Synonyms: ever-present, present every where, omnipresent, everywhere, etc.
.-.-.
Life is full of these,
They never seem to leave.
They always linger,
Even if you point your finger;
They stay.
.-.
Mother’s, father’s, sister’s, brother’s;
These things thrive in summers.
Different shapes, colors, and design.
Why do they never decline!
Instead, they stay.
.-.
You can search,
But they are always perched.
You can clean,
But they return to the scene.
They stay.
.-.
Can you guess?
Or do you too feel the stress?
I love them still,
I find what I can and then chill.
The socks.
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I had my husband choose the topic today. He was listing off different things, but I laughed when he said socks. Because it’s so true. So socks was the theme.
No matter how many you pick up they always seem to grow more. Or when you go to fold socks, you never have all the matches. It’s mind boggling.
But I do, I love socks. I continue to buy them. They make me happy. My daughter actually gave me a couple pairs of the slipper socks. I love those too!!
Have a wonderful Thursday!! Try to catch ‘em!! (Socks, Not Pokémon. Haha)
A 2010 bright orange mustang. I actually have a picture of me standing next to one; when I was 17! I was determined to have one. Orange was my favorite color!
Instead, my first vehicle wasn’t until I was 27. And… I got an efficient car. At least it was cherry red. That’s somewhat close to orange… right?
Also a mustang would have impossible with kids. Folding over in half to put a baby in…Nope! Not happening.
So I didn’t get my dream car, but I love Jams. (That’s what I’ve named my car) Jams’ is awesome! We got Jams because of the gas mileage. A full tank of gas can go over 400 miles! And when we got Jams is was about $12 to fill up. Now, it more like $30; but that tank of gas will last me 1-2 months.
Look at me…bragging about my Jams. Haha 😂 but definitely Jams is now my dream car. So much so, I wish I could gift one to my mama. 🩷
And if you were curious…
The name Jams comes from the live action Aladdin movie. The scene with all the jams. If you’ve seen it, you know!
Well. My dream car was just that. A dream. But my reality car is perfect for me, my life, and family.
Obviously, my husband would be an easy answer. He has great impacted my life for the better. But I think I want to use this time to say my older brother.
My older brother had a great influence in my life. He was always the role model of a strong man in my life. As you all know, my dad was not someone in my life and I had no desire for him to be present either. So to me my older brother filled that role. If I needed help, he was the one I went to.
Now that I am living miles and miles away from my old home; I am realizing how much time I spent with my older brother. During my early teenage years, I would spend time watching him play the piano; Sometimes I would chime in and sing if a song I knew came up. Strangely I felt comfortable enough to sing in front of my brother, but never for anyone else. I would sit and watch him play World of Warcraft; it was incredibly boring, except for the beautiful colors and the imaginative creativity that they had to design the game. We would play board games together. That became a normal thing; my brother had game nights with his buddies over the years, and I was cool enough to tag along.
I have to say it is pretty amazing that I was able to tag along, because when I was a child i tormented my brother. I am amazed that we had such a strong relationship as I grew up; because I know at one point, he probably wanted to strangle me.
But even when I went through the stupid dating experience too young; I remember my brother coming up to me saying, “If you need me to do anything I’m there for you.” I felt so protected in that moment. My older brother was always a shy introvert like me; so, to know he would step up and be my protector made me swell with pride for him.
I even had thought that I wanted my husband to ask my brother for permission to marry me, but it was my mom’s role. But my brother would have been the second person in line.
I also had thought about having my brother give me away at my wedding. Again, I had always seen my mom give me away, but again my brother would have been my next choice.
I can’t really label what in my life has been influenced by him, because to me without him I probably would have seen men different. If life had just been us leaving a verbally abusive dad without a strong male example for me; I’m scared to think who I would have become. I have to thank my brother so much!
I feel like I wasted a few hours binge watching a show. It was a current modern show. About a girl finding love young. 16. And she made so many mistakes. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older, or I was 16 once, but I couldn’t enjoy the show. That as I watched it I was hoping she would change. But she kept making mistakes.
And then when she was at the crossroads moment; she calls her mom for advice and her mom says, “I want you to have several loves before settling on the one”…wow. The mom could have done some good parenting and helped her daughter, but instead gave her the worst advice. My advice would have been, “don’t decide anything now. You are still young. Just leave it alone and just live life dating free, until you figure out who you are and what you want.”
Is that so difficult. Maybe I’m naive. I know I didn’t listen to my mom’s advice when I was 16. But as a mama now, I would tell my daughter the deep hard stuff. Even if all she wants is a pat on the back. Because to me that’s not good parenting.
When I started the show I had this thought. “Maybe I’ll use this show as an example to my daughter in the future.” Show her that you don’t need to date at 16. That it is better to wait. I wish I had. I wish my husband had been my first love. He was my first real true love.
But that thought is gone. As the show continued the girl kept going against my views on life. Now it just makes me worried about the future. But I have to trust that my husband and I will continue to do good parenting. That my daughter will know what is important in life.
Also for my son. The boys in the show were not the greatest. But they too didn’t have great parenting. I want to parent my son so that he knows how to treat women in his future.
I’m terrified of them growing up. Also them growing up in today’s world. The world is going crazy! But I will continue to educate my kiddos on morals and character.
But I have a piece of hope for them. My kiddos are strong-willed, stubborn, intelligent, but still warm with love. And I hope they continue to be that way. Because they will not be bullied into changing their points of views. I know that may come back to bite me, but I want them prepared for whatever their world will look like.
This is just a worried mama post. Haha! Enjoy your weekend. I’m going to be staying away from new shows. They always disappoint me. This was the first new thing I’ve watched since 2017. That was the last time I saw a movie in a theater. I’ll just stick to what I like and watch the same things over and over again.
Another random question to think about. I saw a short video on someone asking this question. “What was the last movie you saw in theaters that the entire audience applauded?”I can only remember 2 movies; they left a strong impression on me. Spoilers.
#1 Star Wars: The Last Jedi. The moment Luke Skywalker dusts off his shoulder. That moment was epic. The audience erupted!! It was a moment to remember. This was the last movie I saw at a theater.
#2 Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part 2. The audience erupted at the start. I went opening night. It was amazing!! But then also when He Who Must Not Be Named (trying to not spoil) died. The moment it happened everyone screamed or WHOO! at the screen. Again epic!
But that is the last time I remember it happened. As you read in a previous post I like a wide range of movies. But it’s been a while since I was wowed!!
A stubborn believer. I won’t change my beliefs for anyone. I will always, and to the end be a believer in Christ Jesus the Lord!!
A loving smartypants wife. I am a lovingly wife. My husband knows. But I can also be a pain. Haha 😂 in a sarcastic way. Sarcasm is our second language.
A daughter. I love my mama!! She is still my best friend. It’s difficult to be so far from her. Not what I had first thought my future would be like. But she is supportive and adamant of our dream on living away. 🥰
A somewhat patient, but warm mama; and an above average homemaker. I try. Being a mama is hard. I’m still trying to figure it out. And it will only continue to get harder; if we keep adding kids. But I still love this job. Even though some days I feel like I have no hair by the end of the day. Also the home maker job….it’s hard to juggle the mama responsibilities with all the other chores. Again I’m not perfect. I probably have the kitchen requirements to 85% but the rest of the house is only at 70%. But not bad. But the husband keeps trying to help me.
An artist. I want to be an artist. I would love to be an anonymous artist. That only you on this blog would know. But that my art could speak for itself. Because also…I’m incredibly busy. Finding time to paint will be hard enough. But I do desperately want to get my art out there!!
I don’t what else is there….I think this sums me up!!
This is a two part answer. Because I want to vacation at the beach, but live in the mountains.
The beach it’s warm and sunny. Beautiful! There is the hot sand, the blue oceans. It’s paradise. But honestly for me not where I want to put down roots.
I have some reasons. I’m not just stating a fact or anything. But for one, I’m afraid of the ocean. Yes it super pretty to look at; but only my knees will be dipping in. The husband and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, and I was having a panic attack swimming around in the ocean. I totally was a buzz kill for the husband.
Second reason…tsunamis. Not a fan…or hurricanes…nope nope. It’s all sunshine and rainbows until your house is washed away.
Third reason. I burn. No matter how much sunscreen I put on; I burn. Peeling is the pits.
But still, even with all those things; I would love to vacation at a beach again.
But putting down roots; I’m a mountain girl. The trees, the mountains, the Autumn’s breeze, the snow, the cold. All of it is beautiful.
But the extreme weather is not the greatest. The over 100mph winds or the -50°, terrible. But you learn, you adapt. My great fear in the mountains is grizzly bears and rattlesnakes; but there are things to do to handle those problems.
So I guess that’s what it is for me. The extreme weather issues of living in various places. You live up north you freeze. You live farther south you get whacked with baseball sized hail. The east you get humidity and tornadoes. And the west you get sky high population and expensive living with nice weather. Haha! But no matter where you decide to put down roots; you take the good with the bad. You learn to adapt. You live!
Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?
I think I would choose age 15-17. When I was a competitive swimmer.
I stayed on my swim team because I didn’t want to lose my friends, start from scratch, and I didn’t want to let my coach down.
But if I had switched teams I would have probably gone farther in the sport. Not gotten hurt. And probably would have made it to the Olympics.
But instead I choose my friends. I thought they would be my friends always. But the older friends tolerated me because I was fast. The younger friends respected me because I was fair. But in the end I only have one good friend from my 17 years of swimming; living in a different state, and I only text her. It’s been almost 5 years now since I last saw her.
Another reason for not leaving, was I didn’t want to have to figure out my place on a new team. I knew there were faster swimmers than me. Surprisingly enough, more dedicated swimmers than me. But on my old swim team I was respected.
You can’t really leave one team, try out another, and then return. It would have not gone well.
The biggest reason of all: I didn’t want to disappoint my coach. My coach was my coach for 8 years, I think. She was the one that kickstarted my desire to become great. I always did anything she said. She was the one that was going to take me to the next level.
But like most things, many different events happened that began to unravel my hoped future.
She always wanted me to be the best, but I’ve come to realize it that she just expected the best without her 100% effort to help me there. She had a favorite on the team; and to her, that swimmer could do no wrong.
Another event was that when I was 16, I had finished 3 exhausting swim meets in a row. I had been invited to an invitation only swim meet, that I had to go to as well. But into the first day of the meet I had an excruciating pain in my stomach that I couldn’t even sleep through the night. My mom came to get me and we went to the hospital. Turned out I had a cyst the size of a large grapefruit in my lower abdomen. The doctors were amazed that I had continued through the pain, for this long, while being an athlete. I had to have surgery. So it was quite serious. The doctors said that if the cyst had ruptured I would have died.
But what do you think my Coach’s response to all this was… disappointment. She made me feels so awful for leaving that swim meet. She made me feel like I embarrassed her; and that I should have just sucked it up, and finished the meet.
After that day my Coach gave up on me. The swimmer that could do no wrong was now more than ever her favorite. And I continued to try and prove myself to my coach. I did more in my 16-17 years than I had already done for her from the age of 10 to this point.
And you might be wondering how it ended…
Without any help from my coach. I bettered myself all the way up to the nationals level. That’s one step lower than the Olympics trials. Two steps away from the Olympics. I thought, I would have at least one more year of her help. But instead she took her favorite to the Olympic trials. The swimmer chocked and didn’t perform well, and then my coach retired.
She gave up. She gave up on me. If she had given me some direction the year before she retired she might have taken two swimmers to the Olympic trials. I think I lost my spark after that.
She then sold the team to my teammate. He then made a rule that after the age of 18, if you are not swimming in college you couldn’t continue to swim on the team. So I lost my coach. I lost my drive. And I lost my team. All after I turned 18.
I swam at my community college. I did amazing. But it wasn’t the same. My spark was gone. I broke almost all the records. But then I got hurt. I think it was an old injury from when I tried to earn my coach’s respect back.
Now as I look back over those years I can see that I should have left. I wasted 8 years trying to swim for someone who never seemed to care. But I wasted the best years especially; where if I had just switched I probably would have made it. I know I would have!
But with all things you must go on. I coached. Which I loved!! I will definitely do it in the future if I get the chance. Without the public speaking part. I’m terrified and terrible at that part. Another, I still like to do hard work. Any projects we have on the property I’m rearing to help complete them. My body feels sore and tired afterwards. Most importantly, I found someone who cares for me, who wants me to do my best, but will also accept me as I am.
So yes, I want to change those years. Because I wish I could give my 17 year old self a chance to succeed on the level she desired. But like all things. You learn. You move past it. And you then live your new life.
Digital Art By: emily2jane 11-04-2023 “Stilled Moments”
It’s strengthens everything; arms, legs, back, core. Lungs, flexibility, balance. When you swim it’s an everything body workout.
But in all honesty where we live, our city pool is only open 3 months of the year…they should really enclosed it.
So my year round exercise is… stress, panic, and ”running” chasing after my son…😑 He is not even a year and half and he is getting into everything. Like our bed. We finally got ourselves a nice bed frame. And it’s maybe 3.5 ft tall. He proceeds to climb it…then he stands on the edge of the bed to claim his victory.
So my days are spent in fear and panic of what he is getting into. Like last night he wouldn’t go to sleep so we played in the living room a bit longer. And the moment I wasn’t watching, he had moved the packed up air mattress, stood upon it to grab something off a surface above him, a….battery powered drill. The husband didn’t put it away…and obviously what daddy uses must be the coolest things ever…so naturally my son needs to play with it too.
But I got up from the floor at lightning speed and cleaned up the disaster and future disasters in a record time.
So that’s what I feel like my exercise is currently. Flash style reflexes done at lightning speed. Mix in some fear and panic, and you can loose some weight this way. Believe me I have.
We’ve been also doing various lifestyle changes but I’ve lost 6lbs in 2 weeks. 😳 not a good thing when still feeding a baby, but I think it’s just my son’s doing.
Our harvest festival is coming up. And I saw this shirt yesterday and I approve of this shirt. Haha 😂
So true.
I’m working a booth again this year, so I’ll have my own bowl to steal candy from. But all moms out there…while they are little and not eating candy…this is your right.
I know would is different than could. But trying things cost money…so I’ve been sticking to what I know, or make what I have work for what I want to try.
But if I could, I would try professional ballroom dancing. I love to dance. All types of styles! Ballroom, Latin, Swing….I like to watch hip hop, but I don’t know if I’m able to actually dance it well.
At one point in my life, I would go out dancing. I would be out swing dancing until almost 11pm every weekend. But I loved ballroom dancing the best. I felt so elegant and fancy.
To do it professionally would be fun. Not to do it to win! per say, but to do it because I love to dance.
But obviously I’m a full time mama, and I want more kiddos, so my figure is not what most professional dancers look like.
But it would be fun to try. I’ve even got the shoes already…they were my wedding shoes.
But still happy to be a mama. Never going to change that.
emily2jane 