The simplistic part of writing. That I can have a thought and just jot it down. That it could be for me personally. It could be for my blog. For my journals. An art idea. A poem. A story from a dream.
But that it doesn’t have to be some eloquent masterpiece. For some reason I have random dreams. And occasionally I will have a vibrant dream that I must wake up and jot it down for possible future stories.
Like my story I’m writing on my blog: Life of Two Best Friends, started off as a dream. and it’s just morphed into a story that I enjoy to write.
And I have maybe 5 other stories that I have saved in my computer, all different types. Christian Romance, Fantasy, Sci-fi, etc. I just wake up inspired and I get it down.
My brain likes to store things. And if I get them down on paper that’s one less thing so my brain to store.
But writing is a great way to express one of my creative sides. I’m not good at expressing myself through speaking, but through writing people can hear my points of view easily.
What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?
People might roll their eyes or laugh at my answer, but it’s my children. They are my precious cargo. I even call them that on public.
“Mister! Got the precious cargo!?!”
If my husband is with me, I tend to prefer to be the pack mule and have the mister keep tabs on the babies. Usually when Daddy is around my daughter behaves a little more crazy. As if her body language is shouting, “ Daddy’s Home, Daddy’s Home!!”
But when it’s just me, I again looked like a pack mule. I carry only what I need (phone & wallet) and then load up with my babies. Son in left arm, daughter in right hand.
Some people might say their item is there phone. Which is true. I use my phone for almost everything as well. And the panic you get when you think you left your phone at home, does not leave a good feeling behind. Like you know something is missing and your gut drops because you think it was your phone.
Well for me and my kiddos, I can get a similar feeling if I can’t see them. But mine is more severe; I get a gut reaching fear that I messed up, and they are gone forever…scary thought.
I do occasionally go places without my daughter, and I’m constantly feeling like something is missing. So, for me my kiddos are my precious cargo that I cannot leave the house without.
5min Digital Art “Precious Cargo” By: emily2jane 08-12-23
So when I was younger. I went over to a friends house, and I was so troubled by the option for lunch… “Sandwich of Matoes and Leaves!!” (Tomatoes and lettuce) haha
Remember I was young. But now throughout my life this quote as continued. My siblings, my mom, close friends will also use it.
Now the present:
I was telling my daughter, that her brother loves cucumbers. That he likes to munch and suck the juices out.
So… now when I order salads from restaurants, my daughter takes the croutons. And now my son will take the cucumbers….so I will once again be left with matoes and leaves. Haha 😂
I’m not really excited about any one thing. I’m hoping for many things, but I’m not really anticipating anything.
I’m hoping that I can actually be an artist. A known artist. I will always be an artist; I just don’t know if I will ever take it anywhere.
I’m hoping we can have more babies. But that is in God’s hands. He decides. So I’m trying to be content with my kiddos and not just wait for the next one. If there will be another one.
I’m hoping my husband can go back to school and actually accomplish what he wants. Find a dream come true job. (Personal opinion: if you are going to try for a degree, do it while you are young. Not when you are full-time providing for your family.)
I’m hoping my mama will have an easy change to her life. That it won’t be so stressful and that God will provide a laid out path for her follow.
I’m hoping I can have more patience with my daughter. She desires so much and I’m trying to juggle life as it is. I get frustrated easily it seems. So I hope God can help me calm down before reacting with her.
I’m hoping that any future plans are smooth for us. We are talking about some big changes and I hope that this actually the direction God wants us to go.
So yeah, I can’t really say I’m excited for any one thing. Because everything is still in the works. Nothing is for sure. I can only try to prepare. So maybe I will say I’m excited for will come for our future. As a mama and wife, it’s not just my future. Everything about me is connected to my family. ❤️
Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
My favorite book was called Emily Elephant. She cooks, she cleans, she picks flowers. My mom actually saved me the book, and I have read it to my own daughter.
I can’t remember being read the book. But I do remember wanting to clean, bake, pick flowers, have a party. I still do all these things, but I don’t know if I would say I want to clean.
Now, my daughter wants to do all these things with me. She loves to sweep, mop, and vacuum. She helps me with the dishes. She loves baking and cooking. (Her croutons are amazing!!) She is an excellent flower picker. I get to enjoy the wild flowers both inside and out. And she is only four.
If you have a daughter or niece or granddaughter; try the book Emily Elephant. It teaches you the great skills in life that you will always use.
I discovered why I’ve been so irritable and frustrated lately. I’m unhappy. My giving cup is empty.
Every person is some percentage of giving. I am 80% giving and 20% receiving. Example: 80% of the time I would rather give a gift than receive. But 20% of the time I NEED to receive.
So meaning being myself, my normal self; has not made me very happy as of late. I’ve just been stumbling around not knowing what’s wrong. Instead, I’ve been irritable. Short tempered. And unhappy. I guess I’ve been trying to figure out how to be happy, when being myself doesn’t make me happy anymore. Hence, my giving cup is empty.
So I’m just going to focus on myself. Normally I would focus on making those around me happy. Giving them what they needed. Focus on them; Focus on them! But none of my requests were being met. I was just either waiting or attempting to live without. Not even being big request, remember only 20%.
But now I’m to the point, I am going to make me happy. And I just won’t ask anymore. Not until my giving cup is full again or I feel happy. I don’t know how long that will take, but I want to feel like myself again. I want to be happy giving to others. And not feel drained and depressed at everyday life.
It’s going to be noticeable. Hopefully this will help me. Hopefully.
But on a happier note… Happy Birthday Mama!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Of course, when I read the prompt my mind went blank. Before opening up the app my mind was spinning….
‘What will today’s prompt be? Memories, school from the past, poem?’ But no when it came down to the prompt. “First thing that comes to mind.” Nothing. Even as I sat on the couch and straining to come up with something….my husband thought I was having an issue. Haha 😂
As I am writing, I am trying to come up with something. But I’m sitting in the living room, on the couch, feeding my son. My daughter is sitting at her small art table in a corner drawing thank you pictures. (Her friend just gave her some socks.) My husband is eating his breakfast at the table telling me about the various things that are happening in his friends lives.
And I am trying to think of something, while listening to all the voices.
I guess that would be my thing. Voices. I seem to be someone who can either sit in complete utter silence otherwise, I have to be enveloped by noise. Coming from a larger family it was never quiet. But now that we live states away my household can be quiet occasionally. On those days, where the hubby is out tinkering in the shop, my daughter is using her imagination to play with her figurines in her doll house, and my son is happily playing with a measuring cup and bowl; I have to turn on some music to fill the void.
But voices…I can often hear my mom’s voice when I’m pondering my options. God’s voice when I’m conflicted or worried. Husband’s voice when I’m doing something that he would give me the look of, “Really?” My own thoughts too; often when I’m trying to do several things at once. My siblings voices when certain topics come up in conversation; I can hear them chiming in as if they were actually there.
Voices. They all are a great comfort to me. Because I know no matter what, I am loved.
A picture just came to mind. Let me try and draw it. My son is currently asleep on my arm as I’m writing this post. Don’t know how my digital drawing will be.
Digital Art: “Stillness Within” By: emily2jane 04-22-23
Even if it’s everything is happening at once…there can still be stillness.
Synonyms: flounder, struggle, squirm, wriggle, splash, stumble, blunder, etc.
.-.-.-.
Morning.
My eyes only flutter open,
When I hear the door creak.
She’s awake.
.-.-.
Brother lies still beside me,
Finally resting peacefully.
The night was a struggle.
.-.-.
Breakfast.
My essences left my body.
I stand hollow and empty.
Yelling and chattering,
Never end with these two.
.-.
Food is out.
Why such a battle.
I squirmed and wriggled,
To get one meal done.
Please nap time come.
.-.-.
Afternoon.
Chaos is constant.
Never a moment of peace.
Questions spewing, toys flying, emotions rising.
Will it ever be done?
.-.-.
Bedtime.
Screams of protest.
Anger developing.
Stumbles, fumbles, thrash, splash.
Silence follows all those blunders.
.-.-.
Silence.
Regrets and upsets,
Fill my brain.
Retrace your steps,
To learn again.
Sleep.
.-.-.
Morning.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Being a mama is tough. One child is different than two. Especially when your first child is intelligent and stubborn. She is determined to do it her way. He way or the highway. Except that doesn’t work when it’s supposed to be my way.
Little man is so mellow compared to her. He is smart too, noticeably for his age. My life will be interesting; calm way to put it.
But I struggle. I don’t know what I’m doing. I try my best and always some part of the day seems to be….Blarghbaaaaaaaaaa!!! If you couldn’t tell, that was me having a meltdown.
And I know it will continue to be difficult if we continue to add to our family. But hopefully I can find that flow…a current of productive moments.
I do have those moments. And I need to try and focus on the happy sweet moments of the day at bedtime. It’s difficult. But I know they probably outnumber the bad moments.
To all young moms out there. You are doing a great job. And all grandma’s now, you did amazing job raising your kids. Because they decided to continue the line of family. Your kids feel comfortable and confident enough to raise kids on their own.
Thank you to my mom!❤️
“After A Storm” Digital Art By: emily2jane 04-13-23
I will starting to paint soon. And some of the art from my blog will finally be on canvases!! I’m excited to get my art out into the world. 🎊
The word of the day today might be a negative word. But it helps show you the good in life. Like the picture above. Always after something bad, the good will come into focus, and shine in your life. Have a wonderful day ❤️
It’s said to write what you know. So this poem is based on me meeting my husband. And I’m not exaggerating when I say I went on many first dates. Some I went on up to three-five dates, but they all ended up lying about something in the end. Online dating is already hard enough. Why lie on your profile. Yes personality is a big part of someone, but for me if you lie with a picture what else will you or are you lying about.
I guess, don’t compromise. And don’t be embarrassed if none of your dates are working out. Now you know there is someone who experienced twenty-eight bad ones before my right one found me.
God made me experience all the awful meets, so that I would know the right one when I met him. Also, so I would see all his great qualities, and see past the honesty of the handsomeness of his profile picture.
