What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
Soldiers coming home. That’s what I thought of when I read the prompt. Strangely, soldiers coming home to surprise their loved ones have been in my short videos lately. Those videos always make me cry; I always tear up.
I’ve never had this experience. No one in my family went into the military. Which I know was a huge bummer to my brothers. But became of eyes, asthma, etc it was not an option for them. (they have new passions now.)
But I admire all the military. That they do the hardest job. They leave their loved ones to protect us and our loved ones.
So I continue to watch the solider coming home videos. Even though I’m always in need of tissues. Because it is a reminder that what they are doing is worth admiring.
So admire them, thank them, care for them. They deserve it. You are free because they protect.
Synonyms: a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unpenitent person passes after death.
…
Escape this!
Fire and darkness,
Waits for you.
Perdition is not the only option.
Turn to God!
Accept His hand,
Ask Him to come,
And make you new.
Live life for His good news.
Spread the Word to all,
Everyone come.
Live eternally in heaven.
Peace and light,
Waits for you.
…
My faith has been reignited within the last few days. A pastor who I’ve been watching said, “Focus on habit and not feelings.” So I will turn away from what has been keeping me back and away from God. And I will put God back front and center!
I’ve been not really living a very Christ first, life these last eight years. I’ve not really listened to a sermon for eight years. Sermons can be heard every day of the week not just Sunday, I just discovered. Haha. I’ve just been going through the motions of being a Christian. But with my faith being awakened. I’ve realized how the devil must have snuck into a door I thought I had closed from my past. And he’s been lurking making me not living fully.
Like I relied on God being there for me when I needed Him. But not that He needs me to spread his Word too. And that He’s always with me, not just when He is needed.
But it’s amazing. I have more energy in a day. I’m not exhausted by bedtime. I am less frustrated and angry. I have more compassion for others. I’m enjoying reading my Bible. Sharing what I learn with my mom. It’s amazing when you restructure your life back, with God first. That life gets better.
What’s the first impression you want to give people?
People just get the shield I throw up in social situations.
My first impression is not by my design. I am still socially uncomfortable. I’m not awkward I’ve come to find out, I’m uncomfortable.
So as much as I want to give a great first impression, I usually am quiet, alone, and terrified.
I probably look angry or annoyed to others. That my resting face was glaring and now it’s scared.
So yes I would love my first impression to be confident, or togetherness, or calmness. But instead it’s my shield of I’m uncomfortable and I don’t want to be here. Haha!
But having kids has really helped me. I can’t have my shield up when I’m with my kids. So if my kids are with me, I am less terrified and more focused on them with a hint of acknowledgement that people are there too.
So as much I love quiet alone time at home, in social gatherings I need my kids around. Because through the years I’ve gone back to being quiet with grown ups.
I don’t know how to be around people. I haven’t needed to living up north. But going to church last Sunday was a huge wake up call, that all the hard work I did before is gone. I started to have an anxiety attack again. But I was able to trick my brain into still functioning because I was holding my baby girl. I could give her 100% of my focus.
So…I guess what I’m saying from this is don’t be discouraged if you are someone who is socially awkward or like me, uncomfortable. You will evenly find something that helps you. For me it is my kids. I know for others it has been a pet, topics, food, etc. maybe all you need is something tangible to touch to keep you grounded in gatherings. Mine before was doodling. I would be drawing in a corner somewhere. This is still my go to if my kids are not around. But mostly it’s because I love to draw. But try different things. I hope and pray that all challenged social people find the niche. Also I pray that confident social people go easy on us. It takes more then just throwing us into social situations to make us be immersed in people. But to us, we are drowning in anxiety if you do this.
So for both sides. Be patient. It can get better with hard work.
Also. Sometimes people’s first impressions are not the truth. That’s it’s just their shield that protects them. So don’t write someone off after the first meeting. That it can take a few for them to show you their true first impression.
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
When it is a well deserved lazy day I enjoy it throughly. I just lay around and rest. Because I deserve it. I do so much in a day that I deserve a down day every two weeks; sometimes only once a month.
But the days where I have to be lazy…where my kid is sick, where it’s raining or snowing, where I didn’t get enough sleep; I feel like a slacker. That I’m not doing enough.
Like yesterday morning, all from scratch, I made 4 batches breakfast potatoes, eggs & sausages, waffles, strawberry jam, strawberry paste, bread, froze the avocados…and I still felt lazy to make PB&Js for lunch. And I again felt lazy when we had leftovers for dinner.
I just can’t seem to make my days easy. Because when I do, I feel like I’m not doing enough.
But it seems like emptier days are heading my way. Now with an hour of open time, I’m going to do craft projects with my kiddos. Or science projects. Or reading books. Etc. I’m finding the good. Not that I will have an hour of free time for myself. But that I’m going to use it on my kids in a new way.
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?
This is not true. Not all baby clothes are keepers.
Buttons… I despise buttons on the back of clothes for infants and toddlers. Snaps, good. Pull overs, good. Zippers….not infants but yes for toddlers. Buttons…nope.
Boys button up shirts are fine. But who decided that buttons as the clasps on infant clothes was a good idea. Did that person ever try to button clothes on an infant? Probably not.
I don’t mind buttons as decorative on the back, but it better be snaps underneath.
I used to like all clothes. When I just had my first daughter it was fine. I had time for the buttons. Now being on third child, there’s no time for buttons. Haha!
It’s a simple thing, to most. But to me it’s definitely a big thing. Haha!
I need to make a change. I hurt. I hurt everywhere. I’m only in my thirties, and I feel like I’m well into my forties. I need to do more.
The point of having our kids young, was so that we could enjoy them more. But I have no extra energy in a day; not even to go on a one hour walk at night. Key word: Walk! Not even strenuous. But I have no energy to accomplish that. I need to say it’s an hour walk, but about 30min in my son is tired and “needs” to be carried back. He’s about thirty pounds…so I’m usually dead when we get back to the house.
My night doesn’t end there; I have showers, bedtime, story time, baby feeding time, then I get to go to sleep. But do I? No. By then I’ve missed my window of being tired and I have to wait until the next window opens.
So back to changing. My husband feels the same. He wants to start exercising. He’s in his thirties too. He shouldn’t be hurting so much either.
So we are starting things. I’m going to try and cook differently. Not severely. But less carbs and more vegetables. Not the kids, they need carbs.
The husband wants to start a military month workout. I’m all for this plan. Haha!
But I want to swim occasionally. Try for three times a week. Swimming is the best exercise for me. It works my whole body. It will also help loosen my back muscles.
But something needs to change. This is usually when we make these decisions. At the end of the year. But we are hoping to try for our last kid this time next year; so I want to loose sixteen pounds before trying again. That’s not a crazy amount.
My doctor told me I was a little overweight at my last appointment; that if I lost sixteen to twenty pounds my BMI would be back to perfect. But when my doc told me that I was ten pounds heavier and I already lost that.
So my #1 priority is to change things. Like even this blog. I wrote a post instead of mindlessly playing my game, I decided to write instead. Make a change!
I am not really a brand type person. I’ve never cared about brands on clothes. If it fits, and it’s comfortable that’s what I’m buying. Which actually works the best for me because most brands are designed for smaller women. Like 5ft 3” to 5ft 6”. Add 5” and you’ve got me. So their dresses are shirts. Their pants are capris. Their shorts are…scandalous.
So instead I’ve always loved handmie downs. I love them! Free clothes! It’s gotten to the point though that I have to give handmie downs to my sister and not vice versa.
But I love shopping at thrift stores, Ross, Burlington coat factory. Any store where you have to dig for your pieces. Because then you really are picking them hints you like initially off the rack. Then you try it on, and decide again, “is this me?”
I used to take ten things into the dressing room and buy all ten things. Spending about $300 without blinking. My mom told me I had to stop. There was only so many clothes I could wear in a lifetime. $100 limit. So then before marriage I would take ten things in and maybe only buy 3-4 depending on prices. I actually was that person that did the calculations before buying, including tax. Making sure I didn’t go over the limit. Which is why I loved thrift stores. I could get ten things and still be under budget.
And now with kids I think differently. Also the thrift store I go to is a pay what you can. At least $1 an item. Which is awesome!! Because there was a while there that we had no extra money. And I was able to still get nice things for about $5 every few months.
I guess the only brand store I’ve gone into and spent the shiny penny recently was called Lilyful. The name was so pretty and their clothes were pretty too. But I still only shopped in the clearance section. Because I got a beautiful dress for $50. Originally $150…!
But I’ve gone back a few times. But always I go straight to the clearance. But now they are only online. Which I won’t be doing, because that means less clearance items and no trying on. And I have to try things on. Since I’m not a normal size ever.
But I do know other brands. Like Merell shoes. My husband likes them. Milwaukee tools. Again my husband loves. And Ram. My husband loves his truck. Haha!
First. I am a visual and somewhat audible learner. Meaning. If I hear something two to three times I can remember the words. Like songs. I can listen to a song a few times and then I know the song by heart. Even the songs I want to forget, but those are still in there.
But it has to be to music. My husband can tell me something everyday and I can’t remember. But only with music can I memorize.
My daughter is the same way.
Second. Even without the learning aspect, I’ve always loved music. At one point I wanted to learn singing. I love singing, but a lack of confidence has always stopped me. But singing to songs has always been something I love.
Third. Music calms my children. Strangely enough. It can be complete chaos; and I turn on some tunes and they settle. My daughter still dances in her seat, but all three kiddos are happy at once.
I also enjoy watching them dance to songs. Or make up the lyrics to songs. Some songs have been changed for life.
Like we played “Another On Bites The Dust” and my daughter said “biting dust is gross, and they are going to be sick if they do that. They should maybe clean their house to stop eating dust.” Haha!
But for me the music keeps the chaos in check. And if there is always noise my youngest can sleep through anything. When it is too quiet is when she will wake up unhappy.
Fourth. Also I like finding new songs. My husband just found some new music. It was recommended by his friend. I really like it. Especially since it’s Bible verses. Since it’s to music I will be able to memorize them.
Heal Me Oh Lord (Psalm 6) by Highway to Zion
Starts off slow but then it builds. This is the kind of music my kiddos are liking at the moment. Also my youngest will instantly fall asleep.
Cooking food for my family. Hearing my husband praise my food. Or even better, my kiddos yelling, “this is the best food ever, mama!”
Trying to be patient. I struggle with this one. But when I do succeed I usually get huge smiles from my kids.
The end of the day hugs. Usually at the end of a day I feel defeated. Like there were times I could have had mor patience. Or could have made better food. Or given my husband more attention. But usually at the end of those days I get my kids coming up to me saying, “you are the best mama ever! I love you,” and finishing with hugs and kisses.
Fitting into my skinny pants. When I’m good and stay within my healthy food intake I can fit into those clothes that should be packed away, but I keep them out to motivate myself. And as soon S I get to that point I….will be pregnant again. Haha!
Sometimes I just need a hug. When I’m feeling discouraged or useless, I need a hug from my hubby. His hugs gives me so much more energy, that I feel motivated to finish out the awful day.
Writing a post. Posting something on my blog makes me think that I’m having a more accomplished day than I might actually be having. But publishing something can motivate me to be extra productive. Which I have made breakfast, started bread, cooked food for my husband’s upcoming trip, started a load of wash, and have my kids ready for the day. Now I’m posting something. Pretty full first half of the day.
Swimming. Anytime I swim I feel rejuvenated and ready for life. I miss swimming. I really want to be in a pool.
Motivation can come from anything. Things said, things you do, things are done, memories, etc. It’s not going to be a generic motivation moment, you might have to look through your life and find unconventional types of motivation. They are out there!
emily2jane 