Tag Archives: love

Kiss.

I think the sweetest thing in the world… Is getting a kiss from your baby. When they don’t know how to give you a smooch and they just open up their mouth and place their whole everything on your cheek… and they give a soft giggle at the same time; it is one of the sweetest things in the world.

And when you return the kiss they laugh and giggle. That small giggle makes you feel so happy and warm.

As I’m writing this she’s talking along with me. She wants to help as mommy writes.

Even if it’s a thought of a kiss or a real one give it to someone you love today.💕

Is it truly Complicated?

“Love is a complicated thing”…that’s what most people say.

I don’t; fake love, forced love, or even a wanted love that God indicates it’s not the right time, of course, are complicated. Believing that love is there when it’s blatantly not, is always complicated. Or forced love…forced love is almost exactly like fake love but it feels worse. Because if it has to be forced, then occasionally the other person is not faithful, or they are manipulating you for their own gain. But the one that got me countless times was the wanted love…wanting, but God implying it was not the one for you or that it is not the time. Wanting something so badly and constantly being shut down or cut off, also, if you ignore the signs given to you, you result to either fake or forced.

But don’t fret; there are many roosters in the world, but to find one that is loyal you must have outside help. For me when the right rooster came along it was easy; we were perfect. It had its ups and downs but my rooster stayed with me through the toughest of times. God helped me find my rooster and without His help, I was only finding fake or manipulating ones.

Now my rooster and I have been married almost 6 months, and we are thinking about having some miniature ones. It won’t be until we are a little more settled, but soon, we will have baby chickens or roosters running around.❤️

I know this post is a little odd, but I wanted to tie in the daily prompt to my daily drawings…I won’t do this every day, but I thought it would be fun for a while.

Fret

Evoke.

“Will she ever wake up?” a figure uncurled from a huge lounge chair in the corner.

“I don’t know, she might eventually but for the time being we must wait,” the doc said with no emotion or concern.

No one really cares if she does or not. Everyone is just reeling in their paycheck after paycheck. I know I’m only seventeen but I know that as long as she stays immobilized and unconscious they all continue to get money. That doctor is just one of those people, but her family has paid him handsomely over the years for her care, so he wouldn’t say no to an easy mark like this.

“You don’t have to stay in here Daniel, I will sit with her if you want to go outside for a while,” the doc said as he begun to drag a chair towards her bed.

“BACK OFF! You don’t care about her. Get out!” I’m young but not weak. I will defend her.

“Okay, okay, and you are wrong Daniel, I do care.” He gazed at her once again before leaving the room.

The room was quiet now, leaving the only sound to be echoed down the hall as the doc slipped away. “He doesn’t care, not like I do.” I creep towards her as she lay softly breathing in pattern to the light breeze. Everyone says I’m foolish to give her too much hope; that I should be outside enjoying the life I have. “How can I enjoy it, if she is not here?”

               The day continued into night, and continued into days. The household continued to bring food, change her sheets, dust the room, and snicker to themselves about when the she will depart.

No one truly cares for her; no one here wants her to survive, besides me. She is the reason my heart still beats; I wish I could make hers jumpstart.

               Months passed and still no change, the doc has given up hope. He just wants a higher pay grade before he continues to, “waste his time” his words, on someone who might never awake from their comma. “I’m sorry son, but I think we should just call it; she hasn’t made change these last eight months, it’s cruel to leave her in this state.”

“You touch her and you will die. I know you are only here for the money, you don’t care for her. You just want to fill your pockets before she goes. NO ONE CARES! Leave us!” I lost it, as his hand reached for the plug. I remember lunging and squirming with the doc; I know my fists made contact with his jaw more than once. I remember several voices, limbs, and bodies; then all went black.

…8 years later…

               My life changed after that day. I guess I made real damage on the doc’s face because he pressed charges. I don’t know how, but I was sent to jail for the night; I was seventeen and they thought I deserved it I guess, because I wouldn’t let her go. I was released eventually; I guess they worried that my revenge for blood would cause me to hunt down and murder the man that put me here. But what was the point, my reason for breathing was gone. Since she was denied the ability to breathe, why should I waste my breath on worthless scum?

After that day, I swore I would fight for people who couldn’t fight for themselves. Of course I was a teenager and faced various fears and horrors but I kept protecting the “littler guy”.  Which caused me to land in prison occasionally, but I couldn’t stand to see people treating loved ones so harshly. You should care and protect them, because they might be taken from you.

After the last time in the tank I decided enough was enough; I couldn’t be in prison for another moment. No matter the actions of people in the world, I can’t experience the brutal, harsh, environment as jail again; no one had my back, no one protected me from others, no one cared enough to sacrifice themselves for me like I had done.

I moved upstate away from everyone. I didn’t care if I never saw a familiar face again. A hermit’s life is the best way of life. I got a small putter job at a large estate as a gardener, good money and peaceful work. I became one of the plants; something alive but just puttering around waiting to be done.

             You know when you can feel someone watching you, but every time you turn there is no one; that is when you know you have been alone to long.

            “What are you doing?” a voice said.

The voice startled me, and I jutted backwards and stepped in hole as I tumbled backwards. “Crap!” Looking up I stare into the eyes of a child, a small girl. “What are you doing sneaking up on people?”

“Sorry, I’ve been watching you, and I was just curious what you planned to do with the rose bush?”

The small face glowed with laughter and excitement. I haven’t seen a child smile in many years. “You shouldn’t sneak on people,” or stock people I mumbled low enough she wouldn’t hear. “What do you care what I’m doing?”

“No reason, you just moved it there, then there, then there, then…” she continued on and on pointing at the various spots I did indeed move it.

“I don’t know, it just isn’t thriving as it should be.”

A small giggle escaped her mouth, “It won’t unless you give it a chance.”

“What…” but the small figure ran up the driveway and waved good bye. “Strange…oh crap my ankle…”

               It’s odd but I waited all morning for the small figure to return. I wanted to complain to her, about her being the cause for my ankle swelling. But she didn’t appear and there was no lingering feeling of being watched. Strange, her being the first person I have felt comfortable with since that day so long ago…

            “What ya up to now?” a girlish squeal came from behind the tree.

At least this time I was clipping the branches of a different tree, “I’m just puttering along. My supervisor said to just do a little of this and a little of that…nothing too exciting. What are you up to?”

She popped out from the tree, skirted around the trunks, to my side, “I’m just out and about. I’m supposed to soak up as much sun and fresh air as I can before returning home, or at least that is what I’m told. Can I help?”

About to tell her no, or I work alone; however instead, I looked into her excited but longing face; I understood the feeling, “Sure, take the cut-off branches and throw them in the waste, but first go get some gloves.”

“Okay!” she scurried off to find some, then began to help me. It was nice to have help, but mostly the company was very new.

Not one peep of complaint came from her all morning, but I could see the strain on her face. I called her over to take a break and sat on the tailgate of my truck swigging back a coke enjoying the sweet summer air. “So do I get to know your name or what?” I asked her as she finished her last sip, “and also your age?”

“Gabriella and 9 ½, yours?”

“Daniel, and umm….blmfpf”

“Huh?”

“Oh alright, 25.” And of course she giggled…

             Again sitting in silence we just watched the leaves float through the air, and the birds soaring a hovering through the tall pines. “Should you be getting back home? Someone will be worried,” as I lifted her to the ground and closed the tailgate.

“Maybe, but I’ve never been missed. I just am…” a flicker of sadness trickled through her face, but disappeared as soon as it appeared.

“Do you want a lift? I’m driving that way anyways, I’m done for the day.”
“Sure. Your old body can’t take any more…” she roared with laughter.

“I’m not old, little missy, I am at my prime age; thank you very much.” Attempting to tickle her, but instead opening the passenger door.

She hopped up and yanked the door shut as well as she could. I sunk into my seat and we were off. Cruising down the road she stuck head out the window letting her flop of hair twist and fly about. To be young and carefree, I haven’t felt that way since I was her age. Her directions were not so much as directions as sudden go this way and that way, but we were driving for a while before she yelled, “Turn!”

Sharpest turn I have ever taken, “Little warning next time please.”

There on a small hill sat a small house. It looked familiar, like evoking a memory from a dream.
“Thank you mister, see you tomorrow,” she clambered out of the truck and started toward the house. I just watched her go, and then the front door opened…Her…

Evoke

Complicated.

The thought of moving is exciting and thrilling. It gets my mind chasing and springing to life! What will my neighbors be like? How will the neighborhood fair, to right now? When will I start having kiddos!?!😊 Will my home be as colorful as I imagine? Will the sky be as beautiful or more so?

On the other hand, moving also means leaving my family behind. They can always come visit, they can always come and see me. But it won’t be often. I won’t see my mom, sister, and brother everyday at work. There won’t be birthday parties once a month (pretty much). Holidays will be hard….and I will miss them terribly.

They have always been there and I have missed the occasional crazy chime-in voice when I say something clever. My husband I do, do it often but it’s different when there are various voices. I’ll miss the moments when I want a mama hug, being able to drive to her house and steal one. I’ll miss seeing my nephews grow up into who they will be.

So much sadness comes up when I think about moving, but also excitement…

So I drew this picture because it’s beautiful to me. And I don’t know if I’m in the house that is colorful or if I’m spying on the house that is beautiful.

Art.

Haven’t had time to write new posts, because of work, school, and planning a wedding. But I have been able to edit photos and make new art, eventually I will paint these. All photos taken by emily2jane and edited by emily2jane.

Taken while driving
Relaxing in Boston
You can’t guess what this is…
Me and future hubby💕
Our View
An engagement photo

I’m never not doing art. Some way or another I have art in my life. 😊

Quilting

Since I’ve been taking care of grandma again, I have begun a quilt. My mother suggested it because grandma has an abundance of fabric and it would be nice to make something with her. 

So one day when we were sorting fabrics I said, “Oooo😮, I like this fabric for a little man’s quilt…” and I set it aside. And the morning continued with me stacking different cotton linens together. Grandma was fine with it but concerned with my choices. But I told her not to worry, that I had a plan! 👍

Next day I took them home and began washing them all. She once had cats so I’m am deathly allergic to everything on the 3rd floor. 😵

Then the squares began…it’s a long process and to get grandma into the mix I asked her to iron the fabric. She is able to do it and it takes her a bit of time so it makes my job less stressed.


The squares process took some time! But my crazy patterns look well together… 😎


I still had 5 more fabrics to cut…but my vision would be completed!!

This last Friday we began the pattern process, or as I see it a giant puzzle coloring book! 


I understand you can make 9 square patterns and then stitch them together but instead I wanted to come up with my own pattern. So grandma sat across from me and would stop me if I was putting one in a terrible place. And sometimes I would tell her to chime in with her opinion, because when mother got here I wanted and expected her to do the same! Love you Mother! ❤️

The process should have stopped as grandma went to take a nap and mother left to get some cookies to celebrate her birthday and I was supposed to be making lunch, but instead I tried to finish. 

After lunch I finished laying them out and I love it. Mother helped me move some things around…

Initially I was making it for my future kiddos, hopefully a boy, but actually this quilt would be okay for either a boy or a girl. 

Mom showed me how to organize it and make it simpler for the next process of sewing.


Grandma and I made it all cute for the photo! 😊

And not only am I going to make a quilt, something I have never done, but to bite off more I’m going to quilt it. 

Not in this design but I was practicing…


I want these quilts,  I make to be an heirloom. Something that my future grandkids can get and can continue on. 😊💕

I’ll post more photos when we continue… wish us lots of luck!  😊

“White dress…check, veil…check, flowers…check, food…check,” Emma whispers…

“How’s the list coming, Honey?” Emma’s mother chimes into her dreamland. Have you decided upon everything you want?

“I think so Mother,” as Emma recites it back to her, confident that she is finished.

“You forgot place. You don’t know where you will have it? Has Nathan given you an idea he likes?”

“A place…” Emma ponders… “Nathan wants it to be in a place up in the woods, he went there for his parent’s renewal. It sounds beautiful but I don’t see us being able to afford it.” Why must there be hints of sadness while planning a happy occasion.

“I’m sorry my darling, but it is good to have a budget. Without one you would plunge into your life savings and that money is for the future; you are allowed to be prudent with your earnings,” Emma’s mother says while embracing Emma, “All will work out my baby.”

I was happy with the idea of being married at City Hall then having a grand big reception afterwards. But Nathan had his idea of a ceremony in front of friends and family. I have also always dreamed about having my almost niece be the flower girl, while the youngest nephew is being a batman symbol thrower. Next, my sister in-law walking down, my second eldest sister, then my eldest sister. My mother would be in the audience with my other nephew, because they prefer to be seen but not stared at. Next would come myself and my brothers; they would be giving me away. Hopefully both, but my eldest brother might be sitting with my mom, because he like she are similar. But for sure my younger brother will, he is my best friend. So yes, I have thought about a ceremony, the idea of having my friends and family taking part in our happy occasion warms my soul. But then that is more spending. If the place and seating was taken care of, I would be able to do the rest, within my budget. We just cannot afford it all.

Understand that Emma has told her mother all of this before, so as Emma sits quietly debating these thoughts in her head, Emma’s mother is just holding her and giving a head scratch.

“What if we had it at Grandpa’s and Grandma’s? The space is big enough. It might not give us everything, and we would have enough within our budget for the rest of the occasion.” Emma suggests an idea, nothing is set in stone.

“I am sure they would love to have you there. But you must discuss it with your future husband, these choices should be a team effort. Everything will be perfect because you are marrying someone you love.”

“Thanks mama, I love you.”

“I love you too, my baby girl.”

Prudent