones that are proud to be a role model in their place of leadership. That’s always a hard thing for people in power. Sometimes the power goes to their heads.
When I was on the swim team I was consider the leader for a small amount. But I always tried to be fair, honest, strong, and be someone that I myself would follow.
I struggled with being non biased and confidence. I would sometimes choose winning over wanting to include everyone. I’ve always struggled with confidence. Not when it was about just myself, but when I had to decided for other teammates. I would sometimes question myself. Being the leader is hard. But knowing what you struggle with, is the first step.
Being the swim coach was less stressful. In a strange way. I had more confidence in my decisions because I knew what my swimmers were capable of. Also being non biased was easier as a coach. Because winning races were part of being a team. So I had to put swimmers in races that could win first. But then also spread out the swimmers so we could place in multiple races. So I had to be diligent in my decisions. To win, but get as many swimmers in each race for points.
But these are just my experiences with being the leader. Others have didn’t ideas of what a good leader should be. Everyone is allowed their own idea.
Another is in our household. I am the leader of my kiddos unless daddy is home. And then he is the big leader. As my daughter says, “Daddy is the big boss, Mommy is the medium boss, I am the small boss, and brother is the Tiny boss. Sister is just a cute ball of love for now.” So I’m the medium boss; which I prefer. Now that I have so many different responsibilities; I prefer to know I don’t have to make the big decisions. My husband still discusses them with me, but ultimately it’s his decision.
Medium boss now must figure out dinner…maybe I’ll make my husband decide. I really dislike choosing. He does too, but he is the big boss, so Mwahahahahaha!!
I don’t see it as clutter. It’s just that our house is too small for us. We are in a two bedroom one thousand square foot house. Which was fine when we only had one kiddo and we didn’t know if we could have more kids. But now have three kids.
I was good at fitting two kids into this house. I just had to get clever with storage.
But now with our newest addition I’m struggling to find space for her things. And newborns have so much stuff! That I’m surprised I was able to fit things in various places.
But I have no more dresser space. I’ve got all my clothes hung up in the closet. More things in bins. My dresser space is now one drawer newest baby, and three drawers my son.
But you would be surprised and impressed with how much I’m able to fit into this house and make it seem empty.
The house we are dreaming about for the future is going to be about six thousand square feet, that’s a bit better right? Haha! But believe me when I say we have enough things to fill that size house up. But what will be nice, is we will have enough space to spread it all out.
But we shall see. We are ready to start a new chapter in life.
So to me it’s not cluttered, it’s just poorly organized.
My love of elephants has never faded. I had a book called Emily Elephant; and it was my favorite book. I still have it; and I read it to my daughter.
But strangely enough my love of elephants never extended outwards. I didn’t have elephant stuffed animals or elephant on my clothes. But I did truly love them.
When we would go to the zoo I loved to watch the elephants.
Whenever there was a cute picture of baby elephants and mama elephants on Facebook I would take a screenshot. I had several elephant pictures.
I wonder if that’s why I was never a huge fan of the Elephant’s Child audio book. We would listen to books as kids at bedtime. And we either listened to Peter and the wolf, which was terrifying, or Elephant’s Child. The elephant was so annoying and there was a crocodile. I really dislike crocodiles. But I wonder if that’s why…?
When I was a teenager, I drew out my family as animals. I can’t remember what everyone was. My younger brother was a snake. One of my sisters was an owl. My mom was a happy fluffy mama bear. But I know I was a baby elephant. I could even draw that elephant right now, as if it was yesterday.
Something like this. I am holding a sleeping 3 week old at the moment.
But elephants are so happy. Baby elephants follow their mamas. Mama elephants protect their babies. I love them still. So much so that both of my daughter’s baby showers were both pink elephants themed. My eldest daughter likes elephants; so I’ll have to see if I passed on the love for elephants to my newest daughter.
So easiest daily prompt for me, favorite animal….Elephants!!
Photo from Facebook 2018Screenshot from Facebook 2017
Not thinking recently. Like back in my childhood. I have trouble remembering the driving part of trips. I remember the destination, but not the driving bit. I’m sure my mom remembers. Haha!
But I can’t remember where we were going. I think to a beach. But we would always get to a part of the drive and have to hand crank our windows up as fast as possible or the smelly duck farm smell would waft into the car and never go away.
There was another time that we were I think going to a different beach and we had to drive by a tall tower. Now I know it was a Catholic Church bell tower, but back then I asked my big sister what that was…thinking she would give me a normal answer. Instead she tells me that it’s a place where they burn dead people. That as you drive you have to roll up your windows quickly or the car would be filled with dead bodies particles. So of course more than half of my life I believed her and would roll up my windows quickly to avoid the dead particles. Haha!
There was another memorable one. By a different beach. One of my first times driving my friends to the beach, I went around my very first roundabout. And yes, I went around it a few times. Four times to be exact! Haha!
Funny how the different things I remember was when we were going to the beach. We went several different places. But I guess we went to beaches the most. Makes sense. You pay to park and then the day is free.
I’m going to try and remember the drive not just the destination.
Chad dove again into the water! This time I ignored everything, instead I searched for that thing. ‘What was it?’ Head bobbing? No. Shoulders rotating wrong? No. Maybe legs? No. What was I missing? Then I saw something. There in his strokes. Nothing wrong with his technique, but a habit that needed to be nipped in the butt. ‘How did Coach see that?’ I glanced over at Coach Jones. He was sitting in his chair staring at me. I held up my hand to ask without words if that was what was wrong. Coach nodded in agreement. I was right.
Chad had came into the wall.”Well…?”
“Coach was right. It’s nothing wrong with your technique. You just have developed a habit of swimming with your thumb out. It’s nothing big, but it you think of it as in terms of drag it is something you are going to want to fix, before it becomes a bigger issue.” Proud of myself, for figuring out the issue.
“My thumb? You’ve got to be kidding me,” Chad climbed out off the pool. “I don’t believe you,” Chad tried to walk away.
“Stop. You know I’m not like Bryan. I’m not out to get anyone. I already confirmed it with Coach Jones. Do you realy not want to get better?” I could have blown him off; I could have not tried to help.
“Cool your jets dude,” Chad held up his hands in defeat. “I’m sorry I’m cautious. Swimming is important and I don’t want to waste my time. I’ve got so much going on, that this is my only escape.”
I paused, “Then why do you hang around Bryan? Until right now; I thought you just did swim to be popular and stay in shape.”
“It’s…” silence. “It’s not that I’m scared, but its better to be on Bryan’s side, than against him. And you may think I’m fast; I’m unable to keep up with Bryan in a race.” Chad tore his cap off. “I just can’t let anything get in the way of my chances in swimming. And if you are on Bryan’s bad side then your college life is going to be impossible.
I laughed. “Yeah. I would know something about that wouldn’t I?”
Chad chuckled, but then it trickled off because he knew it was true. “Yeah. Sorry about that George. I know that you have been having trouble. How has college been?”
“No offense Chad, but I don’t really trust you. Especially since you pretty much admitted to still being Bryan’s guard dog,” I held up a hand, “Sorry. Not dog, but bodyguard. So, instead of telling you anything that might make its way back to Bryan; I’ll just stick to talking about swimming related stuff.” Good thing I changed my word, I think I probably would have left practice with a black eye. “Deal?”
“Deal. Okay so how should I fix my thumb issue? I can’t even feel it?” Chad looked down at his thumbs.
“I don’t know. Maybe tape it? Then at least you will get used to the feeling of how it show be.”
“Sounds good,” Chad nodded and started walking off to the office for some tape. “You should start working on your lung capacity. Do 12x25s of shooters on the 40sec. You should be able to not breathe on all of them.
I rolled my eyes, “That’s an easy set. I don’t think that will actually help my problem. Got anything else?”
“Yeah. Do them freestyle kick. That is going to kill your legs as well as your lungs. Get ready for 12 laps straight,” Chad laughed as he lefted and walked to Coach’s office.
‘You had to speak George. You just made this set impossible.’ But I wasn’t about to back off from Chad’s set. When the 60 rolled around I left the wall.
“A high school reunion? Sounds like fun!” Sharron squeaked as she pulled dinner from the oven.
“Would you really like to go? I don’t know anyone anymore. I haven’t seen them since graduation. I would be surprised if we have anything in common with them,” David was sitting at the kitchen table.
“What does that matter? It’s not like I’m going, expecting to make friends. I’m going to support you. Do you not want me to go?”
“Of course Sharron, I want you to go,” David stopped what he was doing and came to hug his wife from behind. “You would be the only good part about that event,” he kissed her on the neck. “It’s decided we are going. I need to show you off anyways; letting everyone know I am the luckiest man alive.” David walked back over to his phone and sent out a quick text.
‘I guess I’m going to a reunion.’ Sharron return to getting dinner ready.
…
Sharron
The reunion was not at what I was expecting. I thought it might be a relaxed restaurant, maybe thirty to forty people. No it was at their high school, which I should have assumed, and it was packed. Cars were spilling onto the side streets. A large crowd was gathering outside the gym doors. Us included. There was a loud thud coming from behind the doors. ‘I should have brought some earplugs.’
Looking around I felt out of place. David had insisted I wear a classic black dress. Nothing revealing or tight. Just classic. He assured me that I would not be the only one dressed up, but looking at the women around me I felt way overdressed. Like a few of the women off to my right, were wearing skimpy bedazzled mini dresses. They were dressed up in a sense, but they seemed to be barely wearing anything. Or they were all falling out of their tops. I would never wear something like that in public; and it’s not like I felt beneath them, but that I was uncomfortable for me. Also, for David to be exposed to their scantily clad clothing. I didn’t want my husband to see that. I didn’t want to be having these thoughts of worries.
But David’s hand moved to my waist, he pulled me closer to him and whispered, “I only have eyes for you. And be careful, you are staring.”
I glanced at David. His eyes were glued to mine. He was beginning to get that look, and I broke eye contact with him and blushed while glancing away. David chuckled at my rosy cheeks. ‘Not helping.’ Finally the doors opened.
Even though the night was not what I have expected, the food was delicious. They had Famous Dave’s catering. David and I rarely went out to eat, but if we did we went there. I loved the ribs; I could put away so many. But tonight I was being a little reserved since I was in public. ‘Maybe I could bribe a worker to bring me a large zippy and I could bring some home?’
David was off with his friends. He told me I could stay with him if I wanted, but that the guys are not very clean with their speaking. David knew how I felt about language; so instead I let him go off with the guys and I am still standing by the food. I wasn’t going to try and attempt to talk to anyone. The women I saw before were “dancing” by the DJ, if you could call it that. I’m sure there may be some people I could relate to, but I didn’t want to go and search for them. I planned to just stay in this general area the rest of tonight. But right now, I had to go to the dreaded spot. The restroom.
In the movies, the bathroom was the place that most of the backstabbing and ridiculing happened at reunions. And I’m devastated to say that it was indeed true.
“Did you see the woman that David brought? I knew he got married, but I assumed he would have married someone at least close to his level. She was such a plain Jane. Like did you see her dress?”
“I know right. Ugly. She may have a decent figure, but you would never know in that bag dress. It looked like a black trash bag tied at the waist. Hideous!”
‘Wow. The mean girls could really be mean. So thankful I was homeschooled and I didn’t have to go to another reunion.’
“Trixy, are you just a little bit more against her since you had a major crush on David in high school?”
‘What?’
“No. I just assumed he would have married someone like Liz. She and David were the most popular at school. He deserved a Liz as his wife, not a sad Susan.”
“I think her name is Sharron…”
“Susan, Sharron. Same difference. Okay let’s adjust ourselves. Better. Maybe I missed my chance with David in high school, but I can always try now.”
“Don’t do anything drastic. Based on what I’ve been hearing, is that David only has eyes for his wife. However, showing him you exploding out of your top might be the only way to get him to glance at you. No guy can resist that.” They laughs together. “That looks perfect. Let’s go and break up a marriage!”
‘They were truly awful. I wanted to go home.’ I exited the bathroom stall and checked my reflection. My eyes were a little smudged by the tears kept at bay. I cleaned up my face and ventured back into the lions den. I no longer wanted to be at this ridiculous reunion. David was right, I shouldn’t have come.
…
I had planned to march over to David and demand we leave, but as I glanced over at him he was laughing and smiling with the guys surrounding him. I couldn’t bring myself to be that wife. Instead, I decided to just go sit alone outside. The warm air was enough company for me; I needed some peace and quiet, to calm my flustered heart.
…
David
“Dude, I can’t believe you are married. You were the last person I ever assumed would get hitched,” Jeremy smacked me on the shoulder. “I thought you were all about that bachelor life. New chick every night. No strings. Freedom. What happened?”
‘I knew this conversation was bound to happen. I was a different type of guy in high school. And now looking back I wish I hadn’t been that guy.’
“I grew up. I matured. And it’s a good thing I did or I would never been good enough for Sharron.”
“I don’t get it,” Jeremy shook his head.
“Well I do. David found a diamond in the rough. There aren’t too many Sharron’s left in the world. Especially in today’s world. David is lucky that, that caliber of woman decided he was good enough for her.”
Looking around to see who said that, my eyes came to Devan. Devan and I were never friends in high school; but I decided in that moment that he would be a good new friend to make. I nodded at him.
“Thank you, Devan. Means a lot.”
“Why are you even standing here, Devan? You should be off in the library or stalking unattractive women,” Jeremy and several of the guys huddle around snickered.
Devan turned away and left.
“Enough,” I stepped out of the center. I was a different person now. I guess these guys will never understand. “When will you guys ever grow up? You know become mature? I’m different now. I don’t enjoy breaking people down and belittling them. I’m not proud of the person I was back in high school. I’m proud of who I’ve change to be. And my wife. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. I am lucky to have her as Devan said.”
I was just met with blank stares and some annoyed faces. They would never understand, because most of these guys still wished to be back in high school, and I’m the person that now wishes they could forget those four years. ‘I shouldn’t have come.’ “Forget it. None of you will understand until you decide to leave the past as the past. It was different to see you all again, but I think my time here is done. Good seeing you all,” I raised my beer to them and started away.
“Hey David! Do you remember me?”
A woman stood before me. I only kept my eyes at her eyes, because of her posture I’m sure she wanted me to look lower. But I wouldn’t do that. Not to my wife, but also because I’m not the same guy; and I’m ashamed to say that younger me would have looked. Which made me sick to my stomach. “Nope,” and I walked away from that group. I was done with them. Instead, I wanted to be with that special one.
“Hey David,” Marleen called over, “I know where your wife went if you are looking for her.”
Marleen was a safe person. Her husband was Tomas, a man I worked with occasionally. If she could help me end this night quicker I would take it. I headed off in her direction.
…
Sharron
The night air was warm and soothing. I could only hear a soft thumping from the gym. I was sitting on the bleachers by soccer field. I wasn’t too far a distance from the gym, but I was far enough that I knew I would not be disturbed.
Tonight had been something I needed to experience. Next time I’ll listen to David, if he is not one hundred percent in support of me going somewhere then I’ll just stay home. Being homeschooled saved me from ever experiencing this type of thing. Like I could go to a swim team reunion, but would I really want to? I’m probably also the only one to be married, stay at home wife, wanting a family, and so on. I think one reunion is enough for one lifetime.
David
Marleen didn’t just tell me where Sharron had disappeared to, but also what had been said in the bathroom. Marleen had been in one of the stalls as well. She summarized what was said, and I’m not surprised Sharron disappeared outside.
There Sharron sat. Back to the gym doors, hunched over on the bleachers. I don’t know if she was cold or what, but her shoulders were shaking. She had better not be crying. Or I was going to knock some heads together. I quickened my pace until I was just inches from her. Then I heard her.
Laughter. She was laughing hysterically. I shook my head and smirked. ‘That’s my Sharron.’
“Anything good?” I tapped her on the shoulder.
She yelped, throwing the phone into the air, and started to fall backwards off the bleachers.
I caught her in my arms, but sadly the phone was thrown in the opposite direction. She was more important than some phone.
Sharron had her eyes still closed. Thinking she was still falling bracing herself for the painful thud. I laughed, “you are not going to fall. At least not when I’m around.”
Her eyes opened in a flash and then searched my face.
I could see happiness of recognition, but I also saw the hurt. She tried to mask it, but I knew her all too well to know when she was hiding something from me. It pained me to see her hurting. I pulled her closer to me and kissed her. A deep kiss. A I love you with all I have, kiss. A kiss that should tell her that whatever was said before meant nothing. A kiss at wasn’t just for her, but for me as well.
I pulled away from her to see a rosiness rising in her cheeks again. Oh, how I loved the rose color; especially when it was because me. “Do you want to head home?”
She looked at me, “you sure you have talked to everyone that you wanted to? We don’t have to leave just because I’m hiding out here.”
I loved her. Even though she was feeling miserable, she still cared about me first. “Yeah, I’m good. I realized a bit ago that I don’t have much in common with those people as I used to. Also I’m happy I can’t relate to them anymore. But I did sip on a beer, are you good to drive home?”
Her face lit up! “Sure I’ll drive.”
She scrambled to get out of my arms, gathered up her purse and jacket, scooped up her surprisingly fine phone, linked arms with me and headed back towards the gym. Her face was beaming.
‘There she is. My Sharron was back.’ I allowed myself to be towed by the woman I love.
As I entered the gym once again, I could feel glares in my direction. I knew these people were petty but I didn’t realize how much. Good riddance. I’m just bummed that I only hung out with those people, that I didn’t get to talk more with Devan and Marleen. They seemed like they would be more like my type of people.
We only paused a moment in front of the food. Sharron was eyeballing something. And I knew instantly what she was wanting. I kissed her on the cheek and left her there, walking towards the food buffet. Returning to her with a large foiled brick in my hands. She looked at me quizzically.
“Ribs. I guessed this is what you wanted, right?”
The rose color resurfaced again. This time accompanied by a small embarrassed grin. “How did you know?”
I interlocked my fingers with hers and whispered into her ear, “because I know everything about you.”
She let out a giggle deepening the red in her cheeks.
‘Man, I love her.’ I was about ready to kiss her once again, here in the middle of everyone, but I knew that would only embarrass Sharron. I wouldn’t, but I wanted to. I wanted to let everyone know that I was proudly and happily married to my wife. Instead, I let her hold the packaged ribs and placed both hands on her hips guiding her through the crowd. That touch alone would tell the other woman they had no chance and tell the men to keep their distance. I knew I was protective, but I didn’t realize I was this protective. But as Devan said, she was a diamond. I needed to keep her by me so that she wasn’t snatched away.
After nodding goodbye to a handful of my old teachers we were finally outside again. Only to almost run into Devan.
“Whoops. My bad,” Devan said as he side stepped out of Sharron’s way.
“No problem at all Devan. Sorry. Wasn’t really paying attention,” which was true. How could I with my beautiful wife in front of me.
“Totally understand. With this one as your partner, I’m not surprised. Maybe more surprised that you thought to bring her somewhere like this,” he gestured his drink around, “not a very classy place for a classy lady.”
“Yep. My mistake. But good seeing you. We are headed out, but I hope to be able to meet up with you again.” I handed him one of my business cards. “I put my cell on the back. Really. Good seeing you.” And I started to guide Sharron past Devan and towards our car.
“You too, David.”
…
David
Finally we were home. I think I’m going to stop drinking, because that was the longest, most stressful hour drive I’ve ever experienced. I love Sharron but she can’t drive. Ha!
…
Sharron
I was clean and in our bed. That shower helped wash away all the negativity and mean words that were said today. I had nothing to worry about. Because David loved me. He loved me so much that he got me a huge amount of ribs! More than I was going to ask for. He loved me. I knew it. And I also knew, that I loved him unconditionally. He was my wonderful husband. Mine. Forever mine. As David climbed into bed, I knew it would always be like this. He would always be the one next to me. I snuggled into his side. That was my spot. Forever and always.
David
She was beautiful. This lovingly woman in my arms. Especially after realizing how much of a terrible person I must have been in high school. That it amazed me that this wonderful woman chose me. I just held her in my arms, listening to her sighs in her sleep. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her forehead, and closed my eyes. Breathing in pace with her, savoring this woman, as I too fell asleep.
emily2jane 