Tag Archives: Life

He’s home again ❤️

Finally my hubby is home. He was gone for 3 days and it felt like a lifetime…but he is home safe and sound. He brought with him a new toy that will last him quite a while. Men and their vehicles…😊

It’s a strange thing but my mother and I named her white van, Bessie and I’ve always wanted to name a car. But my hubby’s cars have always been his, this one is “ours”; even though I won’t be allowed to drive it for a while. I’m fine with that, I like being the passenger… being driven around like a princess. Awesomeness!!

But we are deciding upon a name. The Beast would be good but he already as a vehicle named that, and the Beast is a sweet-sweet. I like the name ‘Big Bertha’ or ‘Burt’ just because it sounds funny and awesome at the same time. He made a face at those names. So he might name it one thing, but when I eventually drive…beware of Big Bertha or Burt!!

Home Again.

Heading back to SoCal. I’m going to miss the crisp brisk weather here. This trip felt more like home, we got various dishes we needed…like coffee mugs. Coffee is a must. But I got to designate places in the kitchen for different dishes and food, and they will stay there until we visit again.

I’m having mixed emotions again. I want to go home to mother and family. And I actually miss my job, probably because I am now okay at it. And it’s home…but here is home as well. The snow and sun air, the neighborhood of peace and quiet, the open room with many opportunities to waiting….I’m conflicted.

But for now we are heading home and we finished the trip right…Arby’s!! Deliciousness!!its our tradition…

Can’t wait to see mama ❤️

Good bye until we head homeward…sort of…


“Will she ever wake up?” a figure uncurled from a huge lounge chair in the corner.

“I don’t know, she might eventually but for the time being we must wait,” the doc said with no emotion or concern.

No one really cares if she does or not. Everyone is just reeling in their paycheck after paycheck. I know I’m only seventeen but I know that as long as she stays immobilized and unconscious they all continue to get money. That doctor is just one of those people, but her family has paid him handsomely over the years for her care, so he wouldn’t say no to an easy mark like this.

“You don’t have to stay in here Daniel, I will sit with her if you want to go outside for a while,” the doc said as he begun to drag a chair towards her bed.

“BACK OFF! You don’t care about her. Get out!” I’m young but not weak. I will defend her.

“Okay, okay, and you are wrong Daniel, I do care.” He gazed at her once again before leaving the room.

The room was quiet now, leaving the only sound to be echoed down the hall as the doc slipped away. “He doesn’t care, not like I do.” I creep towards her as she lay softly breathing in pattern to the light breeze. Everyone says I’m foolish to give her too much hope; that I should be outside enjoying the life I have. “How can I enjoy it, if she is not here?”

               The day continued into night, and continued into days. The household continued to bring food, change her sheets, dust the room, and snicker to themselves about when the she will depart.

No one truly cares for her; no one here wants her to survive, besides me. She is the reason my heart still beats; I wish I could make hers jumpstart.

               Months passed and still no change, the doc has given up hope. He just wants a higher pay grade before he continues to, “waste his time” his words, on someone who might never awake from their comma. “I’m sorry son, but I think we should just call it; she hasn’t made change these last eight months, it’s cruel to leave her in this state.”

“You touch her and you will die. I know you are only here for the money, you don’t care for her. You just want to fill your pockets before she goes. NO ONE CARES! Leave us!” I lost it, as his hand reached for the plug. I remember lunging and squirming with the doc; I know my fists made contact with his jaw more than once. I remember several voices, limbs, and bodies; then all went black.

…8 years later…

               My life changed after that day. I guess I made real damage on the doc’s face because he pressed charges. I don’t know how, but I was sent to jail for the night; I was seventeen and they thought I deserved it I guess, because I wouldn’t let her go. I was released eventually; I guess they worried that my revenge for blood would cause me to hunt down and murder the man that put me here. But what was the point, my reason for breathing was gone. Since she was denied the ability to breathe, why should I waste my breath on worthless scum?

After that day, I swore I would fight for people who couldn’t fight for themselves. Of course I was a teenager and faced various fears and horrors but I kept protecting the “littler guy”.  Which caused me to land in prison occasionally, but I couldn’t stand to see people treating loved ones so harshly. You should care and protect them, because they might be taken from you.

After the last time in the tank I decided enough was enough; I couldn’t be in prison for another moment. No matter the actions of people in the world, I can’t experience the brutal, harsh, environment as jail again; no one had my back, no one protected me from others, no one cared enough to sacrifice themselves for me like I had done.

I moved upstate away from everyone. I didn’t care if I never saw a familiar face again. A hermit’s life is the best way of life. I got a small putter job at a large estate as a gardener, good money and peaceful work. I became one of the plants; something alive but just puttering around waiting to be done.

             You know when you can feel someone watching you, but every time you turn there is no one; that is when you know you have been alone to long.

            “What are you doing?” a voice said.

The voice startled me, and I jutted backwards and stepped in hole as I tumbled backwards. “Crap!” Looking up I stare into the eyes of a child, a small girl. “What are you doing sneaking up on people?”

“Sorry, I’ve been watching you, and I was just curious what you planned to do with the rose bush?”

The small face glowed with laughter and excitement. I haven’t seen a child smile in many years. “You shouldn’t sneak on people,” or stock people I mumbled low enough she wouldn’t hear. “What do you care what I’m doing?”

“No reason, you just moved it there, then there, then there, then…” she continued on and on pointing at the various spots I did indeed move it.

“I don’t know, it just isn’t thriving as it should be.”

A small giggle escaped her mouth, “It won’t unless you give it a chance.”

“What…” but the small figure ran up the driveway and waved good bye. “Strange…oh crap my ankle…”

               It’s odd but I waited all morning for the small figure to return. I wanted to complain to her, about her being the cause for my ankle swelling. But she didn’t appear and there was no lingering feeling of being watched. Strange, her being the first person I have felt comfortable with since that day so long ago…

            “What ya up to now?” a girlish squeal came from behind the tree.

At least this time I was clipping the branches of a different tree, “I’m just puttering along. My supervisor said to just do a little of this and a little of that…nothing too exciting. What are you up to?”

She popped out from the tree, skirted around the trunks, to my side, “I’m just out and about. I’m supposed to soak up as much sun and fresh air as I can before returning home, or at least that is what I’m told. Can I help?”

About to tell her no, or I work alone; however instead, I looked into her excited but longing face; I understood the feeling, “Sure, take the cut-off branches and throw them in the waste, but first go get some gloves.”

“Okay!” she scurried off to find some, then began to help me. It was nice to have help, but mostly the company was very new.

Not one peep of complaint came from her all morning, but I could see the strain on her face. I called her over to take a break and sat on the tailgate of my truck swigging back a coke enjoying the sweet summer air. “So do I get to know your name or what?” I asked her as she finished her last sip, “and also your age?”

“Gabriella and 9 ½, yours?”

“Daniel, and umm….blmfpf”


“Oh alright, 25.” And of course she giggled…

             Again sitting in silence we just watched the leaves float through the air, and the birds soaring a hovering through the tall pines. “Should you be getting back home? Someone will be worried,” as I lifted her to the ground and closed the tailgate.

“Maybe, but I’ve never been missed. I just am…” a flicker of sadness trickled through her face, but disappeared as soon as it appeared.

“Do you want a lift? I’m driving that way anyways, I’m done for the day.”
“Sure. Your old body can’t take any more…” she roared with laughter.

“I’m not old, little missy, I am at my prime age; thank you very much.” Attempting to tickle her, but instead opening the passenger door.

She hopped up and yanked the door shut as well as she could. I sunk into my seat and we were off. Cruising down the road she stuck head out the window letting her flop of hair twist and fly about. To be young and carefree, I haven’t felt that way since I was her age. Her directions were not so much as directions as sudden go this way and that way, but we were driving for a while before she yelled, “Turn!”

Sharpest turn I have ever taken, “Little warning next time please.”

There on a small hill sat a small house. It looked familiar, like evoking a memory from a dream.
“Thank you mister, see you tomorrow,” she clambered out of the truck and started toward the house. I just watched her go, and then the front door opened…Her…



“Stephen! Can you see it?” William screamed across the field at his older brother who was off doing something…”STEPHEN!!!” The screams got louder, not urgent, but louder.

“I’m coming,” a voice came through the wind, tickling Williams ears. A figure hopped down out of a tree and started to scurry towards the small figure across the field. “What’s up William, I was enjoying my view?”

“Can you see it,” as a small hand points towards the tiptop branch of the giant oak tree, “Can you see it?” again William repeated himself.

Stephen looked upwards to see the wonder that his brother could see, but he only saw branches. “I can’t see what you see, what do you see?”

“I see a marvelous thing, its beautiful; but the word is escaping my mind. It’s like a home.” William said as his eyes glistened with imagination and wonder towards the branches above.

“Do you mean a tree house? We have one at home William, but yeah, it’s not quite as far up as this tree would be,”

“Maybe, but to me it should have a grander name…like a cozy home.”

Stephen gazed upwards again wishing he could see the sight his brother was seeing. So as to get as close as possible, Stephen crouched to be at William’s height; and there between the weaving branch puzzle he saw the glorious sight his small brother saw.

“Come with me William,” Stephen said, as he pulled his brother in tow.

“But I want to stay and look at the home.” William whimpered as the beautiful tree was drifting farther and farther away.

Stephen scooped up William’s body and shoved him onto the first branch he could reach.

William scooted a bit so his big brother could climb up the next branch and begin their journey up. William placed his foot where his brother did and grabbed the branches he grabbed. He always followed his brother no matter what. Especially since he put him in a tree.

They continued up ten feet, twenty feet, thirty feet, forty feet…”Stephen, I think mama wouldn’t want us to go up any higher…”

Stephen plopped his bottom on the branch, and agreed this is it. He reached out to grabbed William’s hand and pull him up to his level, “Wow, we are quite a ways up! I didn’t pay attention; I was just climbing and pushing myself, daring to go higher.

As William’s body was next to his own, they sat together on a comfortable branch. William gazed out to admire the field, the proud tall mountains, the peachy blue sky, the frazzled little trees, and listen to the sweet whispers surfing through the breeze.

And there across the field was the tree William stood beneath for the past few hours, but instead he could now see the tiptop branches. There placed within the various branches was a magnificent nest. It was huge! “Look Stephen! It’s the home I saw! I remember, it’s a nest. Who’s nest is it? Do you know? Did you see? Can I see?…”

His questions kept coming…never giving Stephen a chance, “If you stop talking maybe the owner will come back.”

To William they sat there forever, but in truth it was about ten minutes….but then they heard it soar…

Our tree swayed as the glorious animal swept pass the tree, the sturdy branched swayed. A large shadow panned across the mountains and covered the field. A call rang out, blaring but also soothing…

Wings vast like the horizon, and as brown as the darkest earth. A head white as a snow peak, but with an eye as yellow as the sun. Talons as sharp as a broken branch, but caring as it latches onto its home. The eagle was broad and strong as the mountains, but loving towards her children.

The boys sat their in silence not wanting their sight to disappear of fade, but William had to ask, “Is this what you were doing earlier,” He whispered as quiet as possible?

Stephen nodded, “We were observing the same sight but from different angles. Do you want to stay? Or do you want to go back home?”

The look in William’s eye said it all. They continued to watch the mother tend to her babies. The sky continued to fade to a soft dark blue, slowing changing from day to dusk. The magnificent sight was the perfect experience for two brothers to share. ❤



The thought of moving is exciting and thrilling. It gets my mind chasing and springing to life! What will my neighbors be like? How will the neighborhood fair, to right now? When will I start having kiddos!?!😊 Will my home be as colorful as I imagine? Will the sky be as beautiful or more so?

On the other hand, moving also means leaving my family behind. They can always come visit, they can always come and see me. But it won’t be often. I won’t see my mom, sister, and brother everyday at work. There won’t be birthday parties once a month (pretty much). Holidays will be hard….and I will miss them terribly.

They have always been there and I have missed the occasional crazy chime-in voice when I say something clever. My husband I do, do it often but it’s different when there are various voices. I’ll miss the moments when I want a mama hug, being able to drive to her house and steal one. I’ll miss seeing my nephews grow up into who they will be.

So much sadness comes up when I think about moving, but also excitement…

So I drew this picture because it’s beautiful to me. And I don’t know if I’m in the house that is colorful or if I’m spying on the house that is beautiful.