Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
My favorite book was called Emily Elephant. She cooks, she cleans, she picks flowers. My mom actually saved me the book, and I have read it to my own daughter.
I can’t remember being read the book. But I do remember wanting to clean, bake, pick flowers, have a party. I still do all these things, but I don’t know if I would say I want to clean.
Now, my daughter wants to do all these things with me. She loves to sweep, mop, and vacuum. She helps me with the dishes. She loves baking and cooking. (Her croutons are amazing!!) She is an excellent flower picker. I get to enjoy the wild flowers both inside and out. And she is only four.
If you have a daughter or niece or granddaughter; try the book Emily Elephant. It teaches you the great skills in life that you will always use.
I discovered why I’ve been so irritable and frustrated lately. I’m unhappy. My giving cup is empty.
Every person is some percentage of giving. I am 80% giving and 20% receiving. Example: 80% of the time I would rather give a gift than receive. But 20% of the time I NEED to receive.
So meaning being myself, my normal self; has not made me very happy as of late. I’ve just been stumbling around not knowing what’s wrong. Instead, I’ve been irritable. Short tempered. And unhappy. I guess I’ve been trying to figure out how to be happy, when being myself doesn’t make me happy anymore. Hence, my giving cup is empty.
So I’m just going to focus on myself. Normally I would focus on making those around me happy. Giving them what they needed. Focus on them; Focus on them! But none of my requests were being met. I was just either waiting or attempting to live without. Not even being big request, remember only 20%.
But now I’m to the point, I am going to make me happy. And I just won’t ask anymore. Not until my giving cup is full again or I feel happy. I don’t know how long that will take, but I want to feel like myself again. I want to be happy giving to others. And not feel drained and depressed at everyday life.
It’s going to be noticeable. Hopefully this will help me. Hopefully.
But on a happier note… Happy Birthday Mama!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Synonyms: flounder, struggle, squirm, wriggle, splash, stumble, blunder, etc.
.-.-.-.
Morning.
My eyes only flutter open,
When I hear the door creak.
She’s awake.
.-.-.
Brother lies still beside me,
Finally resting peacefully.
The night was a struggle.
.-.-.
Breakfast.
My essences left my body.
I stand hollow and empty.
Yelling and chattering,
Never end with these two.
.-.
Food is out.
Why such a battle.
I squirmed and wriggled,
To get one meal done.
Please nap time come.
.-.-.
Afternoon.
Chaos is constant.
Never a moment of peace.
Questions spewing, toys flying, emotions rising.
Will it ever be done?
.-.-.
Bedtime.
Screams of protest.
Anger developing.
Stumbles, fumbles, thrash, splash.
Silence follows all those blunders.
.-.-.
Silence.
Regrets and upsets,
Fill my brain.
Retrace your steps,
To learn again.
Sleep.
.-.-.
Morning.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Being a mama is tough. One child is different than two. Especially when your first child is intelligent and stubborn. She is determined to do it her way. He way or the highway. Except that doesn’t work when it’s supposed to be my way.
Little man is so mellow compared to her. He is smart too, noticeably for his age. My life will be interesting; calm way to put it.
But I struggle. I don’t know what I’m doing. I try my best and always some part of the day seems to be….Blarghbaaaaaaaaaa!!! If you couldn’t tell, that was me having a meltdown.
And I know it will continue to be difficult if we continue to add to our family. But hopefully I can find that flow…a current of productive moments.
I do have those moments. And I need to try and focus on the happy sweet moments of the day at bedtime. It’s difficult. But I know they probably outnumber the bad moments.
To all young moms out there. You are doing a great job. And all grandma’s now, you did amazing job raising your kids. Because they decided to continue the line of family. Your kids feel comfortable and confident enough to raise kids on their own.
Thank you to my mom!❤️
“After A Storm” Digital Art By: emily2jane 04-13-23
I will starting to paint soon. And some of the art from my blog will finally be on canvases!! I’m excited to get my art out into the world. 🎊
The word of the day today might be a negative word. But it helps show you the good in life. Like the picture above. Always after something bad, the good will come into focus, and shine in your life. Have a wonderful day ❤️
It’s said to write what you know. So this poem is based on me meeting my husband. And I’m not exaggerating when I say I went on many first dates. Some I went on up to three-five dates, but they all ended up lying about something in the end. Online dating is already hard enough. Why lie on your profile. Yes personality is a big part of someone, but for me if you lie with a picture what else will you or are you lying about.
I guess, don’t compromise. And don’t be embarrassed if none of your dates are working out. Now you know there is someone who experienced twenty-eight bad ones before my right one found me.
God made me experience all the awful meets, so that I would know the right one when I met him. Also, so I would see all his great qualities, and see past the honesty of the handsomeness of his profile picture.
It’s a real thing. Other husbands out there, don’t worry it is a temporary thing….through pregnancy and maybe the next 2 years. Haha 😆 Pregnant women get forgetful, slower, and zone out. Some might not, (some women might be lucky.)
But I definitely experience the baby brain.
It makes doing anything twice as hard. Also the hubby has days where he can’t talk to me. Haha 😂
But I’ve gotten better. I now can tell him when I’m having a bad baby brain day. He usually knows before I say anything and responds with, “Oh, I know.”
My mom throughout my growing up told me that with each child we stole some of her smartness. My mom is super smart!!! I’m not saying otherwise, but now I understand what she means. I’m on baby number 2, and I’m wondering how much my new baby will take. My daughter is scary smart. (I know that’s what most parents say) but to me for a three year old she is too smart. Haha 😂
So if she is so smart she probably took a 1/4 of my smartness; meaning I’ll probably be giving away another 1/4. Because he is similar to how she was during my pregnancy.
We shall have to wait and see.
But that’s why I haven’t been posting. Because these last months have been major baby brain months. Only one more to go!!
I hope you have a wonderful day, today!
The cover photo: a snap shot I took out our dining room window. To me it looks like the typical screen saver screen. The lushest green, with the blue sky. This was the first day of actually warm weather. “Spring” but it’s been raining for almost three days. Over 500 gallons of water later, it’s sunny. (We captured all the rain we could to use it for watering the garden. We ran out of ways to capture water, all that free water gone. 😞)
Synonyms: huge, enormous, massive, immense, colossal, prodigious, etc.
…
First thing that came to mind… sharks.
Which I know is not the best association with tremendous. But I have an irrational fear of sharks. Not that a fear of sharks is not normal, but I fear sharks in places that sharks cannot actually be.
The swimming pool. Early or late practices, where you would see shadows. I would panic sometimes, irrationally, that a shark was stalking me.
In lakes. I once swam a 5K in a fresh water lake (dam) and I was panicking that a shark would appear.
When I was younger. This is more my siblings fault… but I would always have dreams of sharks attacking me, chasing me, or attacking my siblings and I always would save them and die.
My siblings found it hilarious to prank me. Humming the Jaws sound. Setting the family computer screen saver as sharks. Showing me videos of surprise shark attacks. Lovely things like that.
So much so that I cannot watch shark scenes in movies. That if the characters at all end up in a boat or in the ocean I begin to panic that a shark is going to appear. Which I was watching a movie yesterday, Unbroken, intense movie! But there are scenes of the characters surviving on a life boat in the middle of the ocean. I had to skip many parts of the movie… thankfully the music was great at foreshadowing. (I am not spoiling anything. It is in the description of the film.)
I will never watch Jaws! My brothers have tried to convince me for years. “That I’m missing out on a right of passage”, but nope. Not going to happen.
Tremendous….sharks…literally no, but in my brain yes.
This year, so far, has been full. As you may have noticed, I’ve only been posting chapters of my story. That’s only possible because I can write multiple chapters at once and post them accordingly.
But there are many changes this year. My daughter is three years old, and I cannot believe how time has passed. Her shoulder now fits under the lip of our dinning room table. She is expressing herself with words. She helps and takes care of me as I would to her. Now with her little brother on the way, I can’t help but remember when she was just a small little thing in my arms.
Next… my niece is starting to walk. She will be one year old next month. I just watched a video of a confident little girl strutting down the carpet. Last time I met her was a tiny peanut. No personality, just a little ball of love.
And next… my nephew is turning 15 this year. 15!!! My nephew who is now taller than me by about an inch. My nephew who I remember how he used to chase my dog, Sammy, around the backyard in his onesie. RIP Sammy ❤️ He is turning 15! That’s crazy to me.
The final one for now, but definitely not the last: I haven’t competed in swimming in almost 10 years. I still have dreams about racing, and I remember all the struggles and successes I had in my swimming career. But I haven’t done that in almost 10 years… that’s just amazes me. Especially since I did it for 14 years.
Which is why I am loving writing this story of a boy’s life of swimming. Not everything is from my past, but I’m able to get my desires out of my heart and into a narrative. It’s my way of continuing to live the swimming life without giving up what I have gained in these 10 years.
My husband. My daughter. My expected son. My home. My family.
As much as I love the idea of competing again. It can not measure up to the amount of love I have towards my splendor in life.
Year 2022, has been full; to the fullest. But I’m excited for the years to come. My days competing might be over, but I’m excited for this new adventure!
I don’t believe I will be posting anything until the new year. I’ve been so exhausted and busy, that I only have this small amount of time to say sorry to all of you.
I’m sorry that I am unable to post. My brain is also not functioning, since it is running a mile a minute.
Please forgive me. I’ll begin again next year.
Thank you. Enjoy your chilly Winter ❄️
.-. About 2 Months Later.-.
I finally went back on my blog and realized that I never actually posted this post. I wrote it back in December… I feel like such a failure.
We have finally finished moving. I’m still exhausted but I missed you all. Also I’ve missed writing my story. IT WILL CONTINUE!! Even if it’s just for me; I need to actually finish a story. Haha!
So I’ll be back on here. Maybe not as much as before, but slowly I’ll work my way back.
Life has been like the title of this post. I feel rushed in everything, but also seems to take all my effort.
Because of the holidays and big changes recently, I won’t be posting often. As you have probably notice these last few weeks. I’m just exhausted and I have no extra energy for my hobbies.
I’ll be finishing my nephew’s shirt, but I think that will be all.
I will post a chapter of my story here and there. I have several chapters already written. That’s the only thing that I seem to be able to focus on.
Please forgive me and have a thankful Thanksgiving! 🍁🍂
Fall
Nothing special. Just a photo I took the other day.
Life has been non stop so my focus has been elsewhere. But I’m still doing things.
Like I started my nephews Christmas presents. I’ve made custom drawn shirts for them threw the years. A few I’ll have to draw them again for my baby. But I decided to make them custom original shirts. 100% original.
Partly done.
This one is for my youngest nephew. The claw is a stencil I made four years ago. And the stars are all hand drawn.
I’m thinking about making a stencil, but we shall see. It’s not taking me that long to draw the stars. This amount took me maybe 3hrs. The last shirts I did with stars, it took me a few days. Maybe since I have less to do now.
But I’ll show you the finished product when I’m done.
The older nephew’s shirt is same design but since he is taller I’m doing the stars diagonally vertical. I’m excited to see the end result. I need to finish them soon and ship them. The shipping process is still incredibly slow…so I must be quick!
emily2jane 