So when I was younger. I went over to a friends house, and I was so troubled by the option for lunch… “Sandwich of Matoes and Leaves!!” (Tomatoes and lettuce) haha
Remember I was young. But now throughout my life this quote as continued. My siblings, my mom, close friends will also use it.
Now the present:
I was telling my daughter, that her brother loves cucumbers. That he likes to munch and suck the juices out.
So… now when I order salads from restaurants, my daughter takes the croutons. And now my son will take the cucumbers….so I will once again be left with matoes and leaves. Haha 😂
I’m not really excited about any one thing. I’m hoping for many things, but I’m not really anticipating anything.
I’m hoping that I can actually be an artist. A known artist. I will always be an artist; I just don’t know if I will ever take it anywhere.
I’m hoping we can have more babies. But that is in God’s hands. He decides. So I’m trying to be content with my kiddos and not just wait for the next one. If there will be another one.
I’m hoping my husband can go back to school and actually accomplish what he wants. Find a dream come true job. (Personal opinion: if you are going to try for a degree, do it while you are young. Not when you are full-time providing for your family.)
I’m hoping my mama will have an easy change to her life. That it won’t be so stressful and that God will provide a laid out path for her follow.
I’m hoping I can have more patience with my daughter. She desires so much and I’m trying to juggle life as it is. I get frustrated easily it seems. So I hope God can help me calm down before reacting with her.
I’m hoping that any future plans are smooth for us. We are talking about some big changes and I hope that this actually the direction God wants us to go.
So yeah, I can’t really say I’m excited for any one thing. Because everything is still in the works. Nothing is for sure. I can only try to prepare. So maybe I will say I’m excited for will come for our future. As a mama and wife, it’s not just my future. Everything about me is connected to my family. ❤️
Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
My favorite book was called Emily Elephant. She cooks, she cleans, she picks flowers. My mom actually saved me the book, and I have read it to my own daughter.
I can’t remember being read the book. But I do remember wanting to clean, bake, pick flowers, have a party. I still do all these things, but I don’t know if I would say I want to clean.
Now, my daughter wants to do all these things with me. She loves to sweep, mop, and vacuum. She helps me with the dishes. She loves baking and cooking. (Her croutons are amazing!!) She is an excellent flower picker. I get to enjoy the wild flowers both inside and out. And she is only four.
If you have a daughter or niece or granddaughter; try the book Emily Elephant. It teaches you the great skills in life that you will always use.
Of course, when I read the prompt my mind went blank. Before opening up the app my mind was spinning….
‘What will today’s prompt be? Memories, school from the past, poem?’ But no when it came down to the prompt. “First thing that comes to mind.” Nothing. Even as I sat on the couch and straining to come up with something….my husband thought I was having an issue. Haha 😂
As I am writing, I am trying to come up with something. But I’m sitting in the living room, on the couch, feeding my son. My daughter is sitting at her small art table in a corner drawing thank you pictures. (Her friend just gave her some socks.) My husband is eating his breakfast at the table telling me about the various things that are happening in his friends lives.
And I am trying to think of something, while listening to all the voices.
I guess that would be my thing. Voices. I seem to be someone who can either sit in complete utter silence otherwise, I have to be enveloped by noise. Coming from a larger family it was never quiet. But now that we live states away my household can be quiet occasionally. On those days, where the hubby is out tinkering in the shop, my daughter is using her imagination to play with her figurines in her doll house, and my son is happily playing with a measuring cup and bowl; I have to turn on some music to fill the void.
But voices…I can often hear my mom’s voice when I’m pondering my options. God’s voice when I’m conflicted or worried. Husband’s voice when I’m doing something that he would give me the look of, “Really?” My own thoughts too; often when I’m trying to do several things at once. My siblings voices when certain topics come up in conversation; I can hear them chiming in as if they were actually there.
Voices. They all are a great comfort to me. Because I know no matter what, I am loved.
A picture just came to mind. Let me try and draw it. My son is currently asleep on my arm as I’m writing this post. Don’t know how my digital drawing will be.
Digital Art: “Stillness Within” By: emily2jane 04-22-23
Even if it’s everything is happening at once…there can still be stillness.
Synonyms: flounder, struggle, squirm, wriggle, splash, stumble, blunder, etc.
.-.-.-.
Morning.
My eyes only flutter open,
When I hear the door creak.
She’s awake.
.-.-.
Brother lies still beside me,
Finally resting peacefully.
The night was a struggle.
.-.-.
Breakfast.
My essences left my body.
I stand hollow and empty.
Yelling and chattering,
Never end with these two.
.-.
Food is out.
Why such a battle.
I squirmed and wriggled,
To get one meal done.
Please nap time come.
.-.-.
Afternoon.
Chaos is constant.
Never a moment of peace.
Questions spewing, toys flying, emotions rising.
Will it ever be done?
.-.-.
Bedtime.
Screams of protest.
Anger developing.
Stumbles, fumbles, thrash, splash.
Silence follows all those blunders.
.-.-.
Silence.
Regrets and upsets,
Fill my brain.
Retrace your steps,
To learn again.
Sleep.
.-.-.
Morning.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Being a mama is tough. One child is different than two. Especially when your first child is intelligent and stubborn. She is determined to do it her way. He way or the highway. Except that doesn’t work when it’s supposed to be my way.
Little man is so mellow compared to her. He is smart too, noticeably for his age. My life will be interesting; calm way to put it.
But I struggle. I don’t know what I’m doing. I try my best and always some part of the day seems to be….Blarghbaaaaaaaaaa!!! If you couldn’t tell, that was me having a meltdown.
And I know it will continue to be difficult if we continue to add to our family. But hopefully I can find that flow…a current of productive moments.
I do have those moments. And I need to try and focus on the happy sweet moments of the day at bedtime. It’s difficult. But I know they probably outnumber the bad moments.
To all young moms out there. You are doing a great job. And all grandma’s now, you did amazing job raising your kids. Because they decided to continue the line of family. Your kids feel comfortable and confident enough to raise kids on their own.
Thank you to my mom!❤️
“After A Storm” Digital Art By: emily2jane 04-13-23
I will starting to paint soon. And some of the art from my blog will finally be on canvases!! I’m excited to get my art out into the world. 🎊
The word of the day today might be a negative word. But it helps show you the good in life. Like the picture above. Always after something bad, the good will come into focus, and shine in your life. Have a wonderful day ❤️
It’s a real thing. Other husbands out there, don’t worry it is a temporary thing….through pregnancy and maybe the next 2 years. Haha 😆 Pregnant women get forgetful, slower, and zone out. Some might not, (some women might be lucky.)
But I definitely experience the baby brain.
It makes doing anything twice as hard. Also the hubby has days where he can’t talk to me. Haha 😂
But I’ve gotten better. I now can tell him when I’m having a bad baby brain day. He usually knows before I say anything and responds with, “Oh, I know.”
My mom throughout my growing up told me that with each child we stole some of her smartness. My mom is super smart!!! I’m not saying otherwise, but now I understand what she means. I’m on baby number 2, and I’m wondering how much my new baby will take. My daughter is scary smart. (I know that’s what most parents say) but to me for a three year old she is too smart. Haha 😂
So if she is so smart she probably took a 1/4 of my smartness; meaning I’ll probably be giving away another 1/4. Because he is similar to how she was during my pregnancy.
We shall have to wait and see.
But that’s why I haven’t been posting. Because these last months have been major baby brain months. Only one more to go!!
I hope you have a wonderful day, today!
The cover photo: a snap shot I took out our dining room window. To me it looks like the typical screen saver screen. The lushest green, with the blue sky. This was the first day of actually warm weather. “Spring” but it’s been raining for almost three days. Over 500 gallons of water later, it’s sunny. (We captured all the rain we could to use it for watering the garden. We ran out of ways to capture water, all that free water gone. 😞)
This year, so far, has been full. As you may have noticed, I’ve only been posting chapters of my story. That’s only possible because I can write multiple chapters at once and post them accordingly.
But there are many changes this year. My daughter is three years old, and I cannot believe how time has passed. Her shoulder now fits under the lip of our dinning room table. She is expressing herself with words. She helps and takes care of me as I would to her. Now with her little brother on the way, I can’t help but remember when she was just a small little thing in my arms.
Next… my niece is starting to walk. She will be one year old next month. I just watched a video of a confident little girl strutting down the carpet. Last time I met her was a tiny peanut. No personality, just a little ball of love.
And next… my nephew is turning 15 this year. 15!!! My nephew who is now taller than me by about an inch. My nephew who I remember how he used to chase my dog, Sammy, around the backyard in his onesie. RIP Sammy ❤️ He is turning 15! That’s crazy to me.
The final one for now, but definitely not the last: I haven’t competed in swimming in almost 10 years. I still have dreams about racing, and I remember all the struggles and successes I had in my swimming career. But I haven’t done that in almost 10 years… that’s just amazes me. Especially since I did it for 14 years.
Which is why I am loving writing this story of a boy’s life of swimming. Not everything is from my past, but I’m able to get my desires out of my heart and into a narrative. It’s my way of continuing to live the swimming life without giving up what I have gained in these 10 years.
My husband. My daughter. My expected son. My home. My family.
As much as I love the idea of competing again. It can not measure up to the amount of love I have towards my splendor in life.
Year 2022, has been full; to the fullest. But I’m excited for the years to come. My days competing might be over, but I’m excited for this new adventure!
emily2jane 