Tag Archives: Humor

Breathing.

Breathing is a simple thing.

To most people this statement would seem funny. Or might ask, “What’s the need to ask this simple question?”

Okay, then breathing in physical exercise. Whenever you exercise you need to focus on your breathing. I’ve been doing an online gym app and constantly the instructors are saying, “remember to breath. If your not breathing I don’t know how you are doing it.” Again this seems to be knowledge that everyone knows.

But here is how this simple phrase becomes tricky. I constantly catch myself holding my breath. Doing abs, running, cardio, even stretching. When I think back to my younger years it has always been the same.

As some of you know I was a competitive swimmer for about 15 years. Swimming is a sport that defies all other instructors rules about breathing. Our phrase we always said was, “Breathing is overrated.”

So here I am trying to exercise and better myself and I can’t break the no breathing habit while exercising. I used to be able to streamline underwater for both 50 yards and 50 meters without breathing. Also sprinting those distances for competitive swimming events with only one breath.

I finished my exercise session for the day and I was dying. Not because of being inflexible, not because I am sadly out of shape, just because I caught myself several times holding my breath.

Since I am no longer a swimmer I need to change my ways and become a normal human being. I’ll check back with you all in a few years; either I will be a better breather or I will be still stuck with my habit.

So all I can say is breathe when the teachers say to. But if you were a swimmer, don’t worry you are not alone.

A very quick drawing…🤓

Life As A Mama #3

Bedtime is still a challenge. What entails for getting in bed: clean up the place area, do a little bit of dancing to get our wiggles out, shower, brush our teeth, and then go upstairs. By that time Mama is tired and is ready to go to sleep; however, baby is wide awake and full of energy. So the pre-bedtime consist of playing with toys until she is ready for the bedtime ‘food’.

So I sit here waiting for my baby to get tired enough for bedtime. So all those moms whose days are long and hard; just think I’m still awake with a happy baby and I probably won’t be going to bed for another hour or two. Be happy hour child has a set bedtime. 😊

But I will say I get 8 to 10 hours of sleep. So I am doing better than those moms with the babies who don’t sleep through the night.

Unless she is sick she has been sleeping through the night since she was two months old. Occasionally I don’t get all those hours of sleep, but a majority of the time I still get a decent eight hours straight sleep.

I guess this post is for all the moms out there. We are all vary but we all have the wonderful job of raising our little ones. They’re so sweet! And my baby knows it!

Life As a Mama #2

I made a dumb deal with my husband when the baby was born…I would change all the diapers but he has to deal with any dead animals, spiders, etc. I thought it was a great deal in the beginning but now my life is forever diaper based. 😓

He occasionally does it…begrudgingly, but he does.

I tried to make this task not so dreary; I put the trash can away from my changing station. Mostly I did that to keep the trash can away from my smart cookie, but I try and make the diapers in with a toss. However I’m realizing that if I miss I need to walk over and throw it away quickly, because I’ve caught my sneaky thing trying to grab them through the gate.🤢 Not something a baby should play with.

It used to be basketball…swish, swish. Now it’s diapers…smelly, smelly.

Our munch.

Well she is getting so big. My days are packed full. I thankfully get me time here and there, but it always seems like it’s not enough. I guess that’s what happens when you begin parenthood.

However, all of her new portions in her personality makes it all worth it.

She now does that cute bouncing dance; the one that all babies seem to do. She loves Disney music, old rock and roll, and country. Occasionally we will play a techno song and she just runs around the room like she got a burst of energy.

She recognizes certain animals; she is definitely a dog person. Whenever a commercial with dogs comes on she points and bounces with all her giggles. We purposely play YouTube videos of dogs; I think that is her favorite thing to watch.

She talks a bit more. She says dada more than mama, she usually just yells at me. It’s crazy as a mama I can understand her even though she can’t talk; however, she has said yes occasionally. Usually when I ask her if she is hungry or if she wants to FaceTime grandma. Calling grandma is one of her favorite things to do. 💕

Last new thing is we have discovered she has just as much patience as my husband does. 😂 I was hoping she would get both of our amounts of patience and have double it, but no, she is quick tempered at this age. I understand she gets frustrated because she knows how to do something but can’t make her body do what she is thinking.

We have a smart cookie. She will sit and figure something out and once she has she masters it. Like escaping…she is just like me in this habit.

Sending love to my mama ❤️ you had me, and now I have her. I see so much of me in her. She is a troublemaker.

Lots of love 💕

Concrete Project.

It’s a great feeling when someone doubts you, and you prove them wrong exponentially.

We had a project of doing our concrete patio slab. And originally my husband was going to do it himself, but someone said we should have a team of five guys helping…so of course five guys turned into me with the baby on my chest.

And you must know I have never done concrete work before. He woke me up 20min before the truck was showing up saying he is going to need some help.

But the truck driver also was surprised that my husband didn’t have extra help, and was more surprised when I was there to help with a baby strapped to my front. The man also said that it would be an all day project.

However, much to his dismay, we got it all spread out in one hour. The truck got there at 9:30 and left at 11:00. Haha ‘all day project’ nope.

So I guess my husband, me and the baby is enough to do 450 sq feet. I felt super spiffy.

So now that man can go back to his business astonished; and if he ever sees workers slacking off he can tell them about the time he saw a husband and his wife, with the baby, do a patio slab themselves.

Mwahahahahah!!!

The driveway is the next project, and that will be easier. 😎

Oh Baby…

Having a baby has been very interesting. I love her deeply, the sweet little giggles she does are priceless. I love her kisses when she gives me them on my cheek. I love it when she smiles so much that it takes up half of her face. She such a sweet sweet.❤️

But I do miss my sleep. Which makes me think of this topic…There of been many ways to lose weight…

Some people of use the machines that shake you until all your chub is confined into your stomach. There are now things that can freeze your chub so that it shrinks your stomach. I think that getting your tummy kicked 100 times throughout the night by tiny baby feet should also help get rid of your tummy chub. I think it’s only fair…

Even still I love her. She makes my night interesting. Like right now we are wide-awake at 10:46 PM and I don’t tthink we’ll be going to sleep for probably a couple more hours. But again she is my sweet sweet. ❤️

Oh no she spitting up…

Hugs…part 2…

Hugs…Part 1

…Thirty years later…

Every day I think back to the young girl who could have changed my life. I see her poised little body sitting in the chair with the beautiful laurel in her hair; I see her eyes shiny with excitement for her new journey, that didn’t include me and that’s where the wonderful memory ends. I haven’t truly moved on since that day. I’m seventy-three now and I have never moved on or amounted to anything.

After that day, I moved to Idaho; to a small town out in the middle of nowhere. Where great big trees were my fortress and I had to live only with the necessities. But now as I grow older, my distance neighbors and the county are kicking me out back to civilization, because they fear I’ll just drop dead and no one will notice. So I must go back to where I escaped from, and swore never to return.

Bring back it’s the same here; It’s crowded and loud. There isn’t enough space to call your own; everyone is stepping on everyone’s toes. In a parallel world, I would have lived my life out healthy and alive on my property in Idaho and I would have died there without the feeling of pain. Instead I have to endure not only death, but I have to withstand all the emotions in a crowd of thousands, while slowly being battered as I walk down the sidewalk to my new, last home.

My new last home…it’s a care giving home, so technically is an old person waiting to die home. It would have been refreshing to have the woman take me to my apartment say here is your bed you shall live out your days, until God comes and takes you back. But no they have to be non-genuine, with fake smiles, and tell you everything will be fine. They are not going to like me very much; but alas this is my new home and hopefully it will all be over soon.

…Ten More Years Passed…

‘Poop,’ that what I said to my myself about my never dying body, ‘Poop.’ “Well since I’m not getting any younger I’ll go out today,” I stood up from the game of hearts and started to the door.

“I’m sorry mam but you can’t go anywhere; you are getting too old to be in the world alone,” the daft nurse with the clouded eyes said. “I must insist you sit back down.”

“And if I won’t. What would I have to do to leave this place?”Standing firm and stubborn in my ways.

“You would have to leave our care and you wouldn’t be allowed to come back without paying the entrance fee again.”

Smart on their part, because it cost an arm and a leg to get in here and I wouldn’t be able to afford it again. Well…”Okay goodbye. Help me collect my things.” Probably dumb on my part, but I’m at the end of my ropes anyways so it doesn’t really matter.

It’s amazing how in ten years things can change. Trying to hail a cab to take me away from here, it seemed like the population tripled and all of them are storming the walkway. I’m no longer being slowly battered it’s more like quickly assaulting. Finally in the cab I’m away from it all.

“Where to Mam?” the heavily accented cabby said.

“Just drive that way, take me to a quiet neighborhood.” Feeling a bit exhausted from my two minute encounter with civilization. “Wake me when you think the place is quite enough for me.”

“Yes Mam,” and he was off.

And I slept.

“Mam, we here,” the cabby said as he pulled the back passengerdoor open.

He shook me slightly, probably concerned I died in his back seat. I fluttered my eyes open and I heard a sigh of relief escape his mouth. “Where are we? And what time is it?”

“It’s seven-thirty at night, and we are in a quiet little neighborhood just like you asked.” He seemed in a hurry to get me out of the car. He was setting my luggage on the curb and carefully pulling me from the seat. “That will be eighty-three dollars and twenty-three cents.”

“Wow…I didn’t know it would be that much.” I handed him a hundred and expected the change back but he left. “Poop, my day keeps getting better and better.” The neighborhood around me looked familiar, but up-scaled. There were apartment’s five stories tall; mansions every other house with crazy architectural advancements, like: one had almost a fifteen foot entrance door, a different one had flying buttresses or gargoyles, and others had lion statues along their drive ways. In front yards of condos, people put up privacy fences eight feet tall. Then, it seemed like clockwork, as all the yards awoke with sprinklers. However lastly, I saw the endearing old house at the end of the street on the corner resurfacing my memories; everything about the house is the same, maybe except the new sprucing of paint and windows.

“You just couldn’t let me die without coming back, could You?” God has such a way of doing things. I had been having an inkling I had to come back, but I was hoping I was wrong, but nope. “Now what? You have laid out this plan, so now what?” I must look like a crazy old lady yelling at the clouds. Suddenly it started pouring; God has a good sense of humor. “Right, now they have to let a poor old woman in if she is out in the cold rain, nice one.”

I enter the gate and it hit me; this house, my memories, my pain…do I want to hit that dead on. “Don’t be scared you old bat, no one will remember you or recognize you; you’re old,” as I barely climbed the porch stares, “Stupid old knees.” The door was before me. The door that I never wanted to pass through again. The one that I walked through and swore on my life that I would never bring forth the pain again… I knocked.

A small girlish opened the door and scream! She slammed the door and ran away screaming.

“Well that’s not what I expected; that was a new response. Are you laughing up there?” I knew He was. Again I heard movement in the house.

This time a young woman opened the door, “Oh my goodness, please come in. I’m so sorry you were not let in sooner.” The woman ushered me in as she gathered my belongings. “Annie, get me some warm milk and a large blanket. Hurry!”

I heard a small pitter-patter across the floor and something being wrapped around me…then all went black.

…To Be Continued…

Parallel

He’s home again ❤️

Finally my hubby is home. He was gone for 3 days and it felt like a lifetime…but he is home safe and sound. He brought with him a new toy that will last him quite a while. Men and their vehicles…😊

It’s a strange thing but my mother and I named her white van, Bessie and I’ve always wanted to name a car. But my hubby’s cars have always been his, this one is “ours”; even though I won’t be allowed to drive it for a while. I’m fine with that, I like being the passenger… being driven around like a princess. Awesomeness!!

But we are deciding upon a name. The Beast would be good but he already as a vehicle named that, and the Beast is a sweet-sweet. I like the name ‘Big Bertha’ or ‘Burt’ just because it sounds funny and awesome at the same time. He made a face at those names. So he might name it one thing, but when I eventually drive…beware of Big Bertha or Burt!!