Tag Archives: Truth

Reflections

I Discovered Why…

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I discovered why I’ve been so irritable and frustrated lately. I’m unhappy. My giving cup is empty.

Every person is some percentage of giving. I am 80% giving and 20% receiving. Example: 80% of the time I would rather give a gift than receive. But 20% of the time I NEED to receive.

So meaning being myself, my normal self; has not made me very happy as of late. I’ve just been stumbling around not knowing what’s wrong. Instead, I’ve been irritable. Short tempered. And unhappy. I guess I’ve been trying to figure out how to be happy, when being myself doesn’t make me happy anymore. Hence, my giving cup is empty.

So I’m just going to focus on myself. Normally I would focus on making those around me happy. Giving them what they needed. Focus on them; Focus on them! But none of my requests were being met. I was just either waiting or attempting to live without. Not even being big request, remember only 20%.

But now I’m to the point, I am going to make me happy. And I just won’t ask anymore. Not until my giving cup is full again or I feel happy. I don’t know how long that will take, but I want to feel like myself again. I want to be happy giving to others. And not feel drained and depressed at everyday life.

It’s going to be noticeable. Hopefully this will help me. Hopefully.

But on a happier note… Happy Birthday Mama!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

We love and miss you 🥰

Art, Creativity, Daily Prompts

The First Thing…

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Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

Of course, when I read the prompt my mind went blank. Before opening up the app my mind was spinning….

‘What will today’s prompt be? Memories, school from the past, poem?’ But no when it came down to the prompt. “First thing that comes to mind.” Nothing. Even as I sat on the couch and straining to come up with something….my husband thought I was having an issue. Haha 😂

As I am writing, I am trying to come up with something. But I’m sitting in the living room, on the couch, feeding my son. My daughter is sitting at her small art table in a corner drawing thank you pictures. (Her friend just gave her some socks.) My husband is eating his breakfast at the table telling me about the various things that are happening in his friends lives.

And I am trying to think of something, while listening to all the voices.

I guess that would be my thing. Voices. I seem to be someone who can either sit in complete utter silence otherwise, I have to be enveloped by noise. Coming from a larger family it was never quiet. But now that we live states away my household can be quiet occasionally. On those days, where the hubby is out tinkering in the shop, my daughter is using her imagination to play with her figurines in her doll house, and my son is happily playing with a measuring cup and bowl; I have to turn on some music to fill the void.

But voices…I can often hear my mom’s voice when I’m pondering my options. God’s voice when I’m conflicted or worried. Husband’s voice when I’m doing something that he would give me the look of, “Really?” My own thoughts too; often when I’m trying to do several things at once. My siblings voices when certain topics come up in conversation; I can hear them chiming in as if they were actually there.

Voices. They all are a great comfort to me. Because I know no matter what, I am loved.

A picture just came to mind. Let me try and draw it. My son is currently asleep on my arm as I’m writing this post. Don’t know how my digital drawing will be.

Digital Art: “Stillness Within”
By: emily2jane
04-22-23

Even if it’s everything is happening at once…there can still be stillness.

Have a wonderful day.

Art, Creativity, Life As A Mama, Poetry, Reflections

Word Of The Day: Flounder 04-13-23

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Synonyms: flounder, struggle, squirm, wriggle, splash, stumble, blunder, etc.

.-.-.-.

Morning.

My eyes only flutter open,

When I hear the door creak.

She’s awake.

.-.-.

Brother lies still beside me,

Finally resting peacefully.

The night was a struggle.

.-.-.

Breakfast.

My essences left my body.

I stand hollow and empty.

Yelling and chattering,

Never end with these two.

.-.

Food is out.

Why such a battle.

I squirmed and wriggled,

To get one meal done.

Please nap time come.

.-.-.

Afternoon.

Chaos is constant.

Never a moment of peace.

Questions spewing, toys flying, emotions rising.

Will it ever be done?

.-.-.

Bedtime.

Screams of protest.

Anger developing.

Stumbles, fumbles, thrash, splash.

Silence follows all those blunders.

.-.-.

Silence.

Regrets and upsets,

Fill my brain.

Retrace your steps,

To learn again.

Sleep.

.-.-.

Morning.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Being a mama is tough. One child is different than two. Especially when your first child is intelligent and stubborn. She is determined to do it her way. He way or the highway. Except that doesn’t work when it’s supposed to be my way.

Little man is so mellow compared to her. He is smart too, noticeably for his age. My life will be interesting; calm way to put it.

But I struggle. I don’t know what I’m doing. I try my best and always some part of the day seems to be….Blarghbaaaaaaaaaa!!! If you couldn’t tell, that was me having a meltdown.

And I know it will continue to be difficult if we continue to add to our family. But hopefully I can find that flow…a current of productive moments.

I do have those moments. And I need to try and focus on the happy sweet moments of the day at bedtime. It’s difficult. But I know they probably outnumber the bad moments.

To all young moms out there. You are doing a great job. And all grandma’s now, you did amazing job raising your kids. Because they decided to continue the line of family. Your kids feel comfortable and confident enough to raise kids on their own.

Thank you to my mom!❤️

“After A Storm” Digital Art
By: emily2jane
04-13-23

I will starting to paint soon. And some of the art from my blog will finally be on canvases!! I’m excited to get my art out into the world. 🎊

The word of the day today might be a negative word. But it helps show you the good in life. Like the picture above. Always after something bad, the good will come into focus, and shine in your life. Have a wonderful day ❤️

Art, Creativity, Poetry, Reflections

My Lucky Twenty-Nine

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.-.-.

My heart breaks every time.

Why the lies?

Why?

It’s not just you,

Can you understand I’m here too?

When I meet you will you be

As you said?

Or will another be a wasted day?

We shall see,

Hopefully…

Do all guys lie?

.-.-.-.

Number one was older,

A goner was number four,

I walked right back out the door.

.-.-.

Seven was a liar,

Twelve was fatter,

Lying does not flatter.

.-.-.

Fifteen was younger,

A flirt was twenty-two,

Honesty is what I pursue.

.-.-.

Twenty-four was sadly a bore,

Twenty-eight was very late.

Is loneliness my fate?

.-.-.

This is my last one,

Walking to my final meet.

Preparing for failure,

Praying to my Savior.

I can’t take much more,

Will twenty-nine slam my door?

.-.-.

The man before me…

I see nothing to deceive.

Why can’t I speak?

Nervousness escaping squeaks.

He talks, I listen,

Stunned to respond.

.-.-.

He is the one.

God washes over me,

Relief.

Our meet was not brief,

My heart still in disbelief.

Outside my home,

Ending unknown.

Side hug goodbye,

Glancing back at the guy,

My lucky twenty-nine.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

It’s said to write what you know. So this poem is based on me meeting my husband. And I’m not exaggerating when I say I went on many first dates. Some I went on up to three-five dates, but they all ended up lying about something in the end. Online dating is already hard enough. Why lie on your profile. Yes personality is a big part of someone, but for me if you lie with a picture what else will you or are you lying about.

I guess, don’t compromise. And don’t be embarrassed if none of your dates are working out. Now you know there is someone who experienced twenty-eight bad ones before my right one found me.

God made me experience all the awful meets, so that I would know the right one when I met him. Also, so I would see all his great qualities, and see past the honesty of the handsomeness of his profile picture.

Digital Art “Love”
10-27-22
By: emily2jane

Creativity, Life As A Mama, Reflections

Baby Brain

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It’s a real thing. Other husbands out there, don’t worry it is a temporary thing….through pregnancy and maybe the next 2 years. Haha 😆 Pregnant women get forgetful, slower, and zone out. Some might not, (some women might be lucky.)

But I definitely experience the baby brain.

It makes doing anything twice as hard. Also the hubby has days where he can’t talk to me. Haha 😂

But I’ve gotten better. I now can tell him when I’m having a bad baby brain day. He usually knows before I say anything and responds with, “Oh, I know.”

My mom throughout my growing up told me that with each child we stole some of her smartness. My mom is super smart!!! I’m not saying otherwise, but now I understand what she means. I’m on baby number 2, and I’m wondering how much my new baby will take. My daughter is scary smart. (I know that’s what most parents say) but to me for a three year old she is too smart. Haha 😂

So if she is so smart she probably took a 1/4 of my smartness; meaning I’ll probably be giving away another 1/4. Because he is similar to how she was during my pregnancy.

We shall have to wait and see.

But that’s why I haven’t been posting. Because these last months have been major baby brain months. Only one more to go!!

I hope you have a wonderful day, today!

The cover photo: a snap shot I took out our dining room window. To me it looks like the typical screen saver screen. The lushest green, with the blue sky. This was the first day of actually warm weather. “Spring” but it’s been raining for almost three days. Over 500 gallons of water later, it’s sunny. (We captured all the rain we could to use it for watering the garden. We ran out of ways to capture water, all that free water gone. 😞)

Creativity, Life As A Mama, Poetry

Happy 😊

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Today must be a happy day.

I woke up and found my little sweetness still asleep. I selfishly woke her up for some snuggles. She whispered a, “Mama” as she climbed in beside me.

Must be a happy day.

We decided to not to get up, but instead we decided to nibble on each other’s sweetness. Haha! She said I tasted sweet.

Must be a happy day.

We got up with giggles and hugs; as I carried her to the kitchen to fill our bellies up with good food.

Must be a happy day.

My breakfast smiled back up at me. My little sweetness is eating her food. I’m enjoying some delicious leftover cut up strawberries.

Must be a happy day.

The sun is shining. It’s supposed to be a nice 70° day. With all the rain we have been getting it looks like Ireland here. I feel blessed.

Today is definitely a happy day. ❤️

…

Have a wonder day;full of sweetness, giggles, and hugs.

The honey made a smiley face. I caught it before smearing it. Haha 😂
Creativity, Daily Prompts, Reflections

Random Word: Tremendous

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Synonyms: huge, enormous, massive, immense, colossal, prodigious, etc.

…

First thing that came to mind… sharks.

Which I know is not the best association with tremendous. But I have an irrational fear of sharks. Not that a fear of sharks is not normal, but I fear sharks in places that sharks cannot actually be.

The swimming pool. Early or late practices, where you would see shadows. I would panic sometimes, irrationally, that a shark was stalking me.

In lakes. I once swam a 5K in a fresh water lake (dam) and I was panicking that a shark would appear.

When I was younger. This is more my siblings fault… but I would always have dreams of sharks attacking me, chasing me, or attacking my siblings and I always would save them and die.

My siblings found it hilarious to prank me. Humming the Jaws sound. Setting the family computer screen saver as sharks. Showing me videos of surprise shark attacks. Lovely things like that.

So much so that I cannot watch shark scenes in movies. That if the characters at all end up in a boat or in the ocean I begin to panic that a shark is going to appear. Which I was watching a movie yesterday, Unbroken, intense movie! But there are scenes of the characters surviving on a life boat in the middle of the ocean. I had to skip many parts of the movie… thankfully the music was great at foreshadowing. (I am not spoiling anything. It is in the description of the film.)

I will never watch Jaws! My brothers have tried to convince me for years. “That I’m missing out on a right of passage”, but nope. Not going to happen.

Tremendous….sharks…literally no, but in my brain yes.

Adventures, Creativity, Journey With Cookbooks

Journey With Cookbooks #27

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I have been craving corn dogs. Must be a pregnancy thing. Because it’s usually my husband who is. But I decided to try making them myself.

I am now someone who will attempt to make it myself first. It’s cheaper!

A recipe from Pinterest.

Watching food videos with my daughter before bedtime has some perks. Even though it is evil to have to see delicious food before sleeping.

But first I had to gather all the ingredients…

Also the hubby wanted fries to go along with the dinner. Since I was already going to fry the corn dogs it wasn’t too much extra work.

I boil the fries 7min before starting the frying process. It gives them that soft inside and crunchy shell. 😍
The normal pot was for boiling. Big Red is my new best frying friend!! 😎

Pat the hotdogs dry and skewer them! Death to the hotdogs!! Mwahahahahahaha!!

I just noticed my socks…they match….! The weather is going to change. 😳

I double fry the fries. First round is for 6min. I did all the groups of fries. Since I use the bare minimum oil I have to do several rounds.

Let’s start the corn dogs!!

Dip dip dip.
Oh so cute and chubby!!! Hopefully they taste good. The baking powder is what makes them fluff up.

I had to add about 1 cup of oil…it seemed so wasteful…I think the most I used nowadays is 1/3 of a cup.

The recipe said I could do up to 3 at a time, but since it’s my first time; I decided to do 1.

Yummy! The husband did the taste test… he said it was miserable as he gobbled it down. 😏

Even I got input from the opinionated daughter…

She approved!!

Next was another round of fries. Then my own opinion…

I like the mixture of ketchup and mustard…I’m all alone in my small family…

Looks like Photo: maybe 8. The pictures make theirs look picture perfect. Mine were imperfect, but the taste was…

Taste: 10! At first… Then after one corn dog, my husband and I discovered they are extremely greasy. We don’t really eat super greasy foods anymore. They are too heavy. My fries are probably our limit. I’ll be trying an air frying recipe next time.

Easiness: 10! It was a super easy recipe. I’m bummed that I won’t be making it again, but if your stomach is not as sensitive; this is a perfect recipe. Hopefully the air fryer recipe is just as easy.

I’m currently munching on carrots to help settle my stomach. 😞

Overall: It was delicious as we ate it! Just the aftermath is hitting us. Elizabeth liked it though. Even though she probably would have filled herself up on carrots and ranch if we let her. Haha 😂

Enjoy your day!

Adventures, Creativity

Weird…

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So I posted a chapter a while ago. And now as I’m looking it was deleted. Like the site deleted it. I have it saved elsewhere, but still weird. And it’s no longer in my drafts or in the trash. It just disappeared.

So I’ll post another chapter soon. But it takes time to get it off of my computer. Only a few minutes, but in mama land it seems more like 20!

Have a nice Tuesday!! 😊