He ran away. He actually ran away. I told him we’re pregnant and he ran away. Like seriously. I told him, and he didn’t say anything; he just walked to the door, picked up his car keys, and left the apartment. It’s been four days and he’s not been home.

What does he think of me? Does he really think I’m a gold digger? Yes, I knew he has money but that’s not why I’m with him. Does he not remember he pursued me. In the beginning, I didn’t want anything to do with him. Money scares me; money can make people act funny. So I actually avoided him in the beginning.

But he pursued me until there was no escaping him. So we started dating. In secret. It was my idea; I didn’t any of my coworkers to know I was dating the boss. Rumors never helped anyone. Then we moved in together. It wasn’t planned; I got evicted from my apartment suddenly and he offered his place. In the beginning we stayed separately. Everything was fine. It was hard to be strong when he was only a few feet from you, but I knew it was right to be separate.

Until one night he made the first move. It seemed so sudden. But one thing led to another and…no. I stopped him. I wasn’t going to sleep with him without a proper engagement. I needed to know that he wanted all of me forever. I thought I had ruined it for us; that he was going to leave me, because I barely saw him the next two days. But to my surprise I came home to a romantic apartment. Rose petals, candlelight, crooner love songs; all the things he swore were cheesy and he would never do. He got down on one knee and asked me the important question, “will you marry me?” Of course I said yes! I loved him, and now I knew he loved all of me. I initiated that night. But I knew it was going to be the first of our future.

Or so I thought, until next month I saw the two little pink lines on the test. I was pregnant. We were pregnant! I was so excited that I rushed out into the living room and said it loudly and proudly, “Honey! We’re pregnant!”

I was met with silence. Utter silence. His expression didn’t change, maybe his face went paler. No smile, no hug, no nothing. Just shock and silence. Then he left. He left me standing in our living room all excited about our child, all alone. He was gone.

It’s now the fifth day and nothing, I’ve decided to leave too. If this was how he was going to react then he shouldn’t have wanted to take out relationship to the next level. I know I initiated it. But I thought it would be forever. Not that his proposal was just a method to move things along.

So I was packing. Realizing that I didn’t have much more to pack from when I moved in initially. He had given me a few gifts here and there, but I had no desire to keep something from a man that didn’t actually want me. Maybe those were just meant to buy his way into my bed. There were a few items in the room that we had purchased together. A mirror big enough to see the both of us. Our bed spread; now I know why he was willing to buy the fluffy pink one I insisted on buying. All the picture frames around the apartment…but I didn’t want anything. They would stay in the apartment that they were bought for.

I packed up my suitcases and was ready to go. Glancing at the door I hesitated. Maybe he’ll be back tonight. Maybe I should give him one chance. Looking down at the phone on the side table I dialed his office number. Miss Jean his secretary picked it up. She was probably the only one who knew I was dating Justin. Mr. Marshall to her. “Hey Jean. Is Mr. Marshall in his office?” Silence. I couldn’t handle the silence again! “Jean. Please answer me!”

“He’s in the office. He’s told me to not to disturb him. Ms. Abigail is in there with him.”

‘Abigail.’ The woman that had been pursuing Justin the entire time he pursued me. She was also wealthy. But he had assured me that he didn’t like her. “Hold the phone up to the door.”

“Miss. I don’t think that would be proper.”

“Just do it. I need to know.”

Then on the other end I heard giggling. And noises. I knew the noise. It was when he kissed your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle in that way, because that’s what I did too. So he wasn’t just hiding from me or our child, he was ending his relationship with me and his child in the most harmful way possible. I had my answer. “Thanks Jean. I needed to hear it for myself. Please don’t tell Mr. Marshall I called. Goodbye Jean.”

‘Goodbye.’ That’s what this relationship has come to. A silenced goodbye. A one sided goodbye. A goodbye to an empty apartment. A goodbye to a cheating man. A goodbye to everything in this life, but a hello to a new loved one. Goodbye.

…5 Days After The Pregnant Scare…

Justin

She’s gone. She left me. Was I really nothing to her? Yes, I didn’t respond in the best way possible. I just left her there in the living room. She said she was pregnant and I panicked. I panicked that this was her plan all along. Get pregnant and then I have to marry her.

But no, she stopped us the first night. I knew she wanted something more concrete; a more stable standing in the relationship. And I had given it to her. I did all the cheesy gestures. I had even got down on one knee and proposed. Then she initiated everything. To her defense I was going to if she didn’t. But it shocked me that she got pregnant after only our first time. Hadn’t she been on the pill? No. Right. She had mentioned that the pill had made her sick in past so she wasn’t using anything. I didn’t think to use protection that night because I was a little distracted by the woman I loved in front of me.

‘I loved. Did I really just say that? I knew I liked her. A lot. I knew the only way to go to the next step was to propose, but I had planned on us having a long engagement so that I could figure out if this was truly what I wanted. Realizing that makes me sound like scum. I loved her. No. I love her. I still do. But she was gone.’

I had gotten home that night. I had decided I needed to stop hiding at the office and face our problem. Also, Abigail had shown up with her new boyfriend. And they were being too lovingly in front of me, that I had to get out of my office. I just left them there. I hadn’t realized why their shows of affection bothered me so much. Because I wanted to be doing that with Ally. I wanted her. So I had rushed back to the apartment to grovel and beg for forgiveness, but instead I was met with an empty apartment. Not that she had taken all my belongings, but I knew she was gone. The warmth was gone. Everything was left though. The diamond bracelet and Ruby necklace I had given her were still on her dresser. All the dresses I had bought her were still hanging in the closet. The bed spread she had insisted on was still on our bed…no; I guess now my bed. But everything that had came with her that first day was gone. She was gone.

…5 Years Later…

Justin

I was no longer a happy guy. Instead I’ve turned into a bitter person. Five years. Five! And nothing. No letter. No call. Nothing. After I realized that Ally was gone I searched for her. Everywhere! But nothing. Non of my PI’s could find her either. She had hidden herself well. It’s not like I could even find where her parents lived. Ally had mentioned before that they sold everything and began traveling the US. Never staying in one place too long. And all I knew about them was their names were Mr. and Mrs. Howard.

However I did find out, on my quest for answers that Ally had called my office that day. And Miss Jean swears to it that Ally forced her to let her listen to what was happening in the office. Not knowing that I had actually left my own office about twenty minutes before. And luckily for me I left while Miss Jean was away from her desk. I didn’t agree with it, but I could understand why she never contacted me again. Why would she contact someone she thought had cheated on her.

Did she not know me? Did she not know that Abigail is the last woman in the world I would ever like? Did she not know I loved only her? I’m guessing not, seeing as she left.

I wasn’t this guy. I was a happy go lucky kind of guy. Go with the flow. But ever since I found out that the girl I loved, thought I abandoned her when she desperately needed me, and left. She wasn’t after my money. She didn’t seem to care for any of it. Instead she wanted me to be the man she had always wanted. ‘And what did I do? I fled. I ran.’

So instead, these last five years, I’ve had to live with the constant questions. Did she have the kid? Did she not? Am I a father? Am I not? Is she married? Is she still pinning for me? Does the kid know about me? And if so what did she tell them?

Constant!! And they never stop. I’ve got to find something out or I’m going to go crazy.

Ring, Ring. Ring, Ring.

“Hello. Yes, this is him. Really. You found them? Where? Wyoming? Really Wyoming? Okay. Thank you.”

‘Ally. You can’t hide forever.’

…

Justin

Wyoming was completely different from New York. There was no hustle and bustle. It was very low key and very country. Not somewhere where I would have pictured Ally living. But I guess it worked, because I had never thought to look here. Pulling up outside of a small house I saw kid toys scattered in the yard. That’s promising. But it could be another kid’s toys. I knocked. Nothing. Again I knocked. This time I heard a scurrying of little feet. Then…

“Jason Henry Howard, get back here and take a bath. You are filthy.”

I knocked once again on the door. I needed to see who was yelling and whom they were yelling at. I needed to see Ally. I didn’t realize how much I missed her. I needed to…

The door flew open and there stood an older woman. Maybe late forties. She was holding a young boy who was not a fan of being held. Instead of fighting him, she let him down and told him to do get Gpa. A shirtless little boy ran through the living room and into a hallway. Yelling the whole way, “Gpa! Gpa! Gpa!”

“I’m sorry. Is there something I can help you with? My grandson is a handful. You are?”

I was just standing there on the porch. I knew, that kid was my son. I could see a lot of Ally in him, but I also could see hints of myself. He must be about four. I can’t believe I missed four years. The woman before me was still standing there waiting for an answer. “Sorry ma’am. I’m Justin. Ally’s ex fiancée. And that handful must be my son.”

She stood there stunned. Mouth gaping open. But then her face turned to pure horror. She just started backing away from the door. So I took the initiative to come inside and close the door behind me.

“Gammy. I broot Gpa fuur oo.” Jason had come running into the room and stopped suddenly when he saw me.

Now looking at him more closely I could see we had the same eyes. Same smile. But I could see Ally too. His skin tone, his hair, his laugh; all screamed Ally. How I missed her. “Hello sir, I’m Justin Marshall,” I extended my hand out to Gpa as my son had said.

He didn’t shake the hand, instead he bent down and whispered something to Jason. A loud, “Yipee!” rang out from him as he disappeared down the hallway again.

So they’ve sent the child away. This was not going to be a good talk. They we’re getting into their defensive mode.

They sat. So I sat. They were silent. So I was…yeah right, “where is Ally? Maybe she should be here for this conversation.”

They both looked at each other. Tears were forming in the woman’s eyes. She turned and looked out the window. “Ally,” Mr. Marshall began, “Ally passed away about two years ago today.”

‘…no…what…no…’I looked at the woman and her back was now to me, and her shoulders were shaking. “How? Why? How?”

“She had cancer. It was unaware to anyone. Even her. She was already at stage four before anything could be done. So she entrusted Jason to us before her passing.” Mr. Marshall started to choke up. He covered his mouth to help cover up the sobs coming from it.

‘I didn’t know. No one knew. So not only did I hurt her five years ago, but when she desperately needed someone to help her through her tough times I was no where to be found.’ “I’m so sorry, I…”

“You should be. Do you know how our baby felt? We know all about your infidelity. How you got scared. How you were a coward. How you cheated on our baby with another woman not even a full week after you found out she was pregnant. How can you even live with yourself. How can you…?”

“Sherry that’s enough,” Mr. Marshall now stood and placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. Her sobs started up again. “I’m sorry, Justin. For you to find out like this. But I must ask you to leave.”

“But what about Jason. Shouldn’t he know I’m his father?”

“No. I don’t think now is the best time. Jason was only two when Ally passed, but he still cries for her at night. I don’t want him to get attached to another adult, that will only leave him again. Not saying Ally left him purposefully, but she did leave. And to Jason that’s all he knows. That mama left. He doesn’t understand that she is up in heaven watching him.” As if in habit Mr. Marshall glanced up. “So please leave for today.”

This wasn’t going to be the end. It can’t be. “I’ll be back. I’ll come back everyday. I want to know my son. Ally misunderstood that day she called. I was not in the office. A woman and her boyfriend commandeered my office. Long story. I was on my way home to her that day. I know I screwed up. I know I was a coward. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for your daughter when she needed me most. I panicked that day, but I’ve been searching for these two since. Please don’t cut me out of my son’s life too. I’ll be here for him. Please just give me a chance.”

They just looked at me. I probably looked crazy. Maybe I was. I needed to be in my son’s life. He needed to know that his Dad wanted him. That I loved him. That his Dad loved his mom very much. That I wasn’t going anywhere.

“You’ll have a chance. It was Ally’s wish if you ever came looking for him. But that you are to understand. He lives with us. To him we are his only family. You have never been mentioned. Just take it slow. Let him warm up to you first. It will take time. However, I’m sure you don’t have unlimited time?”

“For my son. He has all my time.”

…1 Year Later…

It did take time. But slowly Jason warmed up to me. He eventually called me Dad. Not officially I think, but it was a start. It warmed me to know that’s how he saw me. I was living in Wyoming now. I had sold everything that week, one year ago. My house, my company, all my real-estate. Everything. And moved down here to be closer to my son.

I’m not one hundred percent accepted yet, but at least Mrs. Marshall doesn’t give me the eye anymore. She may be willing to forgive me now. Maybe. It’s fine. I’ll wait. I’m always going to be here. Here with my son. Ally’s son. Our son.

…The End…