Category Archives: Reflections

Growing up…

Friends fade.

While families grow.

You mature;

While others stay.

New meanings.

Bright beginnings;

While years drift into the shade.

As life continues,

Will I change?

A bit;

But not as much as some.

I had some inspiration, from talking to some old friends. I really am at a different stage of life, and it’s hard to make conversation with them now. I’ve always had trouble making conversations; me being an introvert, but it is harder now with non-moms… 😓

I never thought I would be the one to grow apart from friends….I thought I would be the one left behind.

I guess this poem is for all the non-moms out there. If you are drifting apart from your friend who can’t seem to make conversation, unless it revolves around baby or husband… just know they are trying. It is difficult to remember small details from before kids or marriage.

Drawn on phone by: emily2jane
4-17-21

Supposedly the happiest word is laughter…

The deed is done.

So you wait for it to grow.

Waiting.

Feeling.

Loving.

The heartbeat is strong,

So you, of course, push on.

Softness.

Warmth.

And love.

They see you for the first time.

Happiness comes to mind.

I decided today I would write a poem. It’s been a while since I wrote poetry but my style hasn’t changed. I needed some inspiration so I looked up the word of the day….and came upon The Happiest Word: Laughter. I understand their reasoning. But my happiest word would have to be birth.

Birth. Bring into life. The mom’s in the world…you understand. Even if there are days where you think you will lose all your hair you just need to remember that when they opened their eyes and saw you for the first time…they knew.

Elizabeth has been too much of a sweet sweet to draw…but knowing her personality, I will have something soon.

4-13-21 8:57am

Enjoy your Tuesday. ❤️

Sad to miss church…

Sadly we are missing church today. Because Elizabeth had a cough and a runny nose last night.

I believe it was my fault. I was warm and didn’t think we needed the heater. But I should have thought of Elizabeth…😔

It randomly started snowing yesterday and it’s supposed to be cold for a few days.

So sadly we will be missing church to get over a slight cold. I don’t want to be that mom that brings a cold to church.

So enjoy your Sunday!! ❤️ Elizabeth is still sleeping. That tells me she doesn’t feel good. Because she normally is like clockwork and is up by 7am.

Credit: Photo taken by emily2jane’s Nephew
2021

My mom sent me this photo yesterday saying one of my nephews took it. It is so beautiful that I needed to share. I will definitely be painting this in the future. 👏

Strange Discussion…

On the IHOP kids menu there was a question “What would your band name be?” I said “Pizzaaaaaa” said exactly like that. I thought that was a good name.

My husband and I were walking out of IHOP and saw a restaurant called Staggering Ox. Then our previous discussion came back…

“What about…Drunk Cow,” my suggestion.

“What about Staggering Sow,” his suggestion

“Beer Beef,” me.

….

My band name is now Drunk Cow. I like that….

Another strange discussion from my husband and me. 🤓

Looking Back

Looking back through old photos on Facebook, I came across one from 11 years ago. It’s amazing how much time has gone by and How much I’ve changed since then. Funny as it may be I recognized my ex boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend that a child should never have when they’re 15-16. (Just my opinion) But I had one and looking back at it it was terrible idea and a great learning experience as well.

It’s amazing how looking back at my younger years I remember all the hardships I went through as a teenager, but also as all the great times I had.

In regards to the ex-boyfriend… This doesn’t need to be said but it’s what I’m thinking about. And I have a daughter now so my mind thinks of the future for her. My advice to her in the future would be…

If you like someone and they don’t know you exist it’s OK. Just live out your teenager years having a crush on that person and don’t need someone else. One of my friends convinced me that my crush would never know and that I should date this other guy because we would look good together. I was young and naïve and didn’t really know what I was doing. Also when you are young and wanting to experience love you just make stupid mistakes.

Another thing you don’t think about when we were young, don’t date someone who you are on a competitive team with. Because I didn’t know it was possible…but I wanted to break up with him probably two months before I actually did. I told my coach that things weren’t working out and I was going to end it with him. (coach always knew everything anyways so we always just told her everything). But in response coach told me, “hold off until after the season is over so he doesn’t compete terrible.” Never realized that winning trumped my happiness. I guess It did.

I guess my advice to my daughter would be keep that crush and just stick with that. If you never become something it’s fine. Crushing on someone is more fun than dating at that age anyways. Unless you find that person you’ve been best friends with since forever and you guys stick together and then end up getting married, but that’s one in a million… Just wait until you’re older to date. You were right mother! The other is don’t date someone you compete with because your coach might choose winning over you.

I guess the last thing would be don’t hold onto the crush for forever. When you both are leaving and going off and starting your life just confidently go up to that person and say, “ I liked you. You were a great crush to have through my teenage years. But that’s all it was was a crush. Thank you for being that for me. Have a great life.” And then just walk away.

Because if you don’t, it kind of is just there forever. If you don’t give your crush closure it just lingers. Not saying I’m crushing or anything, It’s just a weird feeling. I guess one sided crushes never really go away until you speak them out. To summarize: keep the crush and just do that, until one day you guys are both leaving going separate ways, just tell him and move on.

Cover photo: by emily2jane

It seemed weird this year…

It’s been almost 3 years…but this year making my birthday cake felt weird. It shouldn’t but it did. I got to zoom my family which was nice but making the cake, putting the candles in, and lighting them this year felt strange.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Mama now and my birthday isn’t as important as before when I didn’t have a baby…

It just felt strange this year.

Also my sisters cakes are to die for!! 😍