Tag Archives: Truth

Reflections

Looking Back

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Looking back through old photos on Facebook, I came across one from 11 years ago. It’s amazing how much time has gone by and How much I’ve changed since then. Funny as it may be I recognized my ex boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend that a child should never have when they’re 15-16. (Just my opinion) But I had one and looking back at it it was terrible idea and a great learning experience as well.

It’s amazing how looking back at my younger years I remember all the hardships I went through as a teenager, but also as all the great times I had.

In regards to the ex-boyfriend… This doesn’t need to be said but it’s what I’m thinking about. And I have a daughter now so my mind thinks of the future for her. My advice to her in the future would be…

If you like someone and they don’t know you exist it’s OK. Just live out your teenager years having a crush on that person and don’t need someone else. One of my friends convinced me that my crush would never know and that I should date this other guy because we would look good together. I was young and naïve and didn’t really know what I was doing. Also when you are young and wanting to experience love you just make stupid mistakes.

Another thing you don’t think about when we were young, don’t date someone who you are on a competitive team with. Because I didn’t know it was possible…but I wanted to break up with him probably two months before I actually did. I told my coach that things weren’t working out and I was going to end it with him. (coach always knew everything anyways so we always just told her everything). But in response coach told me, “hold off until after the season is over so he doesn’t compete terrible.” Never realized that winning trumped my happiness. I guess It did.

I guess my advice to my daughter would be keep that crush and just stick with that. If you never become something it’s fine. Crushing on someone is more fun than dating at that age anyways. Unless you find that person you’ve been best friends with since forever and you guys stick together and then end up getting married, but that’s one in a million… Just wait until you’re older to date. You were right mother! The other is don’t date someone you compete with because your coach might choose winning over you.

I guess the last thing would be don’t hold onto the crush for forever. When you both are leaving and going off and starting your life just confidently go up to that person and say, “ I liked you. You were a great crush to have through my teenage years. But that’s all it was was a crush. Thank you for being that for me. Have a great life.” And then just walk away.

Because if you don’t, it kind of is just there forever. If you don’t give your crush closure it just lingers. Not saying I’m crushing or anything, It’s just a weird feeling. I guess one sided crushes never really go away until you speak them out. To summarize: keep the crush and just do that, until one day you guys are both leaving going separate ways, just tell him and move on.

Cover photo: by emily2jane

Reflections

It seemed weird this year…

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It’s been almost 3 years…but this year making my birthday cake felt weird. It shouldn’t but it did. I got to zoom my family which was nice but making the cake, putting the candles in, and lighting them this year felt strange.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Mama now and my birthday isn’t as important as before when I didn’t have a baby…

It just felt strange this year.

Also my sisters cakes are to die for!! 😍

Reflections

Breathing.

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Breathing is a simple thing.

To most people this statement would seem funny. Or might ask, “What’s the need to ask this simple question?”

Okay, then breathing in physical exercise. Whenever you exercise you need to focus on your breathing. I’ve been doing an online gym app and constantly the instructors are saying, “remember to breath. If your not breathing I don’t know how you are doing it.” Again this seems to be knowledge that everyone knows.

But here is how this simple phrase becomes tricky. I constantly catch myself holding my breath. Doing abs, running, cardio, even stretching. When I think back to my younger years it has always been the same.

As some of you know I was a competitive swimmer for about 15 years. Swimming is a sport that defies all other instructors rules about breathing. Our phrase we always said was, “Breathing is overrated.”

So here I am trying to exercise and better myself and I can’t break the no breathing habit while exercising. I used to be able to streamline underwater for both 50 yards and 50 meters without breathing. Also sprinting those distances for competitive swimming events with only one breath.

I finished my exercise session for the day and I was dying. Not because of being inflexible, not because I am sadly out of shape, just because I caught myself several times holding my breath.

Since I am no longer a swimmer I need to change my ways and become a normal human being. I’ll check back with you all in a few years; either I will be a better breather or I will be still stuck with my habit.

So all I can say is breathe when the teachers say to. But if you were a swimmer, don’t worry you are not alone.

A very quick drawing…🤓
Reflections

Listening and Talking.

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Both are important. Don’t let it build up inside you about to explode. Think before you talk. Listen to what you are spewing. Listen to the responses. Think before responding…(repeat)

Again. And again. And again.

It’s difficult, but needed, to help mend broken things. Hope your Wednesday was better than mine. At least it’s now Thursday…new day, new beginning.

Life As A Mama, Reflections

Life as a Mama #4

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I have been blessed in the past. I have always gotten sick before or after the baby got sick. I didn’t think much of it it, but now I realize it was a blessing. Because now we are both sick with a terrible cold. I wish my mama was up here to take care of me and my baby. Because sometimes I just want to crawl into a hole and hide, but I can’t do that; especially since while she is sick she wants mommy all the time.

So I guess this sickness is making me miss my mama more than usual. Love you mama ❤️

Reflections

Self conscious…

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Being called out for one of your past selfs actions, can hit you and make you feel so self conscious. It’s amazing I thought as I grew up I wouldn’t get embarrassed as much…mostly because having a baby changes you.

But still having someone you love make-fun of something you did before, makes your heart hurt. I know it wasn’t on purpose and the person meant to be funny but I’ve always been a self conscious person. I’m not spontaneous, I can’t be…especially now as the thing I was teased about was something I did spontaneously. It makes you think back through your life and question everything else.

Writing helps me deal with my problems or feelings, and move past them. It’s not a big thing it’s just something small…but it still gets me.

So I guess…don’t be afraid to be spontaneous. It terrifies me, but I’ll teach my daughter to be…she’ll learn the awesomeness of planning, but I hope she will not be as self conscious…being self conscious 90% of the time is not the greatest way to live. But I make do, because that’s how I am and I want to be just me.

Happy Tuesday, just because every day should be a happy day…😊

My cover photo ‘Facebook picture’ didn’t have someone’s name, just something I found.

Creativity, My Story, Reflections

Oh Baby…

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Having a baby has been very interesting. I love her deeply, the sweet little giggles she does are priceless. I love her kisses when she gives me them on my cheek. I love it when she smiles so much that it takes up half of her face. She such a sweet sweet.❤️

But I do miss my sleep. Which makes me think of this topic…There of been many ways to lose weight…

Some people of use the machines that shake you until all your chub is confined into your stomach. There are now things that can freeze your chub so that it shrinks your stomach. I think that getting your tummy kicked 100 times throughout the night by tiny baby feet should also help get rid of your tummy chub. I think it’s only fair…

Even still I love her. She makes my night interesting. Like right now we are wide-awake at 10:46 PM and I don’t tthink we’ll be going to sleep for probably a couple more hours. But again she is my sweet sweet. ❤️

Oh no she spitting up…

Creativity, Reflections

Family❤️

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Since my hubby works long hours also along with a crazy schedule; I was getting lonely. I am a people person to a point. I don’t like quiet. I will contradict that statement: I like alone time but only so much.

So we decided to add to the family. Even though we have our first on the way; I needed some company sooner. We got two.

Her name is Pickles. She was super shy when we got her. She came from an animal shelter. It was a happy place for an energetic dog but not a shy one. She has grown to love us these past seven days. She now wants all the attention and she is a little bit of a trouble maker. The only sound she has made is small whimpers when she needs to go to the bathroom or some barking when she is defending her brother.

His name is Moose. He was also super shy. He is eight weeks old. He seems like he has never had a loving home. So we want to give him one; ten times over.

After we got them I was having severe allergies. I knew it was not because of them because it was a different allergy.

So it turns out down by the Yellowstone river there are hundreds of cotton wood trees. I have discovered I am super allergic to cotton trees blooming. It has passed though. Thankfully I moved up after the bloom; however, now I know May/ June will be difficult. The small town feel out ways the other difficulties we might face.

Have a wonderful Tuesday.

(I had to check the calendar because here the days quickly morph into each other.)

❤️