Category Archives: Daily Prompts

Alternate Me…

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

I’ll be honest. I have typed several different things for this post and they don’t seem like me. I know it’s supposed to be my opposite self but I think some thing’s would transfer over into an alternate universe. Like I am sure I would want to be a mom no matter what. Currently i knew this was for sure so I started young; young enough to enjoy my kiddos life. So opposite…start kids later in life; only one or two.

Let’s say maybe I wasn’t a swimmer…but I’m sure I would have been some sort of athlete. So let’s say opposite of swimming. Track. I would have been a track athlete. Land sports…blah! Unless it’s ultimate frisbee, I am not a land sport person in this current universe.

So….would it be my upbringing that would have been different? My dad bringing me up….then I wouldn’t have been myself. I can’t even imagine that life, nor would I want to. I probably would have run away back to my mom’s house with my siblings.

Maybe my husband is different. No. He is my match. I went on so many first dates for two years that there is no way he wouldn’t be my other half in an alternate universe. But let’s say he is older than me. That’s different.

Maybe… I’m well off…Yes money would be helpful. But I’m so well off now with so many different skills that would be sad if I wasn’t an artist, cook, organizer, etc. I would take skills over money any day. Because with skills I could make money if I needed to. Money will run out at some point. But sure, wealthy with money.

And I don’t know what’s to come in my future, so I don’t know my alternate idea. So….I guess….

Alternate universe me: Brought up by my dad. Track athlete. Older husband. Married late, late kids. Wealthy.

I don’t know about you, but I will take my current life 100%. My alternate self has such a sad sounding life.

Prompt, Word Of the Day, and Poetry….

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

Word Of The Day: Dauntless 7-19-23

Synonyms: fearless

They are free?

They are free!

What a wonderful day to be me!

Just paying for two more,

Is less of a chore.

We will pack up our bags;

Start off to the the flag,

Of Hawaii.

.

It’s so beautiful there.

I’ve never a care.

The amazing jungles,

The different sands,

Oh what a wonderful day to be grand.

Will I do it this time?

Will dauntless be me?

Can I swim in the ocean?

Can I be openly free?

Fearless that’s me!

.

Nope…

Never mind.

Sharks and me not a pretty dime.

I’ll stay on the beach,

That’s fine.

If only this was true,

To be seeing the wonders of blue.

The island of Hawaii,

With me!

We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon. It was forever ago. It would be fun to go again. We will go again! I just don’t know when. But it is indeed magical there. The blues, the greens, the reds, pinks, and different hues. I would love to see it all again.

“Island Charm”
Digital Art By: emily2jane
07-29-23

Ummmmm…..?

What are you most excited about for the future?

I’m not really excited about any one thing. I’m hoping for many things, but I’m not really anticipating anything.

I’m hoping that I can actually be an artist. A known artist. I will always be an artist; I just don’t know if I will ever take it anywhere.

I’m hoping we can have more babies. But that is in God’s hands. He decides. So I’m trying to be content with my kiddos and not just wait for the next one. If there will be another one.

I’m hoping my husband can go back to school and actually accomplish what he wants. Find a dream come true job. (Personal opinion: if you are going to try for a degree, do it while you are young. Not when you are full-time providing for your family.)

I’m hoping my mama will have an easy change to her life. That it won’t be so stressful and that God will provide a laid out path for her follow.

I’m hoping I can have more patience with my daughter. She desires so much and I’m trying to juggle life as it is. I get frustrated easily it seems. So I hope God can help me calm down before reacting with her.

I’m hoping that any future plans are smooth for us. We are talking about some big changes and I hope that this actually the direction God wants us to go.

So yeah, I can’t really say I’m excited for any one thing. Because everything is still in the works. Nothing is for sure. I can only try to prepare. So maybe I will say I’m excited for will come for our future. As a mama and wife, it’s not just my future. Everything about me is connected to my family. ❤️

My Whole Life”
Photograph By: emily2jane
07-11-23

Of course! Emily Elephant

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

My favorite book was called Emily Elephant. She cooks, she cleans, she picks flowers. My mom actually saved me the book, and I have read it to my own daughter.

I can’t remember being read the book. But I do remember wanting to clean, bake, pick flowers, have a party. I still do all these things, but I don’t know if I would say I want to clean.

Now, my daughter wants to do all these things with me. She loves to sweep, mop, and vacuum. She helps me with the dishes. She loves baking and cooking. (Her croutons are amazing!!) She is an excellent flower picker. I get to enjoy the wild flowers both inside and out. And she is only four.

If you have a daughter or niece or granddaughter; try the book Emily Elephant. It teaches you the great skills in life that you will always use.

Have a happy Wednesday!!🌼

The First Thing…

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

Of course, when I read the prompt my mind went blank. Before opening up the app my mind was spinning….

‘What will today’s prompt be? Memories, school from the past, poem?’ But no when it came down to the prompt. “First thing that comes to mind.” Nothing. Even as I sat on the couch and straining to come up with something….my husband thought I was having an issue. Haha 😂

As I am writing, I am trying to come up with something. But I’m sitting in the living room, on the couch, feeding my son. My daughter is sitting at her small art table in a corner drawing thank you pictures. (Her friend just gave her some socks.) My husband is eating his breakfast at the table telling me about the various things that are happening in his friends lives.

And I am trying to think of something, while listening to all the voices.

I guess that would be my thing. Voices. I seem to be someone who can either sit in complete utter silence otherwise, I have to be enveloped by noise. Coming from a larger family it was never quiet. But now that we live states away my household can be quiet occasionally. On those days, where the hubby is out tinkering in the shop, my daughter is using her imagination to play with her figurines in her doll house, and my son is happily playing with a measuring cup and bowl; I have to turn on some music to fill the void.

But voices…I can often hear my mom’s voice when I’m pondering my options. God’s voice when I’m conflicted or worried. Husband’s voice when I’m doing something that he would give me the look of, “Really?” My own thoughts too; often when I’m trying to do several things at once. My siblings voices when certain topics come up in conversation; I can hear them chiming in as if they were actually there.

Voices. They all are a great comfort to me. Because I know no matter what, I am loved.

A picture just came to mind. Let me try and draw it. My son is currently asleep on my arm as I’m writing this post. Don’t know how my digital drawing will be.

Digital Art: “Stillness Within”
By: emily2jane
04-22-23

Even if it’s everything is happening at once…there can still be stillness.

Have a wonderful day.

Random Word: Tremendous

Synonyms: huge, enormous, massive, immense, colossal, prodigious, etc.

First thing that came to mind… sharks.

Which I know is not the best association with tremendous. But I have an irrational fear of sharks. Not that a fear of sharks is not normal, but I fear sharks in places that sharks cannot actually be.

The swimming pool. Early or late practices, where you would see shadows. I would panic sometimes, irrationally, that a shark was stalking me.

In lakes. I once swam a 5K in a fresh water lake (dam) and I was panicking that a shark would appear.

When I was younger. This is more my siblings fault… but I would always have dreams of sharks attacking me, chasing me, or attacking my siblings and I always would save them and die.

My siblings found it hilarious to prank me. Humming the Jaws sound. Setting the family computer screen saver as sharks. Showing me videos of surprise shark attacks. Lovely things like that.

So much so that I cannot watch shark scenes in movies. That if the characters at all end up in a boat or in the ocean I begin to panic that a shark is going to appear. Which I was watching a movie yesterday, Unbroken, intense movie! But there are scenes of the characters surviving on a life boat in the middle of the ocean. I had to skip many parts of the movie… thankfully the music was great at foreshadowing. (I am not spoiling anything. It is in the description of the film.)

I will never watch Jaws! My brothers have tried to convince me for years. “That I’m missing out on a right of passage”, but nope. Not going to happen.

Tremendous….sharks…literally no, but in my brain yes.

Life As a Mama #2

I made a dumb deal with my husband when the baby was born…I would change all the diapers but he has to deal with any dead animals, spiders, etc. I thought it was a great deal in the beginning but now my life is forever diaper based. 😓

He occasionally does it…begrudgingly, but he does.

I tried to make this task not so dreary; I put the trash can away from my changing station. Mostly I did that to keep the trash can away from my smart cookie, but I try and make the diapers in with a toss. However I’m realizing that if I miss I need to walk over and throw it away quickly, because I’ve caught my sneaky thing trying to grab them through the gate.🤢 Not something a baby should play with.

It used to be basketball…swish, swish. Now it’s diapers…smelly, smelly.

Hugs…Part 6 (long again)

Hugs…Part 5

“Mama won’t you tell me what’s the matter?” Annie said as she tugged repeatedly on her mother’s sleeve that was now covered in snot and tears. “Mama, please stop crying.”

It had been two days since the man came to the house; two days of continuous tears. ‘She had a heart attack. She might be gone already. I might never get to say goodbye,’ Lizzy continued to pour over the news. How could she tell Annie, Annie who loved Miss Ann so much, and had been asking about her constantly? ‘How can I tell my baby girl that her friend has died or is dying?’ I wasn’t permitted to come to the hospital because I wasn’t family but I had been put as Miss Ann’s emergency contact.

“Mama…”

The phone rang interrupting Annie. “Yes, hello,” I answer hoping the news was from the hospital. “I understand, thank you.” Searching for the words, “Annie,” I yelled but forgot she hadn’t left my side, “we have to go see Miss Ann. She is asking for us.”

“Yipee!! I gets to see my friend,” Annie’s little body trembled with excitement and scurried away to get ready.

“Annie, please come back. I need to tell you something about Miss Ann,” I said as Annie came to my side. ‘How do I tell her this?’ “Annie, Miss Ann is…”

Annie excitedly was staring up at her mama anticipating the good news, “Yes, mama!”

I began, but was not able to finish. Annie ran from me, up the stairs, into her room, and slammed the door behind her.

I tried to reason with her but she said, ‘NO!’

“Hello, we are her to see a Miss Ann,” I had convinced Annie to come with me. I told her it might be the last time.

“One moment please,” the nurse at the front desk said as she stepped away to an older man, the doctor, cross the room. They looked at me and started towards us.

“Miss or Mrs…?”

“Miss Elizabeth and my daughter Annie,” I replied back to the doctor who seemed confused.

“Can I talk to you privately, could my nurse take your daughter to the play area and get her a snack?” he said pointing to the area across from the room where a bunch of little kids were.

“Sure,” I said to the doctor, then squatting down to Annie’s level. “You are going to go with this young lady. She is going to take you to the area where the little kids get to play. It’s the special area where you can imagine you are anywhere but here. Please go with her,” pleading with Annie to not make a scene.

“Yes, Mama,” she said without any responsive emotion or warmth. She just followed the woman to the play area, sat in a chair, and started reading a book.

“What’s wrong doctor? Is Ann alright. Can I see her now?”

“I’m sorry mam but someone was supposed to call you again. Miss Ann died about twenty minutes ago. She had another heart attack and she was gone. Mam…”

I must have been fading away; his quizzical expression slowly blurred and was gone.

My eyes fluttered open and I was on a hospital bed with little Annie next to me reading. I hate hospital beds; it reminds me of the scandal.

“Mam, are you back with us?” the same doctor was beside me taking my pulse. “You gave me quite a scare when you began to topple over. Your little girl though jumped the playpen barricade, and was by your side rubbing your head trying to revive you. You’ve got quite a helper there.”

Little Annie’s eyes sparkled a quick second but she did not look up from her book.

“I am sorry I did not brace you for the bad news. And I am sorry I told your daughter as well. After you fell and she was holding you she began yelling at me, and demanding the reason. I am sorry but I don’t like to lie to little kids.”

I looked over at my baby and the sparkle of happiness was gone, only to leave a tear streaming down her face and dripping onto the binding of the book. She still did not look up. I scooped her up into my arms and placed her on the bed with me; she stopped reading and buried her head into my chest and wept. “What now doctor? What happens now?”

“Well since she does not have any other family contacts we wanted to leave her effects with you both. She brought everything with her when the hotel staff called it in.”

As he produced her luggage, the same luggage I made her gather up and take with her when I kicked her out. “Did she say anything when she was conscious?”

“She only kept mumbling, ‘I am sorry…I wish I hadn’t been a coward…I wanted you to be mine…I had hoped to call you both mine.’ “She kept saying those things when she would come back to us. She also said this before she left us,” he was going to start but indicated Annie’s presence.

“It’s fine. She deserves to know what her friend said before she went home to His house.”

He retrieved a note pad, “She was saying too much stuff to me not to write it down so I could tell you everything word for word. She said to me,” ‘Please promise me something. If a young woman and child come to see me and I am already gone, please tell them I am sorry for leaving a second time. I should have stayed and fought to keep the family I wanted. Tell the little girl she is the most beautiful and charming little girl that I am happy to call my best friend.”

Annie’s sobbing silenced as she was listening to the doctor’s words. She squeezed me a little tighter when he had said what Miss Ann said.

He continued, ‘and please tell Lizzy that I never wanted to leave in the beginning. I just was cowardly and didn’t think I would be able to see you in a different family that was not with me. Please give her the folder in my luggage after you tell her these things. Hopefully she will understand.” As he said this he handed me an accordion folder. “Please tell her I still love her just as I did the first day I had to counsel her. I enjoyed the time is spent with them both and I felt a part of a family. A make sure to emphasize to her, I do not blame her for kicking me out. I am just happy I got to explain myself once more to her before I was gone.” He chuckled after the last part.

“What’s so funny,” I asked confused why he would laugh at her words.

“Oh no mam, she also told me that if I did not do as she said and tell you these things that she would haunt me the rest of my life and ruin all encounters of love. She also said that if I did tell you everything exactly as she wanted she would be the cause of my next love encounter. She was a stubborn woman, but I do hope you understood everything I said,” he said making sure I did in fact get everything he had told me; he probably believed that Ann would haunt him.

“You did, but I would still beware. She has a funny way of coming back into your life one way or another,” I said to be funny but it was true.

He chuckled as well, glance at us again and left the room.

The folder sat in my lap. I could quite put my finger on why I knew this folder, like I had seen it once before. ‘Why?’

“What’s wrong mama, aren’t you going to open it? I wonder what it is.”

I wonder too; I just didn’t know if I wanted to know. But it was Miss Ann’s dying wish I opened this folder. So… I opened the flap and found…“Wait really!?!”

“What’s wrong mama?”

“Are you okay mam,” the doctor must have been outside the room.

“I don’t believe it. She wanted me. She wanted me that day I told her I was being adopted. She had come that day to adopt me.” I kept rambling off different phrases trying to understand it all.

“”Yippee Mama, you were always wanted by someone who you loved.”

“Congratulations mam, being adopted is one of the greatest feelings, believe me.”

“Wait there is a second page in here. She updated the papers. She officially adopted me the day after I invited her to stay. I had a mama, for those few short days. Annie, that means you had a grandma for those few days too.”

“Awesome sauce! My best friend and my grandma were the same people.” Annie looked all excited for a moment, but then remembering. “I am sad she is gone though.”

“She isn’t truly gone. She is always with us and if God allows her she might just haunt us through our days. You too doctor sir,” I said with a small chuckle trying to uplift the mood.

“Well since today should be a happy day, for you being adopted and you finding out you had a grandma, I am going to take you too beautiful ladies out for dinner,” the doctor said as he also tried to also lift the mood. “Let me get cleaned up and you,” pointing at Annie, “will decide where we go.” He left the room probably to clock out and finish the last minute things.

I sat there excited for the food, excited for the company, excited for Annie; but also, I felt excited and warmed for me. I had a mama. A mama who fought to keep me. A mama who loved me until the end. A mama who I will remember for forever.

…Epilogue to Continue…

Sleeve

Hugs…Part 5

Hugs…Part 4

‘I don’t think she heard me,’ I said to myself because she hadn’t moved or responded to the great news. “Did you hear me Lizzy, it’s Miss…”

“I heard. I…”

Anticipation rising, I was having trouble controlling my emotions.

“I need you to leave. Leave this house without a word again, and actually keep your promise and never come back,” said without emotion or movements.

I was shocked she would say that; I thought she would be at least willing to understand my side of things. “Lizzy, aren’t you being a little unfair, I just want…”

“You have had forty years to explain. I will call you a cab. You will leave without saying goodbye to my daughter. Gather your stuff up and go.”

Lizzy exited the room towards her daughter, without so much of a tear; she just ended our conversation and began another with Annie.

I sat there a moment longer on the couch that I had thought I might get to stay on through the years. Being here with them gave me something to live for; I was going to attempt to make it to Annie’s adult life, if they would have had me. I stood and gathered my few belongings as a cab pulled up in front of the house. I didn’t want to just leave without saying goodbye; I didn’t want to relive my mistakes again. But I must respect her wishes and just leave. I walked up to the door, I thought I would never have to walk through again, and a second time stepped away from a family I wish I could have been a part of.

My body felt so heavy and my heart was slowly breaking. ‘What’s the point anymore, God? Is it time for me to come home, yet?’ as I plopped my body into the back of the cab as the cabby loaded my belongings.

“Where to Mam?” he said as routinely and generic as possible.

As I looked back towards the house, looking back at me through the living room window was little Annie’s tearful eyes. “Anywhere so crowded that I can’t be bothered by my feelings.”

He started the engine, and started to pull away from now just a memory.

Annie was no longer in the house she was running down the steps towards my leaving car. Stirring up the hard but bearable memory of leaving Lizzy the first time, ‘I don’t think I will live through this time,’ hearing Annie’s pleading cries and seeing her sobbing face. She will haunt me until my dying day.

…-…

We got back to the city back where I started outside the hotel, I had to weave through the bodies without being completely trampled. “Easier said than done, I must say,” I croaked out when I finally entered the flashy, cramped lobby. Booking my room, getting settled, and finally sitting in the slightly comfiest chair in the corner, I wept until I had no tears left. I sat in that chair for hours because I had no more energy for anything.

..-..

“Mam…? Mam,” the cleaning lady outside the door had been knocking for a while. “Mam? I’m coming in, excuse my entrance,” she said as she entered the door.

..-..

“Mama, what happened to the old lady with us? I miss her, and she didn’t even say goodbye. Mama?”

“She had to leave, Annie. Please don’t ask again.” Lizzy said as she stared out the window watching a man walk his grungy, cur-like dog down the street. “What an awful dog.”

“Mama, you okay? You always say what a poor dog and what a poor old man.”

‘How does she know these things,’ Lizzy thought to herself, ‘yes, when did I become so cynical?’ “I’m sorry my darling in just confused. What are you up to today?”

There was a knock at the door, just as Annie began to list off her long To-Do-List, “One minute Annie, let me get the door,” but she continued to ramble off. “Yes, hello,” as she said as she opened the door.

“Are you Elizabeth Kiddman, Mam?” a tall, crisp man standing on the porch said.

“Yes, that’s my legal name. May I ask what this is about? Annie, please stop rambling! Sorry I’m distracted, she is a handful,” Lizzy said as she gave the man her undying attention just as Lizzy latched onto her leg beside her.

“Mam, do you know a Ms. Ann…”

“Yep we do! She is the old lady that had to leave us suddenly,” Annie blurted out before he could finish.

“Annie darling, please go wait for me in the living room,” Lizzy could feel the indescribable tension building inside the man.

“But why…? Okay fine, whatever,” she begrudgingly went as she was told.

“Again, my apologies. Yes, we know of her. What about her?”

Annie was straining to hear her mother, but she only caught her mother whispering out, ‘what…when…how?’ So against all orders she ran back to the front door to protect her mother, but instead she entered just as her mother collapsed to the floor.

…To Be Continued…

Cur