Tag Archives: Family

Sickness…take a pause…

I wouldn’t say I didn’t believe my mother when she said she was sick, it was more I didn’t understand the level of sickness she was having to endure. But now as I lay in my bed and attempt to write this post I feel the headache coming back to me. So sorry mom if I seemed at all humorous to you when you were in bed, because now I must endure the slow recovery to my normal health.

Have you ever said to yourself, “You are not sick. Just believe you are fine and the sickness will not be there.” Well In the past I told myself this for years. When I swam, my coach would tell me the same thing, “if you don’t want to be sick, then tell yourself you are not.” Easier said then done, however if worked perfectly fine for her. She said she would only allow herself to be sick in the Summer, because she only had coaching. I however swam year round and my only vacations were holidays, and I wanted those times to be with family, not in bed. So constantly pushing myself to not be sick, just made me extremely sick when my body couldn’t take it anymore. Which is why I think my body sometimes shuts down. It is telling me I need a rest and I should take a couple days.

For the past 2 years I have not experienced that shutdown. I believe it is because I have one less stressful thing in my life. As much as I love and miss swimming, I think it was the best thing for me to stop. Yes, I might have been able to make it to the Olympics or even just Olympic trials, but I would have never been able to experience life through my twenties. So getting injured, even though I thought my life was over, was the beginning of my true self.

It’s funny how when you have time, even “being sick time”, that you can look deeper into your life. You see the things you cherish more, and you discover what truly matters to yourself. Family, friends, art, dancing, love, work, etc. I have much to cherish, and without stopping and pausing ever so often I might forget.

So in a way I say, “Thank you Mom. You might have given me a sickness which produces the worst headache in the word. And the constant terrible sweats, and chills. But you have given me a pause to reflect what I love most. Which is you, and my siblings. I love you!”

The Dreaded DMV…

It has been a long time since I was at the DMV. It was six years ago, when I was getting my own permit. I was with my mom and, I don’t remember any of it. Now it is my turn to be the adult and bring my brother. He is old enough to sign up for a license. He is so much older, and I cannot really call him my baby bro anymore. It is an honor to take him, but I am now experiencing the dread of the DMV…the waiting with random people sitting around you.

There are two men next to me speaking in a  different language . Two women next to me another language. I have no idea what they are saying. A baby girl keeps staring at me, I guess, she is curious who I am. There is an Australian accent behind me and it is fun to listen to. But the continuous annoying voice saying, “now serving…letter/ #’s at window #” is pretty annoying.

No matter the happiness I feel for my brother, I really don’t want to be sitting listening to people. I probably wouldn’t feel so against it if my coffee hadn’t been awful. My brother chugged his and he almost died. (But his face was priceless after) I need more coffee…coffee makes everything better.

Band-Aids…

I believe I was four, and I remember placing each Band-Aid on any visible skin possible.  The room in darkness concealing my presences and securing my hiding place.  Every box empty and its contents stuck to my soft skin.  Hundreds of wrappers covering the floor crunching beneath my feet as I wiggle my legs.  As I extend my legs then Band-Aids expand tugging at my fair hair upon my arms and legs.  I remember being extremely proud of my hard work accomplished.  Of course I began with my hands, so attempting to open the Band-Aid’s wrappers took much skill as a child.  I believed I had mad skills and a new proud talent. I remember sitting on the floor applying band-aids continuously to open areas of flesh.

Suddenly the door swings open and the light engulfs me.  I don’t remember my mother’s reaction, but I do remember me smiling back, standing confidently, and relishing in my accomplishments. The sudden opening of the door was because I supposedly had been gone far too long and I was way too quiet.  I am a Band-Aid lover and I still am to this day.  Which means my family still hides the special band aids from me; though, I am allowed to use the $1 a box band aids. My mother forever called me Mad Max. Which is perfectly fine with me, because I see myself as the Band-Aid bandit!

To My Brother: Who Might Never Read This

This is a shout out for anyone with a younger sibling or a close friend like a brother/sister; in my case this is dedicated to my brother.

I have a baby brother, who might kill me for calling him that, who is also my best friend. I know personally he has another person he views as his best friend, and I am happy for him, but he is mine. We are almost five years apart, but we seem closer somehow. To help this claim, random girls will come up to me and ask how old my “older” brother is.  It is hilarious to see their reaction when I tell them he is seventeen.  I am perfectly fine with their comments, because this must mean I look younger, Bonus Points!!

Anyways back to brother.  Yesterday, I realized that I can always depend on him. I knew this, in the back of my head, but I didn’t register it until that moment. Basically he always has my back.

I am sure you reading this is stirring up memories of your past with a close friend or sibling.  Talking about my little bro makes me think about our childhood.  I have been told by several relatives that I used to carry him around everywhere, and when I would get tired I would plop down and hug him in my lap.  Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time and watch our bond mold. Also I wish I could travel back to tell my teenager self to listen to my mom and stop being a big sister jerk to him.  All teenagers go through this stage, don’t lie to yourself, that they are incredibly embarrassed of their family. Thankfully, my mom got through, because if I had continued with that attitude I would have never decided for him to be my best friend.

However, teenage “me” had some good reasons for being annoyed sometimes, because my little brother would make it his mission to drive me crazy!  He probably was just mimicking me, of how I used to treat our older brother. You remember those days when your sibling would make a continuous repetitive noise in your vicinity…and how you would sit there until your brain felt like it would explode.  Yes I had many of those experiences.  The only time I survived those obnoxious noises, was when I chimed in as well. My poor mother. I also have proof; we have video that my brother made, when he was littler, that he clearly says:

“Now you take this pen and throw it at your sister,”

At the time I was not aware this video was being made, but I did get hit with the yellow highlighter.

Okay, enough with memory lane, earlier I said that I had realized I could always depend on my brother in small things he did for me.  I was doing my homework and I was have trouble revising a sentence.  I turned and ask him if he could help me and without hesitation he stood up, walked over, helped me, and then returned to his own work.  Another moment was when I was making myself lunch and I decided I didn’t want all of it. I could see it in his face he didn’t really want food at the moment but he ate it.  Usually in this situation I am lucky if I get to take a bite before he uses those “puppy eyes” and I end up giving him it; he is a master of this technique. But as he ate the half of the grilled cheese for me, so I would not feel bad about wasting food, I remembered all the other times when he was there for me.

When I would have to meet new people and he would come along just in case no one wanted to talk to me. When I am sent out to do an errand for our mother, he always will come along with me. When we drive to school in the morning he will help me study for my test; I do the same for him but his smartness is different than mine.

Even though these are small simple things; it is the small simple things in life that matter the most. I am the luckiest sister in the world; because my brother, someone who will constantly be in my life, has also gained the title of friend. I would be a completely different person without him as my brother. So thank you to my mom for giving me a true friend and a brother forever. And hopefully my brother knows that I will always be there for him.  I know that he knows, that I am a bit over protective, but he is my baby brother and I love him. So, for anyone out there who has that person: sibling or friend, that you immensely enjoy their company, give them a hug, fist bump, pat on the back, or some other form of casual affection I am forgetting.  I am sure they know how you feel; but like everyone, everybody loves to receive small hints of gratitude.

So, in short, I have a younger brother and best friend all rolled into one; I for once am lucky.